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honestgamer It's not all an elaborate ruse, some misguided attempt to establish for myself an online persona of dubious quality. I really am dull. If you don't find that unbearable, though, this is my blog that examines just how truly boring I can be.

Title: Since I'm posting about it everywhere else...
Posted: June 27, 2006 (12:33 AM)
...I just thought I'd post here that I finished the first draft of my new novel. It's not done, of course, because a first draft is only the beginning. Still, this is reason to celebrate.

I'll be working to polish the first draft over subsequent revisions, but you should be seeing a lot more of me around here in the meantime. Writing this novel has consumed a great deal of my spare time, and I hope to make up for that with sexy (and witty) journal entries.

In case you wondered, no; I'm not stupid enough to think that this entry qualifies as "witty." I'm too tired for that, and excited. I'll save witty for later.
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Title: Family Guy is genius
Posted: June 25, 2006 (11:35 PM)
I know I have said it in the past, but I'll say it again: Family Guy is funny because it's random.

Tonight's episode (which I suspect was a rerun) had me laughing most of the way through, like when Adam West tried jiggling his keys out the window to distract town residents from the fact that he spent all the town money on a giant golden statue shapped like a Sugar Smacks frog.

The best part for me was when Peter said "It's like that time Moby Dick stayed with us," and it shot to a scene of Peter at the table with a whale. Moby Dick wanted raisin bran, but they only had raisins and Total cereal. Peter figured it was good enough, but Moby Dick disagreed.

When I describe it like that, it doesn't sound funny. And maybe it's not, but it's so random that I couldn't help but laugh. It's one of those cases where the subject matter is so inane that you shouldn't even stand watching it, yet it's so unexpected that you have to laugh. Well, I had to laugh. I realize a lot of people probably found that episode offensive. I was among them, but I was laughing too hard to care.

That's good television.
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Title: Shh. Don't tell Janus.
Posted: June 25, 2006 (02:22 AM)
Janus doesn't know it yet, and perhaps he won't notice at all, but I've beat his score at Crystal Quest by a hefty margin.

At first, I only had about 3,000,000 points and then I looked and saw that he had more than 8,000,000. This was distressing news, and I wasn't sure how in the world he managed to accomplish it until I tried the game on its most difficult setting. Then I realized that you get massive points for playing that way.

So I went through and made it to Wave 16, which handily doubled and almost tripled his best score. So now I'm the leader among those on my friends list. It feels good to be on top, oh yes!
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Title: Updating my list of games to purchase...
Posted: May 19, 2006 (09:55 PM)
For my own reference, I'm including an updated version of my "games I still need to get" post. The good news is that I've made a lot of progress. I'm starting this list out with the names of the games I still have to get, rather than listing all the games I already got from before. I'd like to send a big thanks out to all the game publishers who haven't been releasing many good games lately. It makes it easier to go back and catch up on the ones I missed!

Game Boy Advance

Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Lufia 3


Fire Emblem
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Mario Strikers
Mega Man X: Command Mission
Pikmin 2

Nintendo DS

Advance Wars: Dual Strike
Kirby: Canvas Curse
Mario & Luigi 2
Yoshi's Touch & Go

Playstation 2

Atelier Iris: Eternal Mana 2
Disgaea 2 (pre-release review build :O)
Drakengard II
Final Fantasy XII
Grandia III
Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones
Sly 3

I'll strike through each title once I purchase it. Hopefully, the list will someday be completely stricken through!
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Title: Console Patterns
Posted: May 09, 2006 (12:29 PM)
Have you ever paid attention to the patterns consoles follow? I notice them from a Nintendo perspective. Here's how I see it:

Nintendo: Every other console, they make a huge leap to some new approach. NES/SNES (good, old-fashioned 2D gaming), SNES/N64 (good, old-fashioned 3D gaming), Wii/??? (gaming with motion sensing).

Sony: Small evolutions every time out of the gate, with a lot of attention paid to what the other guy is doing.

Microsoft: Good, old-fashioned gaming with an emphasis on the online side of things, more like you might expect from a PC.

Now, what does all of this lead me to believe? I think that, if it succeeds, Nintendo will keep following the pattern that has kept it in business longer than any of "the big three." I think we'll see two systems with heavy focus on the motion-sensitive stuff (the next one with a big graphical boost, of course). Then?

I think Nintendo will do the whole virtual reality thing. We'll see in 10 years, right?

As for Sony, I think it'll keep making micro-improvements that focus heavily on graphical upgrades and media center applications, until it stops kidding itself and realizes that what it's really done is evolve the Playstation line into a surprisingly successful PC.

Microsoft, meanwhile, will likely keep doing what it's doing, but will in essence have its own line of PCs, as well. So basically, console gaming as we know it will be all but dead in 10 years. :-(
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Title: Why do I like Nintendo?
Posted: May 04, 2006 (07:38 PM)
I feel it’s high time that I came right out and told you all why I love Nintendo. There are a lot of people that theorize about such things. They’re not talking about me, but just Nintendo fans in general. You know the description: Cheetos-loving fattie who lives with his parents. Age is never really mentioned because it’s assumed that if you love Nintendo, you’re either a juvenile at heart or in reality. Well, that’s not always true. As I see it, there are two sorts of Nintendo fans:

1) Kids who are creating memories for the first time
2) Older gamers who never got tired of having fun

I fall into the latter group, obviously. When I was young, I enjoyed the heck out of Nintendo’s games. When other kids grew up and learned that in order to have fun with games, it’s necessary to kill hookers, I skipped class. So I’m stuck in this twilight zone where I don’t play games as a way to express myself, or as a way to act out my violent aggressions without fear of reprisal. I still play games for the most fundamental of reasons, the one that attracted me to the hobby in the first place: fun!

I think you’ll find that most Nintendo fans share that desire. And really, I’m not sure that’s true of every gamer. Some people game socially. Some people do it for the thrill of competition, or the challenge. These are in their own ways admirable reasons to play, but I think they narrow things down too much. If you’re in it for one of those reasons, you can’t easily enjoy a good fun game that doesn’t have a hooker slaughter, or whatever. You can’t enjoy a product if it’s not challenging you. So many gamers have stopped playing just for the fun.

Well, most Nintendo fans don’t seem to be that way. I can identify with other Nintendo fans because when we start talking about games, we aren’t generally talking about polygon counts or even innovation. When you hear a Nintendo fan talking about those things, he’s trying to pander to someone. Maybe it’s the Sony fan who says “Well, my system is better because the emotion engine makes Squall’s hair blow in the wind!”

(Yes, that example is way out of date. I know, I know.)

Well, the Nintendo fan then has to try and talk on that level. Of course it’s going to sound hollow. Because if I say “I love the way they put all that detail in Mario’s butt,” I look like a complete freak. That’s not what Nintendo’s games are about. Nintendo’s games aren’t necessarily attempting to compete directly with every element that games from Sony or Microsoft do well.

This is not to say that those companies fail to do anything worthwhile. It’s just that Nintendo doesn’t always try to mimic it. And you know what? Despite what a lot of Nintendo-hating people will work hard to make you believe, there’s nothing wrong with that.

I don’t need a billion polygons working in perfect harmony to have fun with a game. 8-bit graphics can still amuse me if the game plays right. I don’t need a complex plot filled with intrigue, betrayal and murder. I don’t mind it if the game I’m playing has that, though, so long as the game remains fun. High-definition gaming can go screw itself. Online play is optional. Multi-player mode doesn’t always have to be perfect, and there are times where the reverse is true and I’ll forgive a game with crappy single-player campaigns if it’s fun to experience with friends.

It keeps coming back to that one word: fun. And that’s why I’m a Nintendo fan.

The part of me that never grew up and became self-conscious about my hobby still loves to see a giant mushroom waddling toward me, menacing eyes fixated on my blue suspenders. I remember how much fun I had with such games in the past, and right away I’m interested. That same part can stare across Hyrule Field for several minutes, swept up in the grand adventure of it all, even before the sun sets and skeletons shamble toward me. I’m too busy remembering all the past adventures to care.

And when I play today’s newest games, am I looking for the most innovative experience of all time? Heck no! I’m looking for another trip into the worlds I explored in my childhood. Sure, I expect them to have better graphics. And I like new adventures, but that’s all you have to give me. You don’t have to make things violent to retain my interest. You just have to keep doing what I always found to be fun in the first place.

This is something that Nintendo’s detractors don’t understand. They don’t get how I can sit down in front of the television and wander through some dorky village, picking up chickens and throwing them at nothing, or breaking clay pots with my sword and scooping up the hearts that float about. They’ve moved on. Don’t I understand that I should be like them? Don’t I understand that I’m not having fun if I’m not blowing up a space station or slapping a police officer around?

People bash Nintendo for a lot of things. They bash them for not innovating, which is hogwash but irrelevant in my book. They bash them for recycling old games. Well, guess what? That’s what I want. It’s not me—a Nintendo fan—pretending to want it because that’s all Nintendo is willing to produce. First, Nintendo puts out a lot of new properties (I generally love them), and secondly, I like rereleases of the old classics on occasion.

I guess that’s what makes me a Nintendo fan. If it’s still fun, I’ll play it. I’ll play it even when it’s not high-definition, even when there aren’t amazing online components, even when other people are turned away by graphics or perceived immaturity. I’m not in this for the same thing some people are. I’m in it for the fun, pure and simple. Until Nintendo stops providing that fun—and they aren’t yet at risk of doing so as far as I’m concerned—I’ll remain a fan. A fanboy, if you will. Because sometimes, you have to be a Nintendo fanboy to have any fun with games. Nyah!
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Posted: April 20, 2006 (11:57 PM)
Tonight I was at Best Buy and I played a few minutes of NBA Live 2006. I know it got mediocre reviews, but I really had a good time. The graphics were cool and I didn't have a hard time with the controls. I was able to figure out how to move the ball down the court pretty quickly, and I would've given serious consideration to buying it if they had any copies in the store. Sadly, they only had it on display, but no copies to sell. So I don't own the game and got season five of Frasier instead. Stupid Best Buy.
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Posted: April 14, 2006 (09:17 PM)
I'm getting fat. My waist is now up to 34" and I probably weigh something like 155 or 160. When I was in high school, I weighed more like 145 and I had a 30" waist most of that time. So yeah, I'm getting fat.

I decided to do something about it, so I went down to our apartment complex weight room. There's not a whole lot of equipment there, just some of the usual stuff where you sit in a bench and push your arms together to life weights or whatever. There's also a Nordic skiier machine.

It's boring as hell, and I was alone, but I tried to make the best of things by testing the skiier. I can't figure out how the darn thing works, so then there was that pedal machine where you just step up and down and the backs of your legs get sore. It said I was burning a lot of calories, and I did it for two minutes or so and got rid of 20 of the buggers, but my legs were sore so I went through the other machines. Anyway, long story short: I burned about 40 calories tonight and if I know me, that's the last time I'll ever visit the weight room. I need to do something, though. I don't want to gain a lot of weight!
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Title: Whoever said dog poop is bad is full of crap
Posted: April 13, 2006 (10:02 PM)
I just found this article interesting, so I had to share:


And in an effort to make this entry more worthwhile, I shall now discuss random thoughts that have been going through my head. Namely, why can't people wait 3 seconds and live a safer life?

Around here, it's extremely uncommon to drive down the highway without someone whipping out just in front of you from a side street. They do this no matter what, but they're fondest of doing it when otherwise, there's no other traffic in sight. So, I have to brake like nobody's business to avoid slamming into their side (when I'm going no faster than the speed limit, no less) and they save themselves a grand total of two or three seconds. They could just as easily have waited that small bit of time, then pulled out with all the time in the world. Why do they do it? People want to be in front. That's all it is. They want to be ahead of everybody else and they don't care that someday it's going to get them in a wreck.

That's why there are so many wrecks, really: people are morons.
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Title: Natalie Portman: that girl can rap!
Posted: March 06, 2006 (09:39 PM)
You know you've always wanted to see Natalie Portman rap, and now you can:


Oh, yeah!
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