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Forums > Submission Feedback > EmP's J.U.L.I.A review

This thread is in response to a review for J.U.L.I.A on the Miscellaneous. You are encouraged to view the review in a new window before reading this thread.

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Author: zippdementia
Posted: March 27, 2012 (12:25 AM)
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I really enjoyed this review. Devilishly quirky game and those are often the hardest to really give a good sense about. You do a great job and thanks for actually going into detail with the plot instead of just an overview. I wanted you to do it and then you did. Really, it sounds very interesting and even unique.

I know there's a few grammar errors throughout, but it's late here so I didn't really try to catch them all. I did have a couple suggestions...

There is one line that's very confusing: "Though the eventual big reveal is gifted to you rather than discovered on your own merit, I found myself surprised at not really caring"

I thought you meant you didn't care about the plot. I think this is a really important line in the review, because what you are trying to say is that the plot is good enough to excuse even some of that same plot's delivery. I hope you fix this line to represent that more clearly.

Then, and I offer this to answer your opening line you might consider opening the review with this piece: "J.U.L.I.A plays out as a kind of sci-fi noir, having protagonist-of-sorts, astrobiologist Rachael Manners wake up in her deep-space probe’s cyro-chamber to find herself utterly alone and with no explanation as to where her entire crew has vanished to. Her only companions are the damaged ship AI, J.U.L.I.A, and the hulking exploration drone, MOBOT, sitting charging in the launch bay."

It seems that the story is the right thing to open with, here, because it is the selling point. From there you could continue your next couple of paragraphs about the story and then easily transition into the downfalls of the interactive gameplay, finishing up with your last paragraph staying where it is.

Basically, I'm suggesting moving paragraphs 2, 3, and the first part of 4 to the end of the review and replacing your self-admitted lackaluster introduction with your plot stuff.

That's just a thought.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


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Author: EmP (Mod)
Posted: March 31, 2012 (05:33 AM)
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I've been pretty rubbish with feedback recently. My excuse is that I've not been online as often as I used to be, so I've missed a lot of things that I'd normally clock. I'll remedy this as I can -- I know you can't function without me.

Thanks for your thoughts on this review, Zipp. The intro was originally a palceholder that gave me reason to delve into the review's body in the hopes that I'd be able to return and paper it over with something less suck. I'm going to spend an hour or so now fiddling around with things, and will take your thoughts onboard.

EDIT: There: I've tricked it out.


For us. For them. For you.


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Author: zippdementia
Posted: March 31, 2012 (06:23 PM)
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Brilliant.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


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Author: zippdementia
Posted: March 31, 2012 (06:23 PM)
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I now demand half of all royalties.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


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