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Forums > Contributor Zone > Review of the Week April 1 - 7: The Elephant in the Forum

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Author: JoeTheDestroyer (Mod)
Posted: April 11, 2019 (01:37 AM)
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Three reviews sit before me. I-


*checks holdover thread*

*checks fridge*

*checks sock drawer*

*checks outside house*

*drives to work, checks locker*

Alright, three reviews. Let's keep this short and sweet. I've got some reviews to write (Sekiro, mainly).

Third Place
Hasty - Postal 2

So, this was a pretty long review. But you know what? It didn't feel long. It's decently organized and flows nicely, making it a very easy read despite its length. I liked all of your bits about the plot, and especially how you handled the storyline piece by piece without spoiling anything. You do chime in at the very end with the music, which is a pitfall all of us fall into. Ultimately, this is a well written review with a few minor kinks ("These portals are form a passageway..." for instance) that are mostly easy to iron out.

Second Place
Pick - Superhot

Your description is top notch. None of the"this game functions like this" jazz, instead giving us a slice of the action and letting us know that's how it goes in the Superhot world. The scenarios you describe are similarly interesting, and serve as good examples. You do a great job balancing your crits in this, too, which is hard to pull off. The game sounds exhilarating, but then it just ends. Poof. There's a depressing dearth of solid content, and you communicate that well. I hear a Superhot 2 is in the works, so hopefully the devs address the game's brevity.

Masters - Eroico

You know how awkward this is for me? I don't touch games with rape in them with a sixty foot pole. Granted, this game isn't exactly Rapelay or that canceled Steam horror game Rape Day. As you said in the comments, this is more about the player's desire to be dominated than it is about the player taking the role of a predator and... I think you get the picture.

You handle everything marvelously in this review. You address the elephant in the room with caution and care, you talk about the game's mechanics properly, and you don't give the title a "get out of criticism free" card because it's a porn game. I really can't think of much more to say except that this review accomplishes its very difficult mission. Congrats!


The end.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

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Author: Masters (Mod)
Posted: April 11, 2019 (07:24 AM)
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Thanks for doing the topic Joe, and for the win. I haven't read Pick's review yet, but I liked Hasty's Portal 2 review -- and I generally don't love long ones. Hopefully, we have more volume this week.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

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Author: pickhut
Posted: April 11, 2019 (02:27 PM)
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Small week, but congrats to Masters for nabbing the RotW and to hasty for putting up a fight for who gets what placement!

Glad you enjoyed reading the review, Joe. Yeah, the Superhot sequel/expansion/whatever-they're-gonna-call-it-when-it's-released has been in early access for quite some time now. I'll wait for it to be finished to play, since I'm not fond of the concept of buying unfinished games... The devs have said it's gonna be procedural compared to the linearity of the first game, which I have mixed feelings about, BUT at least that serves to add some variety to the concept. Hopefully the finished product is solid.

I head spaceshit noises.

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Author: hastypixels
Posted: April 14, 2019 (12:06 PM)
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Aw dang, I thought I had the errors pretty well ironed out, but there's no way I'm using OpenOffice's grammar checker. What's the fun of writing with an individual personality, otherwise? I can do writing for clarity... but case in point, I choose to wing it. That's what creative writing is about.

Grammarly all but died in a fire, come to think of it. I tried it, and it felt like a critic. "You're doing it wrong", no freakin' thanks. Anyway...

That's more or less how I get through with longer reviews: Storytelling. And I've gotten to be rather adept at laying interesting information out without diffusing the curiosity, which is how I think it should be done.

I'm happy to place, but also pleased to be contributing. Master's review of Eroico caught me off guard, even though I know HG isn't exactly shy - it's just not my turf. I think, given the subject matter, he did a fine job and deserves first place. Pickhut's review was also top notch and captured what little is enthralling about such a narrow scope title. I own a copy, but so help me if I'll put myself through the stress of playing it.

So, thank you, Joe.

P.S. Joe: Your listing for my review in your post reads "Postal 2" which is one of those games I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, ironically enough.

I was always a grizzled old soul.

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