Forums > Submission Feedback > JoeTheDestroyer's Salt and Sanctuary review

So. Let’s address this.

….demolishes the watercraft

Watercraft. Really? Awful. There’s no shortage of better words you could have used rather than this. Boat, ship, craft, vessel, ferry. In the opening paragraphs, there’s some very wooden phrased rolled out. “The prelude described above makes one thing clear:”, “handling the game's combat system should prove a snap” (a snap! No one’s said that since the war!) It’s kind of a shame, because there’s some good imagery going on there in that intro. I get the feeling that maybe you’re trying a little too hard, and it all comes off as forced. For example, I have no idea what a proboscis is. And I never admit to not knowing something? I don’t want to know, either. I’m having a pretty good time making up my own definitions.

But I get it; I really do. Sometimes you find a game that impresses you so much you want to do it justice so you try to drop epic description bombs all over the review. I think things start working much better in the second half of the review. Like the quick bullet-point descriptions. It’s in a much less stiff, more casual tone, which makes it more accessible. There are positives throughout, but I am also going to play the dick card and note this wicked oxymoron: “laid out in an organized, albeit slightly messy manner”

I tried to step out of my comfort zone and obviously dodn't work. Oh well.

And a proboscis is the part of a blood-sucking critter (usually an arthropod) that sucks blood. Think mosquito.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

I said don't tell me!

Everything's ruined.

Anyway, we've all overwritten reviews. Hell, I probably have more overwritten reviews in my backlog than anything else. Breaking your comfort zone is commendable; you can't expect to hit a home run at your first shot at something new.

For us. For them. For you.