Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW // 1st July – 7th July // Hailing from Parts Unknown

Now with 100% more Rob-inspired side rambles!

Shantae and the Pirate's Curse [PC] Germ

Germ makes a welcome return (and a fun humblebrag about how he now has that whole Koren lingo down pat). Germ’s review is a breezy look at one of the more popular platformer/metroidvania games out there, and does skimp on the details. Perhaps some examples would have helped when you talk about certain aspects of the game? One line that does stand out is when you talk about how well the game teases you with out-of-reach treasures you need to return for later in the game with new abilities. It cements the game’s metroidvania tint without spelling it out.

SIDE RAMBLE: Just this weekend, I decided it was time to give this whole Shantae thing a whirl -- perhaps that is the fault of this review? It’s been in my steam pile forever, so I loaded it up, and got about an hour in before the dreaded IMs started to arrive

MASTERS: Wow, Shantae, huh? Fun series. Certainly not the misery simulators you often bore us all with.
MASTERS: Trust you to pick the very worst in the series, though. Maybe you just don’t like enjoying yourself.
MASTERS: You gloomy Limey buffon!

Marc Golding -- the only thing more predictable than his insults is his barren review release schedule.



THIRD Kingdom Hearts: The Story So Far (PS4) Overdrive Pickhut

Rob starts off his review by suggesting that the reasoning behind this compilation of Kingdom Hearts games is bizarre. He then goes on to list a bunch of reasons why its existence makes perfect sense. I suspect he’s messing with my head again, hiding a puzzle within an enigma within a riddle. Cut that out.

Still, the first few paragraphs that plough through the insanity of Squenix’s scattershot approach to all things Kingdom Hearts does a great job is trying to find some order among the chaos. Dude, you set yourself a hell of a hill to climb by taking not only a compilation title, but one where you’ll have to try and offer a summary from a series of barely intertwining plotlines that made the Metal Gear series sometimes read like The Hungry Caterpillar. It’s to your credit that you largely come out the other side intact by meticulously working through each entry and emerging out the other side with some sanity intact.

Side Ramble; I have played and beaten exactly one Kingdom Hearts game; the very first. I wrote a FAQ about where to find all the hidden symbol things I now forget the name of that’s hosted on GFAQS and, to this day, receive about an e-mail a month demanding I update it with screenshots to help whiny strugglers even more. I use that to justify the fact that I’ve started a million FAQS over the years and have completed maybe two.

SECOND WWF Wrestlemania Challenge (NES) Joe

Joe returns to his go-to series when trying to get tricky W out of the way. Could have at least struck off a 32X version. Grumble.

I guess doing them in order has some obvious merits. Linking to your review of the previous games allows your slight praise a better foundation to stand upon. It is an improvement in more or less every way, but that alone isn’t enough to make it a good game. With so little to build up, you do a great job in tearing things down instead. Ginger Rick Rude was a bit insider, but I’m not sure non pro wrestling folk are going to log in to laugh about a near thirty year old game at this point, anyway. More universal is how you shoot down the parts of the game that go unexplained or make little sense, like scoring a pinfall or the bizarre path to titleship glory. It’s a fun bash review, but doesn;t go over the top and, thus remains fair.

The most awkward line, though: “Right as the game boots up, you hear some wonderful music and think, "Is that David Wise? Oh, thank God!"”. I remain supremely confident that I would think that never.

Side Ramble: In keeping my pretentious indie guy roots in check, the only pro wrestling I consume is the occasional NJPW, ROH or NXT taping. Ciampa/Gargano more or less drug me, kicking and screaming, into resurrecting the remnants of my interest in that regard. I can still recite, however, word for word, the ridiculous Ultimate Warrior promo from Wrestlemania VII. Angry snort grunt included.

WIN Super Mario Maker 2 (Switch) Jason

There’s something so Jason Venter about refusing to start building your own levels -- the entire point of the game, some might argue -- until you’ve ploughed through 12 hours of pre-made stages and checked that invisible box inside your head off. Then, and only then, do you work through the level beuilder’s tutorial. I imagine you read every page of the user’s manual before you so much as plug in your brand new slow cooker.

I think this could have been tricky review to pull off, but it was handled very well, mainly by the good use of making it almost anecdotal. Though I doubt many with share your patience before diving in to level creation, the step-by-step story of your progression allows you to linger on each of the game’s features. It’s a very clever and effective way to review a game which perhaps is mostly not really a game at all. Mostly.

Side ramble: Remember also that those levels are just the tasty side dish you can enjoy when you're not busy with the main course.
Again, that's something you can bake into a course of your own

I know what you’re doing, and I will not rise to it.

For us. For them. For you.

I imagine you read every page of the user’s manual before you so much as plug in your brand new slow cooker.

Recently, I bought an Instapot on sale, which is a slow cooker that is also able to cook things more quickly when the need arises. I have looked through the manual, but so far haven't plugged it in to try cooking anything. So I guess I resemble this remark.

Thanks for the win. I haven't had one in a while, so it feels especially good. Thanks also and congratulations to all who participated to make this another week of great reviews!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

I didn't read Jason's review, but I did search for "mixed bag" hoping he'd taken this rare second opportunity to write the sentence "the graphics are a mixed bag" and have it mean something, like I suggested when he reviewed Super Mario Maker for the Wii U.

I can avoid death by not having a life.

Thanks for the placement. I guess what I was trying to get at with my introduction is that, in the grand scheme of things, the existence of this compilation is amusing because it's nothing more than the two discs that made up two other compilations stuck in one package AND an updated version of this that includes KH III came out around when that game was released early this year. Making it a compilation that worked for me, as someone who'd only played one game in the series, but of limited worth for the public at large, I'd say.

And I know what you mean about FAQs. I've completed two in my life (early in the GFaqs days before I decided that reviewing was more up my alley than meticulously charting everything in a game). And I still occasionally get emails telling me about some small thing I missed (like one town's equipment shop inventory changing late in the game or something like that) and all I really can do is ignore them because I wouldn't even know where to start as far as updating them goes and have no desire to take the time to do so.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Actually, yes I have said that before. I've recognized David Wise's work in numerous games, and I'm always glad to hear it. He has a way of taking the edge off of shite games (see also: Beetlejuice).

As for the 32X game, I do want to do that one eventually, as I have played the Genesis version before (and am therefore somewhat familiar with it). I'm not necessarily doing them in order; I just wanted to tackle all four NES WWF games. I'll probably hammer out a review for Steel Cage Challenge at some point, then finish with King of the Ring.

But thank you for the critique and placement!

As for my wrestling, I don't like WWE much, though I do like its wrestlers. I still kinda follow it via Wikipedia results and the occasional watch, only because I'm interested to see where they will go as a business. They've hit a really weird time where the quality of their product is in the tank, but they continue to make record profits. Meanwhile, ticket sales, PPV buys and ratings are at all-time lows.

I've been watching AEW lately, and I quite like their product more. I want to get into NJPW and ROH, but I feel lost watching a show.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

It's really awesome that you do these topics every week. Thanks for the feedback.

Finally! A signature!