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Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW // 24th July -- 30th July // The Battle of the Vanguards

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Author: EmP (Mod)
Posted: August 04, 2017 (11:20 PM)
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Only the three reviews this week -- bad for the site, good for burn-suffering writer's self-imposed to whittle away what little tim they do have on mini tourney blathering. But all three reviews are from firmly established staffer; some might say those that provide the very backbone of this little site of ours. Today is the battle of Jason, Joe and Rob “Rob” Robbington. No flashy introduction required.




THIRD Bastion [360] by Rob “Rob” Robbington


Rob’s review is long, informative and relatively dry, stating the game’s cause matter of factly in a rather un-Roblike way. I dunno; it’s good to get out of your comfort zone now and then and try to write something in a different style, but there’s a lot of particularly un-Rob-like stiffness running through this review. There’s an uncomfortable repetition of the word ‘game’ right in the open breaths of the introduction, for example.

There; that’s your kicking for taking such glee in reminding me this RotW is late.

It’s a solid review that describes a game I recognise and talks about all the things I deem worthy of mention.


SECOND Link is Strange (because it's for Splatoon 2) [SWH] Jason


Otherwise known as that review where Jason admits he does not care for other people who are only out to ruin his fun.

Still, Jason’s review is functional but suffers more than most from the curse of trying to throw all the leftover crap in at the end in awkward little paragraphs. I also can’t help but feeling that complaining about disconnects and awful teammates in any online game amounts to complaining about the rain being wet. But maybe that’s just the LoL player in me talking.

I’m not writing a lot today, because, really, there’s not been a lot to complain about these reviews, but they’re also so safe there’s nothing to particularly big up either. That’s not a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination. Just doesn’t give me a lot to talk about.

Also not a bad thing.



WIN! Metamorfose S [PC] by Joe


Let’s make fun of a spacing error -- Metamorfose Sboasts

I like the intro of this review. It strives to be descriptive and then dismisses itself as grandeur since lost by the way of genre overkill. MetriodVania has certainly long outgrown itself as a sub-genre niche, and a very popular one at that, kicking out a spawn of indie me-too’s to the extent that you have to believe the bubble’s about to burst.

That’s the review’s highlight, but it’s a clever way to stamp a tone of mediocrity on the game early. You could have wrecked that by overpraising or overbashing, but you avoid that pitfall. So I guess you win.


For us. For them. For you.

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Author: JoeTheDestroyer (Mod)
Posted: August 05, 2017 (12:14 AM)
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Spacing error fixed, and thank you for the victory and the topic!


The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

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Author: honestgamer (Mod)
Posted: August 05, 2017 (12:40 AM)
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The Splatoon review didn't come easily.

I wrote about the single-player stuff first, which at least went reasonably well, and then I penciled in space for the online discussion.

Unfortunately, my Switch wouldn't let me connect to any matches, so I spent most of a day trying to figure out how to fix that with no progress. I decided next to try a wired connection, to change the NAT type. That meant ordering an adaptor online and waiting for it to arrive... which it did, without really fixing anything.

Eventually, I settled on the fix of buying a new router (which I figure will address similar issues the PS4 and Xbox One have given me). Then I had to play the game in a bunch of matches to get a feel for everything, and finally I could write the paragraphs to slap into that section of the review.

It was all a bit of an ordeal, and to be honest, I was relieved the review turned out as well as it did.


"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world

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Author: jerec
Posted: August 05, 2017 (07:56 AM)
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Did Jason review Life is Strange?


I can avoid death by not having a life.

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Author: honestgamer (Mod)
Posted: August 05, 2017 (02:37 PM)
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Nope, I covered Splatoon 2. EmP was probably using a template and just forgot to update the title, if I had to guess.


"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world

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Author: JoeTheDestroyer (Mod)
Posted: August 05, 2017 (07:55 PM)
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I thought he was making an in-joke, so I didn't question it.


The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

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Author: jerec
Posted: August 05, 2017 (08:59 PM)
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I'm glad there's still someone around here that can question EmP.


I can avoid death by not having a life.

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Author: overdrive (Mod)
Posted: August 06, 2017 (02:53 PM)
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I think the reason I had some struggles with this review is part of why I'm working to cut down the number of games I play at once. Sometimes, games just fall through the cracks, so while I'm focusing on this one or that one, one like Bastion just sort of gets played once every few weeks for an hour or so (until the last half-dozen stages, when I ripped through it). So, I had an idea of what I was saying when I reviewed it, but my early memories were pretty foggy just because it had been so long since I'd started it and it took so long before it was anything more than a light diversion.


I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

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