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Forums > Contributor Zone > The Beat 'Em Up Contest 2: Second Fisting

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Author: drella
Posted: September 12, 2008 (07:35 PM)
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The last time we had a beat 'em up contest, The Punisher stole the show while bluberry put himself on the map as Final Fight topped Ninja Baseball Bat Man from beat 'em up master dogma. But that was four long years ago. Times have changed. And I'm apparently the only one entertained by shirtless mayors fighting criminal syndicates with their bare fists anymore. That has to change.

So time for something bluberry is all too familiar with: a second fisting.

The rules are simple: review a beat 'em up between now and Saturday, September 27th 2008 (yes, that soon, suck it up). Multiple entries are allowed per user, so review more than one! Simply put, I think a short contest is in order to keep the pulse of this place going as EmP's summer bracket winds down and more and more guys are eliminated and left on the sidelines.

Judges include myself and any other hearty, brawling types that would like to volunteer.

Participants include YOU. By virtue of having read this far, you're obviously keen on the notion. Write something. These are short, entertaining, often hilarious titles.

If you need a ruling on whether something is beat 'em up enough, just ask. As a guideline, Final Fight is the ideal. Viewtiful Joe is really, really pushing the boundaries, but was allowed last time.


PARTICIPANTS:
Dug
Bred
Jake
Andore
EmP
Wrench T.
Abobo
espiga
Wolfqueen
Mess O.
Bonebreaker
Sportsman
Bayou Billy
bluberry
Overdrive
...and that's not even counting palette swaps!

WEARS GIRLS PANTIES:
Mandy
Jerec
Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon
Suskie

REVIEWS TO READ OR YOU WILL BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY THE MAYOR:
Burning Fight by darketernal
Battle Circuit by pickhut
Toxic Crusaders by Overdrive
Nightmare Circus by EmP
Double Dragon II by Overdrive
Mutation Nation by Janus
Robo Army by pickhut
BAD DUDES by wolfqueen
Final Fight by bluberry
Crystal Crashers by espiga


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Author: espiga
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:01 PM)
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Castle Crashers. Can I has it?


Your girlfriend's name ends in .jpg


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Author: drella
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:09 PM)
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Passable.


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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:09 PM)
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Neat. I'll probably do this. So long as there are ones for NES or Genesis, and I'm sure there are.

As a side note, I... don't know any of those people besides EmP... Or do I?


What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will


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Author: drella
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:15 PM)
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EmP actually doesn't know he volunteered for this yet.

The rest are my only friends.


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Author: Halon
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:23 PM)
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If I enter I will score higher than Abobo.

That is, I can find a game that I want to play and review by the deadline.

EDIT: also this avatar needs to go


IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.


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Author: drella
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:31 PM)
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You'll be lucky to top Bayou Billy if you enter.


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Author: Halon
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:35 PM)
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Well even Mess O can't do that.


IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.


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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:43 PM)
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Hm... So just as a general idea, anything classified under the Fighting Action (Brawler) category will work? There's a few there I'm seeing that I might check out. Might even download a MAME emulator for some of these...


What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will


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Author: drella
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:45 PM)
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Yeah, most of those will work. HG's listings are a bit incomplete but a good starting point.

Just don't review Buffy. Or Charlie's Angels. Or whatever the fuck "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy" is. Someone is playing a cruel joke on me listing those as beat 'em ups.


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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: September 12, 2008 (08:56 PM)
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Haha. No worries there. I've no particular interest in Buffy, Charlie or silly kids cartoons. Not in a videogame anyway.


What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will


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Author: drella
Posted: September 12, 2008 (09:03 PM)
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If you did want to review a girly franchise, Pretty Solider Sailor Moon for the arcade is actually a good beat 'em up. Just overly long. I swear this is true.

We don't have a listing for it yet though. I'll do that now.


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Author: bluberry
Posted: September 12, 2008 (09:04 PM)
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XXXX YOU

I assume this means 2D brawler, in which case I might do Streets of Rage 3 but probably won't enter due to not playing 2D brawlers much any more.


Oh no, it's a Goomba!


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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: September 12, 2008 (10:31 PM)
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Haha. Thanks, but I'm about as furtherest from girly as any girl you can probably imagine (except maybe lesbians >_>). But maybe I'll check that out sometime, anyway, if you say it's actually good.

But it'll probably have to wait. I'd rather do shorter stints right now, with school and evrything.


What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will


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Author: overdrive (Mod)
Posted: September 12, 2008 (10:41 PM)
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Great gadzooks!!!!! It's been an eternity since I strapped on the gloves of Aeternal Pain and Suffering for a beat 'em up game!!!!

An eternity too long!

It's pain time, kids!!!!


I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle


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Author: overdrive (Mod)
Posted: September 12, 2008 (10:45 PM)
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(accept maybe lesbians >_>). But maybe I'll check that out sometime, anyway, if you say it's actually good.

Minus the misspelling of "except", this segment of your post totally rules in my perverted mind!

OVERDRIVE BEAT 'EM UP VICTIM #1


I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle


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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: September 12, 2008 (10:54 PM)
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Error? I don't see any error. >_> <_<


What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will


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Author: bluberry
Posted: September 13, 2008 (12:18 AM)
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:X


Oh no, it's a Goomba!


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Author: disco1960
Posted: September 13, 2008 (12:22 AM)
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I like the Buffy game. :P


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Author: Ben
Posted: September 13, 2008 (09:52 AM)
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The television series was awesome. Seriously.


...


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Author: EmP (Mod)
Posted: September 13, 2008 (10:06 AM)
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In typical EmP fashion, I got into the TV series some four years after it had finished.

One way or another, I pledge to take part in this tourney. This statement would have more impact had this call already been made for me.

If I was a random brawler goon, I'd be one of the cheap ones that pelt players from outsde the screen with uzi fire.


For us. For them. For you.


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Author: honestgamer (Mod)
Posted: September 13, 2008 (12:24 PM)
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If I was a random brawler goon, I'd be one of the cheap ones that pelt players from outsde the screen with uzi fire.

Also known as 'the smart one.'


"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto


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Author: dragoon_of_infinity
Posted: September 13, 2008 (01:08 PM)
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What does it say about me that the first game I thought of when I read this contest was the Sailor Moon arcade game? It's already been mentioned, so it can't be THAT bad, right? Right?


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Author: drella
Posted: September 13, 2008 (09:36 PM)
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Other people who should sign up before I volunteer them:

Suskie
pickhut
DAMND
Janus

You've been warned.


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Author: jerec
Posted: September 13, 2008 (10:27 PM)
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I was going to review The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy but now I can't so I'm out.


I can avoid death by not having a life.


Additional Messages (Groups of 25)

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