Forums > Submission Feedback > JoeTheDestroyer's Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em review

Nice review, Joe.

Small typo: "Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em hits two point effectively..."

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

Nice catch! I fixed that and the redundant part at the beginning that was redundant.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

"It adds to the frustration, demeans the fun, and cheapens the experience."

The experience of playing Beat em and Eat Em can be cheapened? :D

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Sure, if you ignore the large hanging appendage and bird-hipped nude girls and focus on just the gameplay. Sadly, doing that takes some zen-like powers that most humans don't possess.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Your review reminded me of lots of 8-bit stuff. Sometimes it remains legitimate to this day that an 8-bit game only gets more difficult by getting faster, or throwing more enemies in the same space. But as you say, some takes on this (like in Beat em) are just impractical.

I have an Apple II game called Genesis which is controlled by a paddle, and it's not just that the playfield gets faster, but the response to the controls becomes aggressive to the point that if you turn the paddle fast enough, you can 'teleport' around the screen, rather than move through all points inbetween. Given you may wish to teleport past gaps in the wall your spider is walking on, this could be considered an advantage, but in the end - the game only has 6 levels, and I think that was just the manner of programming at the time. They just attached the speed of -everything- to whatever level you were on, and didn't really evaluate the consequences.

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Indeed. Even though it was essentially the same game as Beat 'Em, I always enjoyed Kaboom! Maybe it was the better control response that made it a better game, maybe it was the fact that it was a blast (pun maybe intended) to play with a friend. I actually became quite good at that game for a while, and haven't been able to rise to such a competent level today.

Genesis sounds interesting. I'll have to give it a look.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

Nice. I enjoyed the phrase 'horribly mangled women trying to catch yellow liquid secreted by ET in a blond toupee', it made me chuckle aloud, and I like the 'good idea, bad idea' bit at the end.

I always enjoyed Kaboom!

Ah, Kaboom! My brother and I spent many hours slaving over that. Good times.

'There would be tears and there would be strange laughter. Fierce births and deaths beneath umbrageous ceilings. And dreams, and violence, and disenchantment.'