Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW - Nov 24 - 30. EmP'd Edition

Back once again, saving the day, helping only with backlogs to increase my ego -- it's a EmP edition of RotW! There's rules attached to these things. Oh yes, we all know the rules: one eligible review one person and all that, but are there any rules about using the intro for these judging as a self-promoting rant? Not yet! Did I mention that I've done the most of these forgotten RotWs? And that mine are the bestest?

As such, I have decided to share my mighty brain words with who I deem to have written my preferred reviews for the dates you can see in the topic header. There was some goods ones. Let's discuss them in greater detail, then we can get back to talking about me.

Third Place
Jason "Nintendo pays my Morgage" Venter
Super Mario 3D 3DS WiiU

In this review, Venter creams over another Nintendo developed title. Please move on.

Yeah, that's not really fair (but it amuses me). The last quarter of 2013 has seen Jason pen some really excellent stuff. This doesn't really rank right up there with them, and I'll get to why shortly, but it's another review where his introduction to himself lends a sense of strength. I love SMB3, says Jason, and this game comes very close to being as good.

Where it loses steam is how it becomes more formulaic as it goes on. Nearing the end of the review, it's suddenly discovered that several things have not been mentioned. Multiplayer? Best talk about that -- bung it in. Controls? They need a mention; that best be the next paragraph. Oh, and a few negatives. Best squeeze them in just before the conclusion. As such, the last bit of this review comes across as a dressed up list, which is a shame.

Second Place
Pick "I've got a brand new Combine Harvester" Hut
Farming Simulator 360

God bless you, Pick.

Pick's deconstruction of why this farming sim is not really a lot of fun isn't afraid to make fun of the subject matter, but concerns itself mainly with pulling apart the game, and why it doesn't work. Really, the review sparks to life when the discussion of the cash-heavy side quests is used, making all the tedious normal work seem obsolete in direct comparison. The discussion about how and why the hard mode doesn't actually present more of a challenge was an especially powerful point made.

But, wait, what's this?!

That's seriously the main objective in a nutshell

A food analogy?! rabblerabblerabblerabblerabble!

Winner
Mike "Suske" Suske
LocoCycle XB1

This could have been quite the stumbling block for a lot of reviewers. The game's bad, so you need to convey how and why it's bad. But what if the game's bad at so many different things on so many different levels? Bring in Suskie, because he completely nails this.

It's not the fair-handed measured bash that we're used to seeing (and I've really enjoyed seeing, despite myself) from the likes of Venter, but its mocking tone lends a new edge. This design is stupid, it says; this is why it's stupid, now let's sneer it. The middle part of this equation is vital; far too many mocking review focus only on the mocking, asking the reader to take the writer's word for it. Not here -- good job.

Also, excellent use of the phrase hamstrung.

For us. For them. For you.

Thanks for doing this, EmP. Clearly my review wasn't as good as I had hoped, since you thought I was reviewing a 3DS game and I was actually reviewing a Wii U game... ;-)

Congrats to Suskie for another excellent review and another win!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

Ha, I probably would have never spotted that. I guess typing up the game title for the hyperlink tricked me. Yes, that's the excuse I'll go with,.

For us. For them. For you.

Thank you very much, EmP! Congrats to Pickhut and Jason for their fine efforts.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Thanks for getting this done, EmP! Congrats to the placers and Suskie!

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Ha! I remember your food analogy complaint and thinking to myself, "Well, I haven't done that recently." Guess I was wrong. Makes me wonder about my other reviews. >_>

Glad you liked the review, especially the part about the stupid money system. Playing that game really gave me a headache, so I figured writing about it would be a bigger pain. It was surprisingly kinda therapeutic, like I was releasing toxic waste from my brain.

Congrats to Suskie for getting RotW with LocoCycle, a truly stupid-sounding game. And to Venter for SM3DW. Really would like to play that game someday.

I head spaceshit noises.