Forums > Submission Feedback > EmP's The Cat Lady review

I wonder if anyone has taken the time to really read this? Some really arresting turns of phrase here. The opening is especially evocative. I think you hit the nail on the head with that, "captivatingly ugly" description.

I think you missed a word here:

"She’ll have harden to begin with, recoil in fear and shock..."

Also, the penultimate paragraph ends so perfectly, with "It slowly bends her to the light" that it makes the final bit after the screenshot feel like a redundant afterthought. Something to bear in mind.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

That was where I ended on the first draft, but it didn't feel like an ending to me, so I just kept going a bit. I liked about half of the tacked on conclusion. The first half feels like a bit of a word soup.

I'm going to take your advice and revert back -- thanks Marc; appreciate the kind words.

For us. For them. For you.