Forums > Submission Feedback > Latinnus's Dust: An Elysian Tail review

Hey,

So, I've made a few edits from your original review. I've gone through and tidied up a few spelling errors; I understand English is not your first language, so don't be afraid to use something like an online spellcheck program just to check through a finished review and highlight any errors that might be within.

I think the best advise I can give you is to work more on showing, not telling. You employ literal lists to throw bullet-points at the reader, but more of an impression could be made if you talked about the instances that lead you to these conclusions. The game's too easy; why? Talk about a particular area that you felt let you down by not offering enough challenge. You enjoyed the level construction -- great, but give an example of why you felt it worked so well.

One of the other alterations I've made is the edit out your instances of saying "the game" a lot. Feel free to name drop the game's title in these instances if that's a phrase you see cropping up a lot.

You have a decent foundation for the spine of a review. the next step is to flesh out your reviews so that they show a complete picture rather then point out a few things and ask the reader to blindly take your word for it.

Hope that helps.