Forums > Contributor Zone > A horribly late Review of the Week for April 21 - 27

Twelve reviews, so you won't be reading much banter from me.

Recommended Reading (blast from the GameFAQs past right here...):
Whelk- Adventure Island
A solid read that captures the game's issues perfectly.


THIRD PLACE
Double Dragon III: The Sacred Stones - NES - pickhut
Yes, yes, YEEEEESS! I've always harbored an unhealthy level of hatred for this game. It seems like you've bottled my vitriol and turned it into a collection of stellar observations that depict precisely what's wrong with DDIII, and why the game isn't regarded as a classic by any means. I'm glad, though, that you didn't just leave it at "it's too hard" and call it a day. You actually described perfectly well why it's too hard.

You may not have earned ROTW, but your reply at the bottom of the article has earned you "Reply of the Week." So congrats there!


SECOND PLACE
Willow - NES - overdrive
Our community has enjoyed a large wave of retro reviews of late. Your review, as it turns out, gets Retroview of the Week.

You know, I've never known what to think about Willow. I rented this game multiple times as a kid couldn't get past the unbearably lackadaisical vibe it puts off. Any time I played it, I became instantly depressed. That also might be due to the fact that I was a pre-teenage goon with raging drama-inducing hormones listening to too much grunge music, but it's more fun to blame Willow instead.

I digress. Required grinding sucks, and you've pointed out that gaming has moved away from it and is all the better for it. Nondescript dungeons also suck, and you've essentially hinted that they've never been a standard that games should hold, and that gaming would be all the better without it. Everything you say in this review, in other words, captures the spirit of 'Meh'. Little of anything in this game is outright offensive, it's all just one big drag that takes the wind right out of your sails and causes you to sigh and sigh and sigh and sigh until Bavmorda's dead. Willow is a nuisance of an action-RPG peppered with the occasional instances of greatness, and your engaging review captures it better than any other that I've read.


REVIEW OF THE WEEK
Spec-Ops: The Line - PlayStation 3 - EmP
At first, I was reluctant to give this review the crown. After all, you rated it a 9/10 and said that the mechanical segments are passable at best. However, I think you caught the vibe of the game flawlessly, and if I didn't give it ROTW, I feel I would be deserving of a hard slap. I will say that I think this review is some of your best writing. You've not only made solid observations about the game, but exactly how it made you feel. You've not only done your service here as a critic, but also as a gamer relating your experiences to readers. This is why I'll always chose a solid, almost blog-like piece over a foolish attempt at "objective reviewing." Shit like this is much more powerful.

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Done, then? Yeah, get out.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Thanks for getting the topic done, Joe, and congrats to EmP on a review that I've not read past the first few paragraphs. Why? Because I'm looking forward to playing the game myself. I actually bought it based on the strong recommendation Suskie gave it (and based also on the severely discounted price at which it was recently available in these parts), so now my goal is to go in fresh. Still, I found the intro to the review quite interesting.

As for the others, congrats to all of you also! This was a very busy week and packed full of great reviews, so I hope everyone is proud of what was contributed even if a review didn't place in the topic. If only every week could benefit from so much great content!

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

Yeah, I just bought the game on Steam myself, based not only on Suskie's account, but Emp's, holdthephone's, and Zipp's.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Wise move, Mr. Venter. Rest assured that the rest of the review is increasingly excellent, but hitting that game fresh is certainly the way to go.

Thanks for the win, Joe. And welcome the The Line. I look forward to hearing both you gentleman's thoughts on the game.

Congrats to my worthy runners up.

For us. For them. For you.

Thanks for the mention! NES DD3 was one of those games I wanted to revisit because of unfinished business, due to the constant BS it gave me when I was younger. I actually feel better now that I laid out my frustrations in detail.

Oh yeah, Reply of the Week, thanks for that xD. I don't mind when someone comes in and disagrees with my views on games, but when they go into two of my reviews and throw words around like "this review is a joke" and "you're bad at video games", they're just asking for it.

Anyway, congrats to OD for his Willow review, and EmP on his RotW! You bastards keep bringing up and discussing The Line so much, I'll have to pick it up myself just to avoid spoilers.

I head spaceshit noises.

Thanks for the mention. And yeah, those games that are technically sound, but just are lacking in overall fun can be annoying to write about. Too good to cruelly mock; not good enough to praise.

The middle ground can be ugly.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle