Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW // 3rd February – 9th February // New Rot(a) Order

“We should probably decide if we’re going to switch the rota order back to how it was, if we’re going to keep going EmP > Masters from here on out”, I recently said to Marc “Masters” Golding.

Several hours went by.

“What’s this?” He eventually replied. So I explained it all again “urgh, I don’t to do this week”, was his equally tardy retort. “You do it.”

So do it I shall.

Joe’s find himself in unfamiliar ground and outside the podium. A lot of this, I think, is due to the awful games he played over this week. Space Shaft was my fault, but turned out to be the stronger of the two reviews. It was short, giving it the time it deserved, and talking about how you effortlessly broke the game after deciding the way you were supposed to play was unachievable was brilliantly conveyed. I didn’t really like your review for Neverlast. Unlike Shaft (Shut yo mouth), the review was lengthy and kind of droning. I conclude the game was such a drudging boredom simulator that it temporarily broke you. It was brave of you to tackle it, but it felt like you were just going through the motions to get something out. Shaft was pretty great through; no one could have done better with that nonsense. Would you care for another?

Joe has a Switch now, so Jason’s going to slowly start trying to turn him, like an alien face hugger or weird cult leader. It’s his thing


THIRD Wizards & Warriors [NES] Pickhut

We have a history, this series and I. But I’m not allowed to talk about it.

Like me (LIKE EVERYONE!) Pick does not like this series. This series is bad.

Before being proven wrong by the very next thing he writes, I’ve often accused Pick of being the most fair handed basher out of all of us. This is sort of true here; I think the reason I liked this review was because it doesn't quite play it as straight laced as usual, and does throw some mockery in there at times. It’s also a shorter review, so it doesn't waste time on this armpit of a gaming series, because it doesn't deserve our words. I’m writing about it second hand and I hate the time I’m having to waste on it. I’m going to stop.

SECOND Reign of Bullets (PC) Masters

Marc goes mad, throwing out three ridiculously good reviews, but I’m going to settle on Reign as his best of the three. In a lot of ways, perhaps it shouldn’t be; it’s the least interesting of the three games, but the way he casually dismiss it with a lot of really good phrases has effortlessly won me over. The faux bad-film intro was golden, the kitchen sink link was the best line of the week, and I think you’ve even snagged best tagline on a site thanks to my inspiration that constantly throws out killer taglines.

I gave you this game almost five years ago now, and it’s been rotting away. It’s a shame the game itself isn’t very good, but I’m glad you managed to get the review written up. Eventually.

WINNER Witcher 3: Blood & Wine [PS4] Overdrive

You’ve got some typos in there. There’s a misplaced semicolon early in and the odd line like this one: There are one large city,. Are there, Robert? Are there?

Other than that, you should be really proud of this review. It’s not OD long but somehow manages to convey not only the strength of the expansion, but the amount of mileage and enjoyment you’ve managed to get out of the entire franchise. There’s a decent chance you’ve delved a bit too deeply into the expansion’s main plot -- perhaps the misunderstood villain twist would have been better discovered by the gamer without prior explanation? -- but your explanation going further than just the game's lore was a subtle touch. Really good work, you.

For us. For them. For you.

Thanks for the placement and words, EmP. I didn't realize this game was so "fondly" remembered by so many members on this site until I submitted the review; the amount of reviews, negative ones, that were already there, OD's reply, and your comments here have been the highlight of me having to suffer playing through it. I recently picked up the second game used at a store (they had about six copies), but after this experience and a quick read through the manual, I'm gonna pass on it for now...

Congrats on Masters' second placement and OD for taking the RotW.

I head spaceshit noises.

I was actually hoping for one possibly last go with the Steam roulette.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Thanks for the win and commentary. Now, I'm off to correct typos, I guess!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Thanks for the kind words, Emp, and the not-so-kind ones as well. I swore I replied to this, but I see I didn't and I don't wanna be 'that guy.'

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!