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lasthero
Starting tonight, people will die. I'm a man of my word.

Title: Go see AvP: R
Posted: December 25, 2007 (04:16 PM)
It's leagues ahead of the first.

More fights. A matter of fact, I'd say at least a solid third of this movie is just straight up action.

It earns the R rating. I'm almost surprised it didn't get NC-17. Not for children AT ALL.

Plenty of good nods to both franchises.

Went, saw it, had a good time. Won't win any award, but a very enjoyable hour and a half.
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Title: Ugh...I hate Christmas.
Posted: December 22, 2007 (09:52 AM)
-_- Missed the Alphas.

It was kind of a combination of me

A)Thinking the deadline was Sunday, not Friday.

B)Not being able to find a game for I that even remotely struck me as playable. I download Illusions of Gaia and got bored with it ten minutes in. >_<

C) Work bogging me down. It's Christmas, it's UPS, it's been crazy all month - my weekdays have turned into a cycle of waking up, eating, going to work and crashing after 1:00 in the morning.

Am I making excuses? Yeah, I'm making excuses. <_<

Anyway, I'll take my zero. Merry Christmas to all, and good luck to those who came through!

Title: November - The (Hopefully Permanent) Return of LastHero! -- with permission from Sir EmP
Posted: December 02, 2007 (09:22 AM)
Since everyone else seems to be doing it and I want to be popular, I shall recap my reviews for November. Which is, obviously, a simple task.

-Mass Effect-

After I got out of lockup, I was busy getting my life back. Squaring things up. Finding what little enjoyment there was to be had. By chance, I stumbled upon Kmart and went to its gaming department. There I saw a game I'd had my eyes on for a while, Mass Effect. I bought it.

This was November 13th. Mass Effect didn't come out officially until the 20th.

I did not know this at the time...or, well, I didn't know this until I noticed the sticker on the game that said 'DO NOT SELL UNTIL NOVEMBER 20th'. Apparently, people at Kmart are unable to read, because hundreds of Kmarts across the country made the same mistake, and people - most knowingly - took advantage of that.

Ha.

Anyway, Mass Effect was a bit of a challenge to review. It's a great game, yes, but it's also a very huge game - there are a lot of things about it, both good and bad. So, with reviewing it, I had to be choosy. There were a lot of little things I wished I could've gone more in-depth about, but I had to stick with the big stuff. Such is life.

Anyway, it's a good game and it deserves a good review. Hope I gave it that.
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Title: Bastard.
Posted: November 30, 2007 (11:31 PM)
This makes me smile.

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Title: I'm back.
Posted: November 26, 2007 (09:18 AM)
...eh, I don't really feel like talking about what I've been up to. Maybe later.

But I do feel like talking about Spider-Man and comic books, because that's always comfortable territory for me. Or, at least, it was. I don't like Spider-Man anymore.

See, basically, ever since Civl War ended and Captain America 'died', the Marvel Universe has just...sucked. The Hulk invaded Earth with an alien armada (LONG story) and while it was a nice premise with a few bright spots, it just didn't work out on the whole. Marvel (and, really, DC, too, but I don't care about them as much so it means less) have been getting mired in big event after big event. Smoke and mirrors. And they...

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They actually used this as a cover. When I saw this in the store, it didn't bother me too much at first, until I realized the magna section was on the other side of the store. Come on, hentacles. Seriously.

But it's not been a quick thing, Marvel's been on a slow, slow decline. They keep throwing one event after the other, piling hype on hype. There's less focus on good storytelling and more focus on making the most money possible from every issue; reprints, alternate covers, collectables. Characters inexplicably change, do things you'd never imagine them to do. And Spider-Man's been the worst of it.

Gwen Stacey slept with Norman Osborne and had two evil Goblin love-children that grew to age twenty in five years!

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Spider-Man wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider, he was chosen by a magical, mystic spider!



Spider-Man dies - then comes back to life with new powers that haven't been mentioned in a single issue so far!

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Spider-Man takes off his mask and reveals himself to the world!

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Spider-Man immediately wishes he hadn't taken off his mask and joins anti-registration!

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Spider-Man really wishes he hadn't taken off the mask when the Kingpin's hitman shoots Aunt May!

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Spider-Man gets broody and wears the Black Suit again - the one his wife is morbidly afraid of because Venom nearly killed her.

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Spider-Man threatens to kill the Kingpin!

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And now I'm hearing talk about him divorcing Mary Jane. And Mary Jane having superpowers. And them restarting his history. Again.

Just...stop. Just tell a story. I can't even remember the last time I picked up a Spider-Man story and it was just a story, not something that promised to CHANGE SPIDER-MAN'S LIFE FOREVER. Don't get me wrong, it's important that the status quo get shaken up every now and then. But when everything's a shock, you just get dulled. You don't care anymore. And, for the time being, I do not care what happens to Spider-Man.

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Remember this? Remember when it was just Spider-Man taking on his villains, winning against all odds, making us laugh and root for him and kind of feel like we could be a superhero, too?

Yeah. Neither do I.
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Title: Spider-Man 3 Stuff
Posted: November 10, 2006 (07:32 PM)
Let's see, let's see, what's happening in the world today. Democrats took the Senate and the House. Some say it's the beginning of a new era, some say it's a sign of the Apocalypse. 'Rummy' got the pink slip; thought he sucked and deserved it, but eh. Oh, K-Fed and Britney split up. All of zero people were surprised. Less cared.

Good thing I care about important stuff, like comic book movies.

Specifically Spider-Man 3, of which a trailer was released...Thursday, I think. Haven't had the time to check it out, but I did find some scans of the three major villains. Some thoughts...

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Whoops, that's Megatron from the upcoming Transformer movie. My bad. While he's here, I'd like to say how this design, well...I won't say it sucks, it just...doesn't look anything at all like Megatron. Or any Transformer, for that matter. Makes me quite wary of the movie, but I'll remain optimistic. At least he doesn't transform into a gun; always thought that was stupid.

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That's Venom. Not a whole lot to say about his rendition; don't like the vague webs around his feet and arms, but otherwise he's close enough to the original. I STILL think he'll just pop up at the end of the movie and be saved for a big role in Spidey 3. But...after watching X-Men 3, I get bad feelings. Why does everything have to be in trilogies these days? It's like everyone thinks they're George Lucas or something, like there's some incredible need to have a box set. I'd rather have two movies with plots that take their time and spread things out instead of one movie that just crams.

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This is the Sandman. Absolutely NOTHING to say here; he looks exactly like he's always looked...which is a little odd, considering Sandman's look is a little dated. Surprised they didn't 'update' it. Pleasantly surprised. Unfortunately that pleasantness does last long, as I'm introduced to the NEW GREEN GOBLIN...


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Wait for it.


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Don't even know why I have the dots. Don't need 'em.

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Hope you're not drinking anything right now. Might want to swallow before you see this.

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Jesus Christ Sweet Lord in Heaven.

I mean...what? What is that? In the last movie, Harry got access to all his dad's stuff. The Glider, the serum, the bombs, everything. So how did he go from the first movie Goblin - who looked lame, but not that lame - to THIS? He's on a surfboard snowboard, for crying out loud.

Oye. Maybe they'll change it.

Doubt it.

Title: God Hand rocks
Posted: November 08, 2006 (04:48 PM)
I really like God Hand. I really, really do.

I'll save most of my love for the review, but it's just...fun. It's a silly, fun game with a great fighting system that's 100% costumizable. I love the cutscenes, I love the characters (especially Fat Elvis) I love the music, I love the setting, it just...rocks. It amazes me that this game isn't getting more press, but then, it is sort of a unique game that wouldn't appeal to everyone.

But, still...love it.

Touched by the hand of God...
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Title: My thoughts on the Wii
Posted: November 03, 2006 (11:49 AM)
I've got to say, I don't really care much for the Wii. At all.

I don't care to play it, though I will admit the new Super Smash Bros. has me intrigued, but other than that nothing's really piquing my interest. I mean, I understand they mean well with stuff like this...

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...but the idea of flailing my arms around in order to play a videogame sounds really...bad to me. And this is coming from a guy who thought the Virtual Boy would revolutionize the gaming market (I was young and foolish!)

But if you like the Wii, fine. You have a write play what you like. Maybe you enjoy something about it I just can't see. More power to you.

All I ask is that you stop with the stupid Wii puns. PLEASE.

Wiivolution...Wii will rock you...Wii believe in Nintendo...it's idiotic. It was mildly clever with the Wiimote, but now you're just beating a dead horse. A dead, decaying, smelly dead horse.

Title: ARMY OF DARKNESS VS. MARVEL ZOMBIES.
Posted: November 01, 2006 (07:57 PM)
Did a Bully review, but it took me forever and I'm really not satisfied with it. Marvel Ultimate Alliance review should be coming soon, Friday I'm hoping. Lots of crap in my life, most of it has to do with cars, don't feel like whining about. Saw a cool cover for an upcoming comic, just thought I'd share.

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Groovy.
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Title: Rather annoyed.
Posted: October 25, 2006 (04:44 PM)
So, yesterday, I went to my like Gamestop. Asked them if they had Marvel: Ultimate Alliance, because, you know...the release date was yesterday. They didn't have it, said that it was getting SHIPPED on 10/24/06. The guy told me to come back today, at 11:00, when they typically get this stuff in.

Okay, no big deal.

Came back today, about...11:00ish, right. Lady's there this time, and she tells me to come back at 2:00, because that's when they typically get this stuff in. As opposed to 11:00, which the other guy told me. I guess I shouldn't have trusted him to know; I mean, he only had the words 'Manager' buttoned to his chest...

No big deal. Slightly, perturbed, but I'm living with it.

So I come back at 3:00. Still not there. Not only is it not there, but the lady says it won't be there all day because of 'shipping errors'. So I take my preorder money back and decide to look elsewhere, because, really, Gamestop's offer of the code to get Silver Surfer with a preorder is extremely dumb because

A) The code's already on the internet.
B) That's...that's it, really.

So I go to EB. Not there. I call Wal-Mart and Target. Not there. Slowly but surely do I learn that NOT ONE DAMN STORE IN CHARLOTTE HAS THIS GAME TODAY.

I know there are other things to life than videogames. I understand that these things happen. I know it's really no big deal. But...I've been looking forward to it for so long now...just saddens me.

But I'll cope. I rented Bully, and it's keeping me tided; very good game, that.

...

On an odder note, depsite the fact that I don't find Scrubs to be funny, I find myself oddly compelled to watch it.
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Title:
Posted: October 24, 2006 (05:38 PM)
Scrubs isn't funny. It's just not.

That is all.

Title: X-Men 3
Posted: October 16, 2006 (11:37 AM)
[Hanging around, working on this and that, thought I’d try my hand at movie reviewing while I had a moment. Here goes. SPOILERS FOR X-MEN 3 BELOW.]

United Stand

The good thing about making an X-Men movie – well, any comic movie, but especially the X-Men - is that you have a lot of backstory to go with. Just pick a storyline; there’s already hundreds to choose from within the canon. Any one of them could make a decent movie, and some of them are almost tailor-made for it; X-Men stories are typically high on emotion, drama, and action. Follow the comic and you’ve got everything you’d need for a solid flick.

For X-Men 3, they picked the Phoenix Saga. While the Phoenix Saga is normally more complex than what you’ve got here, the basic gist remains the same: Jean Grey, telepath extraordinaire, was supposed to be dead in the last movie. She’s back, and she’s crazy as her inner emotions run wild. Magneto uses her craziness to recruit her to his side, and fight the final battle against the humans, who have created a medicine that cures mutants and makes them 'normal'. Simple plot, not quite true to the original storyline (Would have loved to see Jean in her Hellfire costume) but keeps the basic elements. You want to attract fans; you give the fans what they want…right?

Well…yeah. But they didn’t. Sort of.

Found a light. Nevermind.

Take Wolverine. Wolverine is popular. He sells comic books. I understand featuring him prominently in the movie. Don’t like him, yeah, but it makes sense. However, there are other X-Men on the team and the movie has this bad habit of neglecting them/taking them way out of character. Examples?

Colossus. Major player in the X-Man universe. Saved everyone from the Legacy virus by sacrificing his life. Had a sister named Magick. Joined the Brotherhood for a while. Deep, deep character.

His biggest role in the X-Men 3? Throwing Wolverine into people for their ‘Fastball Special’ teamup attack. That’s it. He appears so rarely in the final battle that you can forget he’s even there, and he has maybe two lines in the whole movie. Maybe.

Rogue. Lover of Gambit. Many connection with Mystique. Had the personality of Ms. Marvel inside her. Was technically an alien for a little bit. Even led the X-Men for a stint. Also deep character.

While it’s not out-of-character for her to jump at the chance to get cured of her powers, it is out-of-character for her to be a total bitch. She runs away, doesn’t help them fight, is cold to her boyfriend, Bobby Drake, for no good reason, and is surprised when he starts to hang around the much nicer and saner Kitty Pride.

Now, with Rogue, this would’ve been a good time to bring in Gambit. She’s hurt. She’s confused. What better time to start up one of the most famous comic couple in history?

WHY WON’T THEY GIVE US GAMBIT?

I could understand maybe not letting him in, really, if they were trying to keep cameo appearances to a minimum. But that’s thing: X-Men 3 literally has more cameos than it knows what to do with. Juggernaut, Beast, Pyro, Maddox the Multiple Man, Callisto, Psylocke, Jubilee…you mean to tell me they had enough gumption to put flippin’ Jubilee in, but they couldn’t fudge a Gambit cameo? Come now.

And the sad thing is, half of these cameos aren’t even near being faithful. From what little we see of her, Psylocke seems to have the ability to walk through walls. She can’t do that in the comics. I didn’t even know it was her until I watched the credits. Lame characters such as Quill (I have the power to make little spikes come out of my skin!) and…ugh…Arclight.

Her secondary mutation seems to be looking really ugly.

God, that woman is hideous. I wasn’t even aware she was a woman until she said something and sounded like a woman. I looked up some pictures of her, and she’s actually pretty nice from the neck down, but that face…whoa. Beauty’s only skin deep, but there’s a point…

Anyway.

All these X-Men make an appearance, but are they put to good use? Hardly. You’ve got Colossus and you’ve got the Juggernaut, two of the most famous bruisers in the MU, well-known for their little rivalry. Common sense would tell you that a knockdown, drag out, hardnail fistfight should happen between them. Does it? Nope. Juggernaut is too busy chasing little girls and quoting internet phrases (“I’m the Juggernaut, BITCH!”) and Colossus is…I dunno where Colossus is. He’s around. I guess showing Wolverine kick somebody in the crotch is more important.

Because crotch shots are so badass.

Wolverine, Wolverine, Wolverine. It’s all about Wolverine. He saves the day. He goes here. Wolverine does this, Wolverine does that; he makes the speeches, he comes up with the plan, he leads the time despite the fact that he’s supposed to be a ‘loner’. he’s always at the center. Which, again, makes sense, but his role in X3 is just too much. Cyclops is the leader of the team and is the one who, really, played the bigger role in the Dark Phoenix Saga. He barely appears in the first fourth of the movie, and spends the rest of the time completely absent. As a matter of fact, the X-Men movies have been extremely unfair to Cyclops. In the first, he spent most of it being a dick and making Wolverine look good. In the second, he had a three second fight and spent most of the movie kidnapped. Here…well, I won’t say, but he gets screwed royally.

No worries. This is just Cyclops venting his rage for being screwed over three movies in a row.

They could’ve done so much with him, had such awesome ties with him and Jean, brilliant interplay…just like the rest of X-Men 3, it’s squandered potential. Maybe the fourth time will be the charm.

PS: Halle Berry sucks, but that goes without saying, really. I would’ve thought Catwoman taught her to stay away from superhero movies, but I guess not.

Puuuuuuurrrrrrfect!

Title: FANFICTION STUFF
Posted: October 10, 2006 (12:43 PM)
Yes, that's right, the Fanfiction Editor is going to talk about FANFICTION. The wonders never cease.

I looked in the fanfiction section, and what did I see? Amazing work from Silverishness.

It’s funny, and it’s Drakengard. Read!

Shadowrun goodness, courtesy of EmP.

Good, yet good for you.

Even a fanfiction (sort of) courtesy of Sho. FRICKIN’ SHO!

Actually, I think this one appeared in his blog at some point, and it’s probably been around long before that. Still. Read.

Good stuff. But low on the hits. This saddens me, because, well, it IS my own damn fault. I’m supposed to be drawing potential fanfiction writers, and I’m supposed to be writing fanfiction myself. So, time to take steps.

First off, I’m going to get back into the swing of recruitment. While the responses I get from emails are sporadic, I’ve drawn some exceptional talent with the method (looking at you, Silver. ^_^) Getting people to post their fanfiction isn’t the hard part, it’s getting them to stick around which poses a challenge.

So, on that front, I think I might try to get a ‘Fanfiction of the Month’ thing going on. Dig it: At the end of every month, I do a similar deal to the Review of the Week. Post the top three, give some critique, and the #1 fanfiction gets the honor of prominent display for an entire month (though, where we would hang such a title, I can’t quite think. Never was much good with design) I also want to see if we can get some front page exposure for fanfictions, one the section starts to get heated up. EmP made the suggestion a while back, and it’s a valid one; reviews and FAQs get the front page treatment (in differing proportions) so why hold back the fanfics?

Second off, I need to start posting some of my own work, and I’m not talking about snippy character interviews. I’ve got a pretty sweat Punisher vs. Predator fanfic in the works, first chapter’s almost done. The prologue Soul Caliber III fanfic, Ties That Break, is coming along well, too. Just a matter of getting the character voice down…I can tackle it. As a matter of fact, after I review Superman Returns I think I’m going to draw back on my review writing and focus more on writing fanfiction.

Hot times ahead.


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Title:
Posted: October 06, 2006 (10:29 AM)
Okay.

As you may or may not know/care, I don’t like Wolverine too much. He was kind of cool back in that old 90’s cartoon, and he’s had some cool moments in comicdom, but he suffers from being woefully overused. He’s got about three solo titles. Mini series. Is simultaneously part of two X-Men teams and the Avengers. Constantly guest stars in other books…it just gets out of hand. Top that off with the fact that he really doesn’t change much as a character, and he gets old real quick.

But if there’s one thing I could hate more than Wolverine, it’s a clone of Wolverine.

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A FEMALE CLONE. Argh.

Much as I like Marvel, they don’t learn too well. Spider-Man had a clone, once, and it led to one of the most lamentable series in their entire history, damn near destroyed there #1 cash cow. You think they’d learn to stay away from clones.

But apparently not, and X-23 is a lot like her ‘daddy’. She used to be an assassin for the government, got away. Secret Weapon Program, all that stuff. Spent some time as a pedophile prostitute…which is kind of…not like Wolverine, but give it time. Wound up with the X-Men, yadda yadda yadda. She growls just like Wolverine, broods like him; the only big difference is that, as a fellow comic enthusiast put it, she’s ‘WOLVERINE WITH BEWBS’.

Yeah. Nice mental image.

But how could you make such a character even lamer than that? For that matter, why does X-23 only have four claws? Where’s the other two? Simple.

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Yes, footclaws. Whenever you want to make something dumb even dumber, give it footclaws. Gaurenteed screw up.
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Title: Just Cause
Posted: October 06, 2006 (06:05 AM)
Just Cause

There we go.

From what I can see across the web, I get the inkling that the Playstation 2 version of Just Cause is the BAD version, and all the others are miraculously better. Uh-huh. Aside from improved graphics, I can't really see that, but I'll hold my tongue.

Better post coming later today, introducing you to the stupidity that is X-23: THE GIRL THAT IS WOLVERINE'S DAUGHTER /CLONE /PROSTITUTE. Also, gearing up for Round 2 of the war.
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