Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW // 6th April – 12th April // A Week of Reviews (and tagine burnout)

My review doesn’t count this week. I only mention it to set things up for when Rob forgets it on his rota.

I think Double Dragon II might be the best review I’ve read yet from CptRetroBlue. It’s well researched, comparing the game to some of the more stand out variations and the differences that make this version a lacking port. It's things like this that give review a sense of authority on the subject that inspires trust. There’s also a few new tricks on display, such as captioning screenshots that you can have expected Overdrive to have mastered by 2046. What does drag the review out of the placements is some awkward phrasing and a listy subject nature. But good work, nonetheless.

Mariner’s topic starter was a bit damp. I absolutely get why you might start your review talking about why you would want to play/write about the game you’ve chosen because that will sometimes be the most pressing question on the reader's mind. I’m not sure that’s worked for mariner, though, who uses the story of how it was cheap to start and close his review. It’s an overused process and it’s just not that interesting! The rest of the review works much better; the second paragraph where you embrace the goofy chaos works much better and was a lot of fun to read.

I think what marks this as a very good review is how you make it clear the game is not for you, but still manage to praise aspects that might mean the game could appeal more to others. This is done with clever little additions, like a throwaway line about getting an arm power-up that adds nothing but sillier animation.

Here is a slight niggle: Sure, there's some minor secrets you can seek out if you want to in order to 100% it, and there is a co-op mode of you want, but that's about it -- you might want to take out one of the ‘if you want’ instances. If not, you may want to change ‘of’ in the last one to ‘if’.

THIRD Dragon Quest [SWH] Joe
Joe’s exploration of Dragon Quest revisited centres upon what an update should and shouldn’t do, I think, very well. The best example he lands upon is that ye olde way of talking to NPCs was to summon up a menu, scroll down to talk option then, nine times out of ten, get a collection of words that mean very little, worsened by the fact that progress I the game relies upon talking to NPCs. Making this a light focus of the first half of your review is a really good way to advertise the worth of modernising classic games. I think that focus starts to slip as you near then end and start talking about FAQS and the like. There’s a bigger element of rambling and repeating in the last stretch, which is why I assumed this was a Rob review revisits point already well made elsewhere. Now stop reviewing Switch games or Jason will feel he can go even longer in between actually writing something.

SECOND Kingdom Hearts III Re:Mind [PS4] Overdrive

It’s borderline adorable that Rob builds himself up for a savage mauling of a game and the very worst he can do is come up with a 1.5.

If anything you do a good enough job to justify an even lower score. Especially in the first half of the review where you savage how this is DLC demanding a full game retail price that just makes you retread an inflated ending that you’ve already played. I’m normally a (pretty vocal) dissident when it comes to dropping price points because that shit’s variable as hell and can change at any given second, which really dates reviews. But it works well here, even if it could be changing as we speak. The half of the review talking about the revamping ending run is very well written; I’ve played no further than the original Kingdom Hearts (which I have no plans to ever change) so the majority of the names thrown at me meant thing, but it was phrased in such a way that it all sounded like a massive cluster. Backed by strong examples, such as how the game does away with an annoying overlong collectathon so it could replace it with an annoying overlong collectathon.

The second half of the review doesn’t hold up as well when your working theory is “why can’t I use the most basic attack strategy and grind to smash through these purposefully difficult fights” and I fear you're at risk at being countered with a git gud. It’s still a thing; I’ve seen it. But you still make your points at them being overhard, backed by your example of how fighting them one on one could have been cool considering they merge into one big threat during the main game’s boss fights. I really like this review.

WINNER Shadow Gangs [PC] Masters

“I could compare this to a popular game you can all easily recognise,” says Marc Golding, “So I will. Look at all the Shinobi games I’ve reviewed”

Only Zig liked ShinobiThis establishes early that Masters loves him some Shinobi games and, with that newfound sense of credibility in hand, goes on to show that, regardless of how hard it wants to be a spiritual successor, Shadow Gangs just don't stack. Backhanded props are given when they’re due, but mainly, the game is dismatled for trying to ape a much loved blueprint and getting it all wrong. Bringing up direct comparisons between the two games when needed to show how wrong this new game has got it. Maybe, at times, it comes across as written from the pen of a retro elitist, but then, who else would this game be aimed at in the first place. This is a game where Masters is absolutely the target audience, which also makes him the exactly right person to dismantle this game’s shortcomings. I’m saying it’s more serendipitous coincidence that makes this such a brilliant review, rather than any of the efforts from the author. Got to deflate that ego a bit after handing him back to back RotW wins.

For us. For them. For you.

Thanks for the kind words and placement. I'm so grateful for all that stuff that I'll even remember your review next week when I do my RotW!*

I really couldn't go lower than 1.5 just because it is solidly made as far as controls and gameplay and aesthetics go. One of those weird cases where I didn't have any issue with it mechanically, but was legit offended that something like this was made and sold at a price that typically is reserved for large, kick-ass expansions and this wasn't that.

And, yeah, I know what you said about the second part begging for a "get gud". Might not have explained it quite as well as the first part, but it comes down to simply being so dramatically different from everything else, difficulty-wise to the degree it's almost unapproachable unless you've gotten super-duper-gud. Like, for me, Kingdom Hearts has been a series where I put it on Normal difficulty and just sort of cruise through most stuff, enjoying the nostalgia factor and how over-the-top nutty the plot got as it expanded to the point where it swallowed itself and descended into the depths of insanity. And, other than bonus bosses and a couple other foes (like the true final boss of Birth By Sleep), that strategy works great. Here, Normal is still so hard that I would have probably had to play on the toughest difficulty setting to be remotely prepared for this AND by this point in time, I had no desire to put in that sort of effort.

Or, in short, when I pick up a FROM Software game, I know I'll be dealing with soul-crushing difficulty where I have to think outside the box and use whatever tactics I can come up with to get past some obstacles. That's part of the game and if I'm not in the mood for that, I better be playing something else. With KH III, I was in the mood for something laid back and easier, so when a very large part of an expensive DLC was nothing but a super-tough-at-any-difficulty boss rush, I was stuck between admiring how the fights were designed and frustrated to the "time to put this game up" point by how I'd have to truly dedicate myself to things in order to have a chance of getting through those fights.

* Not a guarantee.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Very late RotW is also very good. :) Though it's entirely possible I'm saying that because of how the placements shook out. Thanks for getting this done and for the encouragement. Kudos to Rob on his bash review, which I rather enjoyed, and it's good to have Joe (kind of?) back.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!