Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW: March 18-24, 2019 -- LANGRISSERMOBILELANGRISSERMOBILELANGRISSERMOBILE

So, we have six reviews to go through, submitted by five different writers. It is six reviews because, as always, we have a rule where a writer's own reviews aren't eligible, meaning that my eligible review isn't eligible for this week. Unlike always, my eligible review has been eligible for multiple weeks for this prestigious weekly honor. But after not being eligible its first week, as that was my LAST RotW, it got either forgotten or not thought about for three straight weeks, leaving it laying alone and covered with dust and cobwebs in the corner of the "TO BE FUCKING JUDGED, DUDES!!!!!" bin. So, it is my duty to ensure this doesn't happen again. Which means, as anyone reading this has likely already guessed, I will mention my review for Langrisser Mobile so often and frequently that over these next few paragraphs it will go from funny to snide to me being an outright jerk to being an obnoxious bore to swinging back around to being funny to winding up so obnoxious that some of you start a petition to get Jason to remove me from anything I might do at this site just so you don't have to deal with anything like this ever again.

Just LANGRISSER remember MOBILE that LANGRISSER it MOBILE didn't LANGRISSER have MOBILE to LANGRISSER be MOBILE this LANGRISSER way MOBILE! And don't worry, I'm not going to insert part of that game's title between every word of this RotW -- that is too annoying for me to do for more than that one sentence. Keep forgetting me, that WILL change.

Joe had two reviews. Usually when a person has one review placing, the other doesn't. This is because there is a rule that states only one placement for contender. Much like there is a rule stating that if a person's review falls on their RotW (like my Langrisser Mobile), it SHOULD get judged the next week… But don't worry! I'm here to follow ALL the rules this week! Your review of Roarr! is the "other one". Both were really good, but I just like CSH a little bit better. But this was a fun, restrained bash review. You get a couple good lines in, such as comparing the music to an operator putting you on hold AND mocking how the game is called Roarr! and your dinosaur's sound effect for that is NOT a roar. But mostly, you went pure professional, stating the many things this game does wrong, with particular emphasis on how mind-numbingly repetitive this thing seems to be.

pedrorojas review of Love Hero is something that I have to say I was not expecting to read. I mean, I can't even think of a Langrisser Mobile reference that remotely fits that I can throw into anything I'd say here. Other than lazily tossing its name into a sentence. Which I did. At first, this is pretty straight-forward. You love this site, probably because of great, hard-hitting reviews for games such as Langrisser Mobile, which you wish would get judged almost as much as I do (there we go, I knew I could do it!) and you gave a nice, simple description of the mechanics, what you get for completing levels and the graphics and music. And then we go into your guesses as to what the non-existent story might be about and all the allusions to sex that may or may not be in the game. As a person who has no knowledge of this game, I gotta say my brain started melting around this point because everything I know about this game came from this review and so "this stuff might be here; at least that's my theory!" things that I can't personally see kind of fall short because I obviously have no theories (or knowledge of any other than yours). Still, an interesting review of something I've never heard of before.

CptRetroBlue comes with a surprise, as he reviews a game I didn't even know existed, as The Goonies never was actually released for the American NES, apparently. Much like the majority of Langrisser games before that Langrisser Mobile one that I reviewed had not been released in America, either. I would call this a perfectly acceptable review of this game. It gives a good description of what you do, how certain enemies are troublesome and how the soundtrack adds a touch of nostalgia to the proceedings. I'd say this review was very close to placing. Mainly because it did take me a moment or two to decide what review would get third, as both had their fair share of merit for that spot.

THIRD PLACE

hastypixels' Bomberman IIt (NES)

If one wanted to, one could compare my Langrisser Mobile review to yours in an inverted sort of way. I had to struggle with reviewing a game in a series that mostly hasn't been released in America and, as a result, I had very little familiarity with prior games. Meanwhile, you're working through a series of games where you seem very familiar with, which can lead to an issue with "under-explaining" certain aspects. If anything holds this review back, I'd say it is that. While I never have played a Bomberman game, I know a bit about the nuts-and-bolts of it, but as the review went on, I found that some parts of it could maybe use a bit of fleshing out. Like the part about how the time limit gets to be an issue later in the game -- that's the sort of thing that might be explained a bit deeper so that a novice player knows how that impacts a person. Do you have to beeline for an exit? Do you lose all margin for error? How much time do you go from to get to this point and how complex are the stages to make that time reduction more or less noticeable than it could be? Maybe this isn't important enough to really be expanded upon so much, but I do know those old NES games can be real bears when it comes to harsh time limits, so when I hear that time can become a factor in one, that's what I want to know. Still, I enjoyed reading this review and it did let me know a lot about another game I wasn't familiar with.

---

SECOND PLACE

darketernal's One Piece: Grand Adventure (PS2)

So, with One Piece, we have an entertainment series with a lot of cool characters and memorable story-telling, but very little (if any) of this winds up in a particular video game based on it. You know that that reminds me of? LANGRISSER MOBILE -- a mobile game based on a long-standing strategy RPG series with a certain amount of depth to its story-telling and a lot of popular characters…all of which gets reduced to lowest possible denominators to make a quick-moving free-to-play. You do a good job here of making this seem like an interesting game. Characters with their own battle strengths and weaknesses? The ability to win battles to improve and enhance those characters? Good stuff. Unfortunately, the game has limited appeal. It's based on an inferior version of the game's story and, as you emphatically pointed out, the localizers and voice-actors decided to make everyone a one-note stereotype. With how you opened by asserting you were a fan of the anime, it's easy to see why this game fell way short for you.

---

REVIEW OF THE WEEK (aka: Overdrive Place)

Joe's Cosmic Star Heroine (PC)

For my third straight RotW, you wind up with the winner. Much like how for three straight non-Rob RotWs, my Langrisser Mobile review has not been mentioned. What a coincidence! And no, I didn't plan things this way, it just happens. Serendipity and all that. Anyway, this is a good review for a game that approaches greatness, but doesn't quite reach it. I liked how you started with something that is great to show just how good things can be before going on to tell how the story-telling isn't that great for large chunks of the game, leading you to do a lot of tedious activities. And then letting us know that the game never truly gets tedious because Zeboyd's cool battle system is still present to at least make battles enjoyable. This was a really good and focused review where you did a great job of making your points.
---

And now I wait to see if my occasional subtle reminder convinces others to remember my Langrisser Mobile review next week. FINGERS CROSSED!!!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Thanks for the placement there, Langrisser Mobile Fellow. As far as spelling goes Chrome doesn't like it, but who cares what Chrome likes? Chrome can jump off the ol' defective microchip.

I wonder if third place would warrant something Chrome?

Oh, pardon me, I just needed a palette cleanser, but take my advice, don't lick the multi-coloured G, kids. That's not candy.

---

In my usual manner... it's funny you should talk about skimping on details. I had a feeling it was going to come up. I'm about to submit two more reviews of Bomberman games, so I'll be sure not to gloss over the player impacting details. Rather, I'll be editing that stuff in...

Thanks again.

Look, the only time I'm not wrong is when I'm right, so...

Thank you for the win, and again I'm sorry about the Langrisser Mobile review. I hope it gets remembered during the next ROTW cycle.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.