Forums > Contributor Zone > Review of the Week - April 18th - 24th

This train just keeps on rolling. For how long? Who knows!

Review of the Week is a reader’s digest of sorts, featuring all the reviews written in a given week, and then judged by a self-important author with delusions of grandeur. That’ll be me today. Only the top three reviews shall be mentioned, in order of relevance. No reviews from the judge will be permissible, and in the event that another writer submits more than one review for the week, only the review the judge deems superior will be included.

The following are words placed strategically in order.

EA Sports UFC 2 [XB1] by Rhody Tobin.

I think we’ve all been here (or, at least, I certainly have) where you’re trying to review a niche genre outside your comfort zone. I’ve had to review two (TWO!) pony raising sims, so it could have been worse. That said, I think you keep an informed tone throughout and any discomfort you might have shown is hard to spot. I probably wouldn’t have even guessed that was a concern if I didn’t have creepy prior knowledge. The main weakness with this piece is that, especially in the first half, the review reads like a list. Like you have a bulletpoint checklist of stuff you had to mention so just bulldozed your way through. Also, this:

The revamped Career mode is a bit of a mixed bag

Food analogy! Minus 10 points for Gryffindor!


Road Runner [NES] by Joseph Shaffer

Despite this:

… ACME deliver vans?

Delivery.

I preferred Road Runner to Vessel. Mainly because the “let’s talk about me!” intro didn’t really go anywhere and the review read a lot better if you started from the second paragraph in and ignored the line about wanting to play the game more from the half-way point. Despite the fact that Road Runner received less praise, I found myself much more interested in your descriptions of the game, and the 8-bit attempt at being faithful to the source material. It’s a little bit remarkable. Especially in the earlier console days, license games were just given a dodgy platforming collect-‘em-up vibe and thrown out to the public, so keeping the chase alive struck me as noteworthy in itself.

It would not have done so, though, without some carefully cultivated examples, and that you keep the balance between what works and what falls flat certainly helps. The highlights are talking about Wile. E’s gadgets and then dissecting in an even manner what works and what doesn’t.

Then the review comes out an end and you realise you’ve not talked about the music yet, which is certainly a talking point, and you jam it in there quick. We all do this. What we don’t all do though is merge our screens together so they look like a weird 3DS panel. Either wrap them in a border or put a space in between them. Or both! I’d do both. Do that.

Dark Souls III [PC] by Mike Suskie

Why aren’t you playing Banner Saga II?

I don’t think there’s a lot I can say about this review. It’s kind of brilliant, and it works on differing levels. I can see how it will show a lot of appeal to returning players, but as someone who’s not played a minute of Dark Souls, I can still see how and why you deem the game as excellent. I remember you wrote about a game in a similar fashion back when RotWing was a thing for a racing game that, thought I had zero interest in the game or the genre, was written so well I felt like an expect vicariously.

I don’t really enjoy being so one-sidedly positive about these things; I’ve a rep to protect. Let’s see… the review is long, but it doesn’t feel that way, so that’s out. Everything’s explained and backed up, so I can’t whine about that. I guess there’s another case to be made for lobbing in the few negatives at the end for wont of somewhere to put them but, like Joe’s, it’s hard to see where else they may live. Spectacular effort/go to hell.

For us. For them. For you.

D'awww. You one-sidedly positive bunny rabbit of a man.

Seriously, though, thanks a lot. Also, I am playing Banner Saga 2! It's just that DS3 came out first and thus gets review priority. Also I just wanted to play that more anyway because I'm a weak man.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

On every screen I've ever viewed my reviews, I've not once seen them as a "3DS panel." But hey, if borders will help...


(Thanks, btw, and congrats to the Suskie and Roto)

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Thems some snazzy borders. I usually make do with just putting a space in between. Admit it; it looks better now.

For us. For them. For you.