Forums > Contributor Zone > BRACKET: ROUND ONE STAGE TWO

see how fun it is to give into laziness?

Dagoss > Janass

I liked both of these reviews quite a bit, but I had problems with each of them. Dagoss' felt awkward and forced at times, mostly the longer paragraphs that felt like he was writing a normal review and then shoehorning it in. Janus' was very good and held its opinion well, but it just feels... rusty. for good reason, the guy's been away for a while. like, reading a "Picture this" makes me hate my Devil May Cry review even more knowing that I did the same thing. both were convincing, and both had awkward elements; in the end I'm more willing to give the nod to the more unique one. I hope this doesn't make Janus take down his review.

Ben > Suskie

Ben's review was an enjoyable read that made me agree that I probably wouldn't want to play his game. Suskie's review was an enjoyable read that made me agree that I should probably play his game. but Suskie's felt more generic in places, and I really disliked the opening paragraph, so I'm going to give the nod to Ben on this one. close, though. I did appreciate Suskie mentioning how you won't notice the barriers though, the worst thing I hate in videogames like Ocarina of Time is how it tries to convince you you're exploring some giant land... some giant land that can be walked across in about ten minutes.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

I pick Dagoss over Janus because I really thought the Etrian Odyssey review was presented in a fresh, if somewhat forced, manner. (I read many reviews in secret, sort of like a literate chameleon blending into its surroundings. This makes me a discreet expert!) The love letter approach could become very interesting and appropriate for games of this nature. I thought the Ninja Gaiden review was good, too, but it didn't contain that same level of novelty. It wasn't risky in style, so I can't reward it as highly. Really, both reviews were close in every other category except novelty.

Novelty, just like brevity, is important for me in reviews because it makes them fun and quick to read. I don't think Suskie's was novel in approach, and it certainly isn’t short. Come to think of it, I just wrote the longest review of my life yesterday. Maybe brevity isn’t that important as long as the review is interesting, which makes sense, right? This Call of Duty 4 review was very exciting for me to read, though I do agree with some of the complaints directed toward the opening paragraph. Still, I choose Suskie over Ben because the Call of Duty 4 review was exciting and the Sherlock Holmes one, while nevertheless entertaining and shorter, wasn't as satisfying. Satisfaction is important.

And boy did I feel satisfied after reading that PO’ed review. I choose Bluberry over WQ (question: what is a Booberry?) because the review was very funny and it kept me on the edge of my seat. The Lord of the Rings review was very by the book in style and substance. It explains how the game works and what problems are present. It just wasn’t very entertaining, which didn’t settle well for going against a very entertaining piece.

It's like jazz music born from the souls of men!

apparently I'm a strung out ghost who loves cereal--which makes no sense since I'm still alive, prefer pussy drugs like weed and acid to anything else, and wake up too late to eat breakfast.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

Janus vs. Dagoss

Janus's review accomplished just about everything I could ask for it to. The intro, while maybe not unique, is only not unique because it's still relevant. All his points were enthusiastic and well made, and by the end I felt like I should go give Ninja Gaiden a chance. The only real difference between that and its competition is that Dagoss took a bigger risk. I actually quite enjoyed the love letter approach he used. For the most part it remained entertaining throughout, and never really seemed like it was forced just to maintain the gimmick. I tried something similarly gimmicky once upon a time and failed miserably, maybe that's why I look fondly upon a more successful attempt.

Winner: Dagoss

Ben vs. Suskie

Call of Duty just worked. Every scenario described was a small taste of what it was really like for Suskie as he played it. There was a nearly palpable sense of excitement. The two greatest concerns that one generally would have, length and linearity, are both dispelled so convincingly that they seem like nonissues. It's one of the few 10/10 reviews where by the end I really felt the score was completely justified. Ben's review has a lot of the trappings of greatness, but it lost some steam somewhere in the middle when it stops talking about the fantastic and starts talking about the doldrums. Maybe this isn't his fault. But in the end this was like a sumo westler pushing against a bulldozer. Suskie's review is a machine that won't be stopped.

Winner: Suskie

WQ vs. Boo

Part of me wants to give it to WQ, because as awesome and entertaining as Boo's review is, it reads like a long inside joke written specifically to get a laugh out of a certain few people. And while that's great fot those of us who get it, it seems like a serious review should win over a joke review. Unfortunately, at some point seriousness loses to style, and WQ's piece was just so by the book ho hum that I can't say it was really better. Unfortunately for WQ, the Random number generator wasn't kind to her, and Boo's review was kind to my sense of humor.

Winner: Boo

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I tallied up the votes thus far:

Janus - 6
vs
Dagoss - 7

Ben - 2
vs
Suskie - 11

Wolfqueen - 0
vs
Bluberry - 10

EDIT: Now with 100% more Wolfqueen votes.

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We need someone wise to vote in the Janus/Dagoss match. It's a real nail biter!

I don't have to boost my review resume because I have a real resume.

Thanks, guys. I know you're right. Sorry for making you read all that, but I guess I just get a bit flustered sometimes. I'm over it now, in any case. I'll try to get feedback on this round, especially since one of them is tied.

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Janus vs. Dagoss

I like how Janus handles the description of the game, for the most part. I like how he focuses the review around the stylus, since that, ideally, is supposed to be an important DS feature. I also like his examples; they're pretty thorough and informative, and they paint a clear picture of what's going on. However, I didn't like how he seemed to be appealing to fans of the series as is. Even if that was his purpose, as someone who's never played Ninja Gaiden, I was a bit confused in some areas. But these were minor, mostly because the comparisons he did make made sense even to one who hsn't played the game before. I may not know what the various places he was alluding to were, but I could picture them by the way he described them. I was only really confused with that one example describing a sequence in some other game... something about beetles, I think. Another thing I noticed, though, was that the review seemed to be checking things off a list, as they say I guess, towards the end of the review.

But I think I'm giving this vote to dagoss, and I'll tell you why.

I like how he tells us how the game works from the get go, and the way he does so is so interesting that it got me laughing pretty much from start to finish.. The humor thrown in there along with the innovative structure (I've never seen a review written like a letter before!), just got me rolling. It's also largely informative, though some things like F.O.E.s and certain skills could've used explaining. And the fact that it was a love letter makes it even more entertaining. Seriously, some lines in there sounded so wrong... like this one: You might not think that grinding so much could be gratifying, but the way we do it to you will really pleasure you. I'm pretty sure "pleasure" was intentional. XP

In short, while Janus's may have done a better job overall of orienting us with the game, dagoss's was a lot more entertaining.

Second round opinions to come later.

EDIT

Ben vs. Suskie

Ben does a good job telling us about the game. His intro bit is great, especially that really creepy sounding paragraph talking about the corpse. Unfortunately, his transitions into the next couple of paragraphs are a bit jarrring, and effectively ruin that awesome atmosphere. But, considering that he's explaining that the rest of the game is pretty much dull, this is to be expected. Still, I feel like he could've eased into it a bit better or something. The rest of the review seems well-written, and we get a clear idea of what he's talking about. But I don't think he picks up the same amount of feeling in the later half of the reiew as in the first one. Still, it was an intereting read. And one that can't be ignored when expressions like "killer vagina" are used. Haha. (Did King really describe it thusly? Or is that just you being silly?

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Any word on when stage three starts?

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Whenever I feel like it!

The site slows down on weekends and not as many of the regulars check it. I don;t want to ask people to check for review picks when they very well might not be around, so the serious answer is probably some time tomorrow once I figure out your backwards time zone.

For us. For them. For you.

That's interesting, WQ -- the biggest complaint against my review so far has been the opening paragraph, so your critique is a topsy-turvy one, indeed!

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

CLOSED

Janus - 6
vs
Dagoss - 7

Ben - 2
vs
Suskie - 11

Wolfqueen - 0
vs
Bluberry - 10

For us. For them. For you.