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honestgamer It's not all an elaborate ruse, some misguided attempt to establish for myself an online persona of dubious quality. I really am dull. If you don't find that unbearable, though, this is my blog that examines just how truly boring I can be.

Title: To the cutting room floor with you, bloated intro!
Posted: August 15, 2009 (12:45 AM)
I am in the process of writing a review for G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra on the PlayStation 3. I've made several attempts at an intro and spent awhile on the one that I'm including below, but it's just too long and probably not interesting enough to serve as a worthwhile introduction to a review that will probably be fighting to stay below a certain word count as it is.

Therefore, I'm including the intro here for posterity. That's about it...


The first toy I have any specific memory of asking my parents to buy me was a G.I. Joe doll. It was one of the 3 1/2-inch figures like so many people in the 80s collected. I didn't name any specific character, so my mom picked Flint as the brave soldier who would first join my collection. I was ecstatic to finally have my first troop, of course, but slowly reality set in: G.I. Joe is only fun when you have a whole squad and some nefarious enemies. Stylish poses are neat and all, but they only go so far.

The day that Flint arrived in my grubby hands was to be a turning point in his little plastic life. While messing around with the solitary action figure, I eventually discovered that because a rubber band attached his torso to his legs, I could twist the upper half around a few times, then let loose and watch as the hapless soldier's top spun around like a helicopter blade. It was a neat trick that I often repeated, until finally the rubber band frayed and I was left with a broken action figure. It was a very sad day for me.

In the years that followed, Flint was replaced by enough G.I. Joe figures to fill a carrying case, then a sufficient quantity after that to stuff a plastic grocery bag. Vehicles also made their way under my bed and I went out of my way to watch the cartoon whenever I could, seldom missing an episode. Years later, the fad faded and toys vanished from stores, but I was ready again when the 25-year reissue came around. I picked up another 40 or so of the figures and finally I added Flint to my collection. Again.

This time I didn't turn him into a makeshift helicopter.
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Title: When I get a cold, I really, really, REALLY get a cold...
Posted: August 01, 2009 (03:14 PM)
So, I've had most of the last few days off from work, but I haven't been working on the site much. Why? Because I've had a cold. That sounds like the sort of thing that would inspire sarcastic comments of "Boo hoo, poor baby has a cold!" and I can understand that response, but my immune system is weird. I don't often get sick with a cold or anything else, but when I do... I really do.

My typical cold lasts me anywhere from one week to a month, which makes it a good thing that they don't come along all that often. The worst of my current one seems to be over, but I'm still avoiding sweets, still guzzling immune system-boosting tea and orange juice, still eating hardly anything at all these past few days. Another day or two and I should be golden again...

So yeah, I hate getting colds. They reduce my productivity to approximately nothing. I guess I needed a bit of a rest anyway, but I would have preferred to take it while feeling mostly decent.
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Title: Stupid British woman... or really clever one?
Posted: July 06, 2009 (01:54 PM)
Apparently, the new head of MI6 over in England has either an incredibly stupid wife, or a rather selfish and clever one. Seen here:


I don't know about you, but if I were appointed as head of such a secret and dangerous organization--one with capable enemies located throughout the world--I would make sure that my wife very much knew the dangers of posting pictures of me and my family, information about where we live and where we vacation on a service such as Facebook.

The move is so incredibly stupid that I can't help but think she did it in hopes that he would be stripped of his position and... I dunno, given a job as a chef or something?
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Title: 21st Century Breakdown
Posted: July 06, 2009 (02:10 AM)
21st Century Breakdown, the 2009 release from Green Day, is awesome. Though it contains more than an hour of music, that's not the album's greatest feat. Instead, it should be praised for this: most of that music rocks. There are three or four songs--out of 18 full-length selections--that I could stand to do without, but even then the album would be chock full of Southern California goodness. I recommend it.

Title: Some commericals rock
Posted: July 05, 2009 (01:43 AM)
I just love the Bridgestone tires commerical that features a bunch of screaming animals. Apparently, it was played on Superbowl Sunday (which makes sense) and now it's still airing sometimes... including this evening/early morning. You can see the video here:

I guess that just leaves the question of how I spent my 4th of July. This morning, after taking my wife to work, I came home and finished up Call of Juarez: Bound in Blood, as well as my review. I like how both the game and the review turned out in the end.

Then I played a bit of Overlord II, also in PlayStation 3 form, which so far is okay but not necessarily better than the first one... just different.

I wasn't able to play that long before it was time to pick my wife up from work. Then we came home briefly before heading down to the marina to meet with her folks, who for now are living permanently on a boat moored there. It's large enough to host meetings with friends and family and is quite the hopping place, actually. There were a lot of folks there now--family and their children--but most of them cleared out and then there were just my wife's folks and her gradnmother, who had made the trip over the mountain pass to visit.

My brother-in-law (who lives with us) was also there, and he got bored so he talked his dad into playing some cribbage. I hadn't played in years--when my father-in-law taught me how, actually--and I'd forgotten the rules. So I watched until I had a grip on things, then the third round was one in which I played. I emerged victorious, which was pretty cool because people usually can't beat my father-in-law (certainly, my wife and her brother were not up to the task).

After that, though it was foggy, the fireworks started. They were launched from only a short distance away, so I was able to climb onto the bridge of the boat and watch them in the sky above and reflecting off the water in the bay. It was a beautiful sight, not quite postcard perfect but still pretty spectacular. Then I drug my wife off partway through them and we zipped home ahead of traffic, which would have been brutal within a few minutes because the whole way up to the highway--past the brewery and along a few campgrounds was lined with cars. Then we made it home and my wife insisted on playing cribbage with me and I won again.

Tomorrow, I hope to play more Overlord II, maybe even beat it and review it, though that probably won't happen. Still, it would be nice to make good headway because there are plenty of other games that I'm looking forward to playing and reviewing. Life sure does keep me busy!
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Title: Garage Sale
Posted: June 27, 2009 (11:11 AM)
I live in an apartment complex, but that hasn't stopped the neighbors from getting together for a garage sale. It's an odd sort of event, with people sitting at individual tables every few buildings or so, junk piled in short stacks and individually priced.

The table nearest me is as far as I've gone yet, since it was quite a short walk. It didn't look particularly promising, but there were some CDs in a stack. Most of them didn't interest me or were CDs that I already had myself (like Everclear). However, near the top was "Plans" by Death Cab for Cutie. I'd been meaning to check out their music for awhile and I had the requisite $1 on me, so I checked out its condition and found that it can best be described as "mint." I'm picky about stuff like that, so I was pleased enough that I fished a dollar out of my pocket.

As for the CD, which I'm listening to right now, it seems pretty good. Certainly worth the $1, though I'm not sure that it would inspire me to buy more of their stuff. It'll go nicely enough with my Snow Patrol, Oasis, Franz Ferdinand and all of that sort of thing. Sometimes some mellow rock is good for the soul and that's what this is.
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Title: It's long
Posted: June 21, 2009 (11:54 AM)
By which I naturally mean the amount of time that I have to go without a day off on my current work schedule. I'm working eight consecutive days. Worse, the four-hour shifts for which I was originally scheduled have now been turned into eight-hour shifts because the person doing the scheduling right now has very little experience in that capacity. However, it does mean more money that I can put toward my mountain of debt. I'm looking forward to maybe paying off state taxes--which were abnoromally vicious because I did a lot of freelance work in 2008 and Oregon likes to bone people who don't spend all their time working for the man--and even a small credit card or two. If I can get ahead of schedule on eliminating debts this summer, I'm more likely to survive this winter when income is slim. After all, having fewer payments to make each month means fewer bills I can forget to pay and also means that the money I would have applied to one credit card or loan can go toward more quickly paying down another.

So I guess long isn't always a bad thing, but it sure feels bad right now.
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Title: Productivity
Posted: June 18, 2009 (02:49 AM)
After some early afternoon fun wading in water at the ocean (sometimes it's really quite nice living within a quarter-mile of the Pacific Ocean), I spent the remainder of the afternoon continuing my campaign to post a bunch of screenshots on the site.

We're now nearing 40,000 posted screenshots, which is quite the handsome number and represents screens from a wide variety of games.

I hope to continue posting screens in the months ahead and working to expand the number on the site so that we don't leave any "major" games untouched. We've also been doing good for niche games right along, and I hope that can also continue.

As I've noted a few times, I plan to put a lot more of my energy toward stuff like that in the coming months and a bit less on actually reviewing at the frantic rate some might expect. I actually do have a few games sitting around that I need to review, though, before that can happen. There are two in particular that I need to cover soon, plus another one or two on the way, so I probably will have to give screenshots a rest while I wear my reviewer hat for a bit.

Side note: the early afternoon sunshine has given way to thoroughly overcast skies that in turn have given way to drizzle. My home office is now merged with my bedroom, so as I finish up typing this entry I'm listening to the rain patter on the ground outside. It's very peaceful... and terrific for screenshot-posting marathons!
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Title: Proctology: The Game
Posted: June 01, 2009 (08:06 PM)
Only on HonestGamers, now you can read all about the latest Wii sensation. It's called Proctology: The Game and it will own your ass!

The cover art alone tells you what to expect: a grueling, butt-wrenching tale of love, lust, betrayal and affordable pricing, all rolled into one scrumptious package and controlled with your Wii Remote. Nunchuk movements optional.

Details are scarce right now--especially since this game exists only in my imagination--but you can count on me to follow up with more juicy details the minute I have them? Or can you?

Probably not. I just don't know when I've ever seen a cover so interesting for a game so transparently lifeless (a dart game sim, and the latest in what is quickly becoming a franchise at that!).

Next time, I'll try to blog about something serious.
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Title: An appeal to promote...
Posted: May 25, 2009 (01:14 AM)
The organic nature of the Internet means that links can come from anywhere and they can have an impact on things we do today, even if you've long since forgotten about them. Old social network profiles that you haven't used in years can still feed links to the sites that they link. Myspace accounts long since forgotten are still helping some sites to grow, still referring newcomers to services you once liked... or may still like.

Given all of that, I thought it made sense to make an appeal to all of you to dig back in your memory. Are there any old profiles you don't use that could benefit from a link to HonestGamers? You're here on the site reading my blog--which I appreciate--so it stands to reason that you like the site and that a link to it wouldn't be out of place. Most importantly, taking a few minutes to stick links on old social pages, in old signatures and whatever else could result in more traffic coming here over the next few weeks and months... which would allow you to enjoy the sites that you currently visit--like HonestGamers--that little bit extra.

While some of you do that, as I hope you will, I'll continue trying to find new ways to promote the site and to generate additional content and to recruit new talent. The time has come for us to grow, but we can only do it together. I'm counting on all of you to contribute what you can, even if it's just a sig update or perhaps a PM to a gamer friend you haven't chatted with online in awhile.

Of course, some of you don't have time for any of that. I respect that. The rest of you, though, the ones just killing time... I hope that you'll find it worthwhile to bring some newcomers on board. As I think is fairly clear from activity these past few weeks, we could definitely use new faces as we move forward. Thanks for your consideration and your continued support at this important time!
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