Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW: July 15-21 -- "The Substitute" or "Jason Wants His Props"

Jason approached me yesterday, and said verbatim: "Look, I don't want to risk this holdover shit -- especially not with TWO of my masterpieces in the running. So sub in for me. Time to start stacking these wins."

I appreciated his plight, and so here I am. There are only four reviews up for discussion. Since we've already established that two of them are by Venter, we only have three unique authors. The good news is, that means less work for me. The bad news is, while everyone gets a prize, one person gets the dreaded third place non-prize. Apologies in advance, then.

THIRD PLACE

Overdrive's Borderlands 2

In a way, Rob had the most difficult assignment, because Borderlands 2 was a phenomenon when it first came out, but that was ages ago now. How to explain that without eliciting too many, "yes, yes, we all know that, who cares" responses from readers? I think OD did a good job easing complete newcomers into the Borderlands world in a succinct enough way that those with at least some experience with the first game don't tune out. He ramped up the enthusiasm to address how much the experience improved from 1 to 2 -- now both noobs and BL1 vets, surely the only audiences that matter here -- were both satisfyingly attended to. And someone who has played both games already (like me), can definitely enjoy reminiscing in step with the energetic rundown Rob gives us. The review does feel like it goes on longer than it needs to, and it loses steam as such, but it's a fun read that doesn't deserve this third place by default distinction. It would beat a ton of reviews, we just didn't have the volume this week.

SECOND PLACE

Emp's Cultist Simulator

I already shared with Emp what I thought of his review in a Steam chat as well as on the forum with an unsolicited feedback topic (that was before I knew I would be saddled with this most outrageous favour for Venter). Emp's reviews are always clever and always snarky and always bandy about some trememdous turns of phrase and at least a few lines featuring remarkably evocative descriptions. At his best, Emp manages to weave the snark and cleverness and powerful lines and imagery so that they go down easy. This is a good review, but it isn't his best work, and it's only because the cocktail feels a bit thick: there's a lot to parse in a given passage and so the flow isn't what it could otherwise be. Still, Emp remains the obscure/indie hero we don't want deserve, covering oddities that don't lend themselves to easy coverage.

REVIEW OF THE WEEK

Venter's Senran Kagura: Peach Ball

Jason had the easiest task here, no doubt. OD had to cover the over-covered classic, Emp covered weirdness. Jason covered boobs. It's not fair, I know. But the subject matter didn't win him the prize; his writing here is immensely readable, and Venter's 'thing' has always been balancing injecting some personality without it seeming forced, and he looks to have nailed that here, giving us one of his funnier opening hooks, and he holds that line between matter-of-factly and plainly offering info and being 'entertaining' all the way through. Just as I felt the review was overstaying its welcome, he wrapped it up. It's one of the more fun reviews I've read in awhile, the kind that you'd read even if you're not that interested in the game and don't have a contest to judge. Plus, boobs.



Kudos all, until next time.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

That's not exactly a verbatim quote, but thank you so much for handling this topic for me! As noted, all reviews in the running this week were terrific, any one of them likely capable of taking the win in any other week, so I know putting the topic together can't have been easy despite the diminished volume. Thanks again for getting it done--and quickly--and thanks to all who contributed in an admittedly lean week!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

I liked that review, but I'm kinda glad I did away with an early intro idea based around the fact that every time I played that game, I would get a flood of IMs from Marc bemoaning the fact I was playing that "awful looking indie nonsense again"

Thanks for the kind words that talk mainly about other good reviews I may have written at some point (EmP peaked in 2006 with BioHazard Battle...). Props to the others who showed up this week.

For us. For them. For you.

Thanks for the comments, Marc. I found myself with an unexpected summer cold this week, and I was so slow-witted yesterday when I read this thread that even though you stated that you were a sub and you were subbing so as to allow Jason's reviews to be eligible, it still took way too long for me to figure out there was a reason I was third and not second. I knew Jason had two reviews and it was his week, so I just figured it was me vs. EmP and was completely thrown by his presence for a couple minutes.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

I wasn't involved this week, but kudos on getting this one out quickly (unlike me)!

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Yikes.

All those flavours, Emp, and you chose salt...

Rob, I apologize for appearing to collude with Venter to push you down a spot. :(

It's occurred to me that this very selfish move by Venter has angered everyone else involved!

Even Joe's comment can be read a certain way: "I wasn't involved this week, BUT IF I HAD BEEN...! There'd be hell to pay for this bait and switch!"

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

Did it come across that way? I guess my ability to have seen that was shocked into submission by actual evidence of you doing something.

No. No, you're right. I see it now!

For us. For them. For you.