Patreon button  Steam curated reviews  Facebook button  Twitter button 
3DS | AND | IOS | PC | PS4 | NS | VITA | WIIU | XB1 | All

Forums > Contributor Zone > AlphaOlympics 2018

Add a new post within this thread...

board icon
Author: EmP (Mod)
Posted: July 06, 2018 (09:33 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

“You know what we should do with this increased traffic? We should hold one of those Alphaolympic tourneys we used to do! It keeps me awake at night, laying there, thinking about my failures to win one of those things. It’s why I drink so much. EmP’s won it twice - he’s not awkwardly shoehorned that into anything for a while. Wonder if he’s forgotten?” -- Rob “Rob” Robington. 2017.

“You know what we shouldn’t do with this increased traffic? We should avoid holding one of those Alphaolympic tourneys we used to do! It keeps me awake at night, laying there, thinking about my failures to win one of those things. It’s why I drink so much. EmP’s won it three times now - he’s not awkwardly shoehorned that into anything for a while. Let’s ban the tourney so he can never reach four” -- Rob “Rob” Robington. 2018.

Yeah. So. We’re doing this thing again.

Here’s the rub: I will supply a numeric list somewhere in the depths of this very topic. You, the intrigued reader and/or Rob trying to fashion a witty retort, pick one of these numbers and, by the power of a random number generator, you are blessed with a letter of the alphabet. You must then review a game starting with that letter. Get yourself a T? Hit up Tomb Raider. Or Thunder Force III. Or Time Crisis. Get a Y. Good work; this thing’s been won twice with Ys reviews, turning a bastard letter in theory into the most successful in tourney history. Get the dreaded #? I’m so sorry; enjoy 007 Racing or 3 Ninjas Strike Back like I had to.

Taking part means you will get your review read by a panel of experts judges and/or Masters two weeks after everyone else, who will leave you ego-shattering feedback on why they’ve scored your review 7/100 and call you a scrub. These scores will then be tallied and the person with the highest score wins.

This topic serves both as an interest gauge and sign up sheet. We’ll also require a judging panel of judges to judge the work, offering judgery comments and judge-like scores. I’m winging this a little, so there’s no deadline in mind, I guess we just see how much of the list of 27 we fill up and close it all down when we’re happy enough at the turn out. Or! We’ll watch this slowly die a painful death, sliding down the forums until it slips from memory where it will be left to die in disgrace. We’ll see which one!

If you (yes, YOU) are interesting in taking part, please state which number you would like to claim. You know what happens then? You’ve just made the list! First come, first serve. Otherwise if you (yes, you again) would like to hold the fragile self worth of a website’s gaggle of writers in the palm of your hand to crush as you chose, then declare your interest in a judge spot. All will be recorded. None will forget the crimes you commit.

In an attempt to give Rob a fair chance of actually winning this thing, I’ll mark myself down to judge unless there’s a weird surge if judging requests. I may also try to get last year’s guest judge back because she still hasn't returned my bloody DS and should suffer

Is that it? I’m out of practise. I think that’s it? Let’s go with that. Joyous whooping or confused mumblings to follow.

DEADLINE: TBA

JUDGES:
Glorious Ruler EmP
God Emperor Masters

PARTICIPANTS:
01 - Jerec
02
03
04
05
06
07
08
09
10
11
12
13 - WQ
14
15 - Will
16
17
18
19
20 - Freeman
21
22 - Joe
23
24
25
26
27 - OD


For us. For them. For you.

board icon
Author: WilltheGreat
Posted: July 06, 2018 (05:45 PM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Give me lucky 15.

board icon
Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: July 06, 2018 (06:02 PM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Since it's missing a number, I'll take 13 just for kicks. If things look like I won't be able to write a review (which they probably will, as I never have time to write anymore...), I'll throw my name in the judging pool. Assuming that's allowed.

Edit: Are we doing away with the rule that if you get T you can't review a game starting with "The"? Just want to clear that up for the new folks.


[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

board icon
Author: JoeTheDestroyer (Mod)
Posted: July 06, 2018 (06:22 PM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

22, please.


The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

board icon
Author: jerec
Posted: July 07, 2018 (01:25 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

1.

Also, EmP. That intro... I've never seen someone type so many words, yet say so little.


I can avoid death by not having a life.

board icon
Author: EmP (Mod)
Posted: July 07, 2018 (09:20 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

WQ: if a person doesn't know that The doesn't count towards a T, then they don't deserve even the time it would take me to belittle them.

Jerec: You don't know the half of it. It's just last year's topic copy and pasted and edited slightly to make fun of Rob more.


For us. For them. For you.

board icon
Author: Follow_Freeman
Posted: July 07, 2018 (07:33 PM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Eleventy-twelve. Or 20.


"I can't afford to hate anyone. I don't have that kind of time." ~Akira Kurosawa

https://letterboxd.com/Follow_Freeman/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fezc5MlaoGw

board icon
Author: overdrive (Mod)
Posted: July 08, 2018 (07:29 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

27!

And out of the goodness of my heart, I'll let it slide, the horrible things EmP insinuated that I said. And then after I win this year, there will never be another silent day from me. Everyone will hear about my glorious victory every single day.


I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

board icon
Author: sashanan
Posted: July 09, 2018 (04:57 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

I'll take what's behind door number 03!


"Deep in the earth I faced a fight that I could never win. The blameless and the base destroyed, and all that might have been. -- GK"

Policies/Ethics | Contact | Advertise | Sponsor Guide | Links

eXTReMe Tracker
© 1998-2018 HonestGamers
None of the material contained within this site may be reproduced in any conceivable fashion without permission from the author(s) of said material. This site is not sponsored or endorsed by Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, or any other such party. Opinions expressed on this site do not necessarily represent the opinion of site staff or sponsors. Staff and freelance reviews are typically written based on time spent with a retail review copy or review key for the game that is provided by its publisher.