Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW // 27th August – 2nd September // Yakuza 0 Break Edition

There was a Yakuza 0 has taken all my free time rant here once. It’s irrelevant, and it’s gone now.

So, other people’s review listed in an order of preference with added blurb. I can do that. Let’s do that.

Rob talks about more Kemco games like an absolute trooper. Marc and I were talking about writing multiple reviews for an ongoing series and how we keep returning to various franchises like R-Type, or Silent Hill or Broken Sword. But we kept coming back to these things because we loved talking about them. Poor Rob doesn't seem to have this connection with the Kemco stuff, but he just keeps going. I made some throwaway joke about how he scores a tally into his wall every time he ticks one down. I’m starting to feel like it might actually be a thing. Is this a cry for help?

This isn’t going to be one of his best ones, and the game seemed to ensure that it was never going to be. It’s mired in ordinariness, which Rob does well to chronicle. Valient work, but maybe it’s time for a break? There’s some 32X titles I could recommend


Freeman takes an interesting angle going into his Halo review, building the game around a need to be a console FPS rather than a PC one. It’s a good read and brings up a lot of good talking points, but Halo was always going to be a console FPS alongside the PC. It was even touted as a Dreamcast title at one point, just to drive home just how long its development hell really was. Think it was still a third person shooter at that point, though; who can even tell anymore.

I liked the review, even it it was a bit unorthodox and works better as a companion piece of sorts. There’s a lot of nostalgia and some well thought out theory involved. A thoughtful addition to our Halo library.



THIRD Alone K.W. [PC] by Joe


Joe has a go at a $1 horror game and, to no one’s surprise, it’s rubbish. More so now he’s dropped the ‘plot’ and we can all be glad he decided to play it and we didn’t. From invisible obstacles to nonsicale plots to the big bad monster not actually doing anything at all, it sounds like the shovelware nonsense Steam is quickly flooded with. You’ve taken one for the team by shuffling it off everyone’s list.

The review works like a diary of awfulness, jotting down the myriad complaints as it goes. It’s probably the best way to go about this short, buggy games. Posing yourself a question to transition into a new point is a bit of a cop-out, but you do as well as you can with the material you have.

SECOND Arcade Archives: Renegade [PS4] by Pickhut


Renegade didn’t have a huge arcade presence here; I don’t remember seeing a single cabinet, in fact. My memories of this game came from the the brave Spectrum 128k home release that I played the hell out of. What relevance does this have? I guess I’m saying I still see this game through the rose tinted specs, just in a slightly different way.

In what seems to be this week’s trend, Pick then takes those fond memories and starts telling us that they don't really stack up anymore. Some of these points bought back long forgotten memories, like vietnam flashbacks, of desperately chasing down random thugs because they kept skipping back and I only had seconds left to pummel them in before I ate a game over. It was probably telling that this game barely got a look in once I obtained Double Dragon for the same system and bid farewell to sunlight.

Better taken to task is how the the re-release handles the arcade implemented issues that were a part of its era. Games then were supposed to be somewhat cheap because they wanted you to keep feeding it money into their greedy cabinets. But those things can be easy supplemented for home releases and yet, here, haven’t been. Though I will never say “bwha?” at an options menu (NEVER!) you were right to draw focus to the lacking options available to the player. Hard reset save states are something I’ve seen used heavily in strategy games to stop player save scumming their way through battles; I don;t think I’ve seen them used in side scrolling brawlers before. Strange stuffs.

WIN Quackshot Starring Donald Duck [GEN] Masters


So, it was a week or so back. I was ploughing through Yakuza 0 innocently enough, not bothering anyone. Suddenly, a wild Masters appeared. “Have you seen Venter’s review on Quackshot?”, he scoffed, with not a care for my blossoming real estate portfolio being attacked by Japanese gangsters. “I’ll show him!”

Why is this relevant? Because people need to know what a menace Marc is Because I think a lot of people are going to have a similar reaction to a lukewarm review of Quackshot, such is the regard many hold it in. Marc references this in his review; it’s the right angle to take because it puts him in the shoes of the majority. And then argues against the assumption we all unquestioningly adopted. Quackshot was great. Was it though?

Like Jason before him, Marc goes on to point out that it probably was once upon a time, but it has not aged particularly well. I think what really sold this review to me though is that it did it from a relatable standpoint; I’m just like you, person openly scoffing at my lowball review. I remember and wanted the game to be better as well. Screw that Jason Venter even though he might actually be right on this one.

Looks like it’s up to me to provide the site’s Donald praise review after all.

For us. For them. For you.

Oh man. I should have submitted my AA Double Dragon review for that week, too; I could have doubly ruined your fond memories!

But yeah, Renegade takes the cheapness to a whole extra level, especially for an 80s arcade title. However, I have yet to experience an arcade game as cheap as Baraduke II. A hectic action/shoot'em up (?) game where a single touch from anything ends the game. Play it! I dare you!

Thanks for the second placement, and congrats to Masters on getting RotW!

I head spaceshit noises.

You know, I'm kind of thinking the same thing about Kemco and I. It wasn't that game that did it, but right now, after playing Asdivine Menace, I'm really thinking I'd be better off taking a break from them. Menace is a direct sequel to Asdivine Dios and is basically the same game with more (smaller) worlds to explore and three new sidekicks for Izayoi. The only real difference is that you can level up skills, so they get more powerful (and broken) as the game goes on. It's not a bad game, but it's so damn derivative that if not for it being fun to power up skills in that RPG-grinding sort of way, I'd have quit it a while ago.

Right now, I have a system of playing one 360 game, one on another system, one ROM and one Kemco game. I'm thinking Kemco will get folded into the "another system" group where I play one from time to time, but never really put the same focus on them that I have for the last three years.

It was fun having my own little niche, since there's only really one other reviewer out there (at Touch Arcade) who has tackled their games like I have. But when THIS is your niche, you're up for a lot of "meh, it exists" tedium. That game existed. This game exists. The next one will exist. I think I want something a bit more than that...

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Thanks for taking time out of your busy week of drinking scotch and playing Yakuza for hours on end to get out a fairly timely RotW. (And thanks for the breakdown and win!) I thought the Nogalious review was going to get more love than Quackshot, so that makes your take doubly interesting. I didn't get to read all the reviews, but I read Pick's and liked it -- congrats to him as well.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

Rob: I don't think it's a coincidence that you won RotW with your only review that wasn't for a Kemco game in the last who knows how long.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

You are probably right. The Kemco Khallenge was a fun diversion at the beginning, but after a couple dozen or so of their games, they do quickly get to the "blend together" phase, which probably makes taking some sort of hiatus from regularly playing them good for both my review-writing and sanity.

I am looking forward to the eventual Asdivine Menace review when I finish that one before starting my hiatus. It might wind up being my most "phone it in" review ever! Because if that's what they're doing with their games, I might as well when writing about them!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

D'oh! I meant to comment on this thread last week, but my irresponsible nature Dragon Age: Inquisition stopped me. Thank you for placement. I'm sorry you nixed the Yakuza 0 rant. I do dig a good growl, both reading and writing them.

I will be doing more shovelware horror, regardless of the more rote reviews I put out. Grizzly Valley should me coming up next, followed eventually by Red Lake and Cry of Fear (which I hear is actually good).

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

I got half way through Cry of Fear. Has some good ideas (and a great camera themed opening) but the rest of the game felt kind of aimless. Should be a step above the others, though.

For us. For them. For you.