Forums > Submission Feedback > Follow_Freeman's Hyper Light Drifter review

This is one of your stronger reviews, though your last paragraph begins with "There is no denying that, objectively speaking..." which is false. Anyone can deny the claim the sentence's remainder makes, because it is subjective. You could chop those words and the sentence would still read strikingly, but without the contentious tone that detracts from its message.

Elsewhere, your links to the other sites/stories are distracting, because they are too extended. There's a reason most sites just choose a couple of words, and it's not professional jealousy. They're going with what looks better on the page. For your first external hyperlink, "wrestled with" would be two natural words to use as your link. For the second external hyperlink, "confides the developer" would work. Try it and see if you notice a visual improvement.

As I noted, this is one of your stronger reviews. There were fewer grammatical errors and rough spots, your writing seemed more sure-footed overall, and your enthusiasm for the game shone brightly in several places. I also liked your observation at the start, about how the same ingredients can make dishes of differing substance. It was a nice way to ease the reader into your overall thoughts on the game and its place within the overall genre.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

Thank you, using your advice makes the article look much better know! I went ahead and did some rewording in those two paragraphs as well, and I think the article is better for it.

I might as well link to game's Steam page, as it is on sale at this time.

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