Forums > Submission Feedback > fleinn's The Fancy Pants Adventures (PSN) review

Solid review here Fleinn, although it is a bit choppy. I'm always open to solid platforming and just might give this one a shot. Is this also on XBLA?

"Nowadays, people know the price of everything and the value of nothing"

*Oscar Wilde*

Yeah - xbl, psn.

World 3 is apparently going to turn up as well. As a flash-version. Not sure how they're going to pull that one over the lawyers at EA, but.. You can check out the beta on brad borne's site http://www.bornegames.com/ ..more refined physics version, that kind of thing.

..it is a bit choppy, isn't it. Way too many changes between passive and active or something.. sort of sounds like the end of the review several times :D lol thanks.

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Good review, and it made me interested in a game that I had no interest in before, but I do have a stylistic criticism.

You often end a sentence. Then start a new one. When it would flow much better to merge them into one. This might be contributing. To the choppiness.

'There would be tears and there would be strange laughter. Fierce births and deaths beneath umbrageous ceilings. And dreams, and violence, and disenchantment.'

hehe, yeah.. there's... I have a habit of writing long sentences with fifteen sub-sentences and parentheses before ending with a semi-colon, and so on. So I'm trying to avoid that. And hopefully sometimes creating a natural pause instead of mentally deflating people's lungs somewhere along the way.

But it didn't work that well in the middle there lol. Maybe I need to try piecing together the paragraphs a bit differently.. I mean, if I just put more punctuation and spaces into a set of sentences that still deflate your lungs.. then..

..anyone want to help me with a few other things they see, before I do a small rewrite..? :)

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Just a couple of things I noticed. The first paragrap needs some sssssses. :)

the figure does pointless things with scrawly fists, demonstrate/s against the boredom of Ibsen and Hamsun analyses, and violently wallrun/s against the edge of the pages.

And I agree about that choppiness. Check the paragraph starting: That you can play together with friends

Don't panic!

..that's why it sounded so strange >_< lol.. maybe I was thinking about figures on each page that really are (is..?) just one character. and then mixed it up again later.

Thank you for feedback. Very useful. (Btw...any suggestions on how to get rid of that "There's also a challenge mode.." at the end..? :/ Think I should just delete it?)

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I think the 'There's a challenge mode' section is fine. Just so you know.

'There would be tears and there would be strange laughter. Fierce births and deaths beneath umbrageous ceilings. And dreams, and violence, and disenchantment.'

Yeah.. I just thought it didn't add anything useful. It's like it reads: "The reviewer had something else he had to mention, but which you'll figure out on your own anyway, and has absolutely no bearing on the impression of the game".. you know..

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