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Author: EmP (Mod)
Posted: March 25, 2011 (11:56 AM)
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Venter, Game Dev Story

WILL: I swear I remember covering this for a RotW competition, but I can't seem to find it. Anyway, AS I RECALL SAYING LAST TIME this is a quirky and lighthearted review of a quirky and lighthearted game. You've desrcibed the process of game-making (meta-gaming?) well enough that I have a really good mental picture of how this plays, but, while I'm sure you enjoyed the game the review doesn't really sell me on it. You might have found yourself rooting for the digital dev team, but I have difficulty seeing why I'd be inclined to do that. Not that I'm a stranger to emotional attachments to video game characters, but you haven't done enough to convince me that they're there.

ADJUSTMENT: Indie enough that Wikipedia doesn't have an entry. +7

CD: A very upbeat, well written, review that touches on the fun parts of the game but not really on any of the drawbacks of the game. You can tell from the review that there will be frustration when you develop a game you think is a sure winner but it actually bombs. So is this game really a 10? This review certainly makes it sound like that. I would like to have seen a bit more detail on game play. There is mention of training team members but not what you can train. Does the 20 hours spent playing the game (as mentioned in the review) let you access all the material the game has to offer and then you tweak it or are there hidden things to find, i.e. super programmer?

I am not so sure this is an indie game because Kairosoft Co. LTD has been developing simulation games for the Japanese PC and cellular phone market since 1996. They are not well known here I’ll give you that so no bonus score at all but I also will not subtract anything because I cannot find anything about the company. If you have any information I will adjust my score accordingly.

Review score: 80/100 – Indie score: +0

ZIG:This is not an indie game, but mainstream sites seem to think it is, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were misled. So you only lose half points. -10

This review would have been a lot more interesting if it had connected the mechanics to real life. Who do those four critics represent? You say that a shooter/dating-sim combo would do poorly -- is there a real-life example of this? These questions may not seem important at initial glance -- the game is fun, after all! -- but the whole point of Game Dev Story is to simulate game development in a charming way. When we're talking about a 10 score game, it had better mimic or parody the actual game development scene. It does, but your review doesn't make that point (the review talks about game development, but it doesn't talk about the scene). That connection to the development scene is what distinguishes this from other bring-up games like Graduation.

In place of that piece, you connect Game Dev Story's theme to your personal life and ambitions, and you do so effectively. I come away believing that you prefer this to teaching sims because you are more interested in game development. You provide enough support to explain Game Dev Story, but you don't provide enough support to make me believe that this is better than other bring-up sims.

You also don't address whether or not you get to actually play the games you develop (or more likely, cutesy retro representations of the games). A lot of bring-up sims include an application for the training. Monster Rancher has exploration and fights, and Idolm@ster contains animated concerts that represent how well you've developed your popstar. In 2010, I would expect that a 10-score title has something extra like that, even if it's low-scale due to budgetary reasons. A game could be good without that kind of thing, but we're talking 10 here!

75 - 10 = 65

OD, Breath of Death

WILL: Damnit, OD, stop it with your nostalgic twinges of longing.

This piece is great for description and explaination without resorting to dry lists and play-by-plays. But although I enjoyed this review, I found myself losing interest about halfway down the page and wanting to skim through the rest quickly. It's very thorough and descriptive, but wordy.

ADJUSTMENT: A $1 XBLA title? Sounds pretty indie to me. +8

CD: There is no doubt this game was well thought out in such a way as to alleviate some of the pitfalls that plagued some of the games this one strives to emulate. Though briefly mentioned in the review there are lots of jokes and parody of other great RPGs scattered throughout the game. Though well done with plenty of information about the game I don’t know that this review gives us the full picture of what this game has to offer an RPG fan or someone interested in an RPG that is minus some of the pacing ordeals other RPGs might have.

Breath of Death VII: The Beginning mostly developed by single person, one Robert Boyd, is most assuredly an Indie game.

Review Score: 78/100 – Indie score: +10

Zig: This is definitely an indie game, so you won't lose any points. But it's a well-known indie game that has already been reviewed here, so you won't earn any bonus points, either.

The review spends too much time fawning over the concept of parody and eliminating oldschool annoyance, and not enough time describing BODVII's wit or aesthetics or why the battle mechanics are actually good (as opposed to merely "not annoying"). You mention that some monsters can be destroyed with normal attacks, and others must be assailed with powerful spells from the start. Does the game provide any warning as to which is which, or is it trial-and-error with lots of Game Overs? For that matter, is death an annoyance or has that been streamlined too? If the dungeons are lackluster, did you keep playing because you wanted to see what else the game had to offer, or were just "in the zone" and compelled to finish due to the nerdcore OCD we all suffer from?

You convincingly established that the game eliminates oldschool annoyance, but all that other stuff is important if you're going to convince me that this game deserves a 9 and my time. Money is no object, but time is valuable.

75 + 0 = 75

Joe, Light's End

WILL: Ah, another nostalgic-y game. The concept Light's End pitches sounds pretty need, but I don't think you've done enough to convince the reader of it. The mantra of "Show, don't tell", while it might be out of place for a 2D RPG, is very much a big deal in writing a review, and there's far more Tell than Show in this piece. I'm not convinced that jumping into NPCs to have them perform actions to benefit the protagonist that they'd otherwise not do entails logical or believable behaviour, nor does Crystal's snippet of suicidal angst sell me on the complex character-driven story.

ADJUSTMENT: Other than it exists, I found next to no information about this game apart from the official website. +8

CD: Joe does a really good job here of telling a lot about the game and the story without spoiling too much of that story. We are told just enough about the story to keep the review flowing but not so much as to feel we already played the game. Not much more to say except I always thought it was “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

Light’s End being primarily written entirely by Ryan Thorlakson is a fine example of today’s Indie games.

Review score: 88/100 – Indie score: +10

ZIG: Similar to BODVII, this is an indie game that has already been reviewed. But it's less known than BODVII, so you'll get a few points. +3

You're at a disadvantage here because Light's End sucks, but you gave it an 8. An eight!

In terms of writing, this review doesn't exhibit the word economy of the two I harshly critiqued above. I didn't praise Venter or OD's polish, but that's because I expect that from them. As an example, your first sentence is pretty wordy. I'd recommend splitting it... something along the lines of "In an isolated mining town dwells a bitter and young soul, a girl named Crystal who is grieving the death of her mother. Her boyfriend has been drafted into the army to fight rebel forces, and her overbearing father has imposed a restrictive curfew."

Something like that is a bit easier to swallow (long first sentences are rought!), splits Crystal's "grief" away from her other problems, and also attributes her name to the word 'girl' instead of to 'soul'. The girl's name is Crystal... the soul's name is not, although people who haven't played the game won't understand ;)

"As they say, though: nothing risked, nothing venture." <--- that's not what they say

Your point about story belonging to the characters was excellent. Do you write fiction? You're either speaking through experience, or else you're a very perceptive person.

I think this game is incorrectly classified on the site as an RPG. It's actually a visual novel with really bad visuals, or perhaps an adventure game. I won't fault you for calling it an RPG (since the site calls it one), but your paragraph about the gameplay would be stronger if you abandoned the RPG mindset. It raises unnecessary questions, such as "how can you say it has RPG-style gameplay if there are no battles?" Wandering around and having conversations will not represent RPG gameplay until RPGs actually get to a point where conversations are developed enough to be the focus (we're still not there yet).

70 + 3 = 73

EmP, The Ball

WILL: I remember covering this in a lost RotW competition as well. What I don't remember is your explaination for the bolds.

Gimmicks aside, this piece is easy to read and encapsulates the game well; it should be a one-trick pony, but it's not, and you've done well convincing me of that. You've even described the puzzles well enough to give me a sense of how they work, but vague enough that it won't spoil my own attempts to solve them.

ADJUSTMENT: Okay, sure, Tripwire Interactive is technically indie, but the growing prevelance of digital distribution venues like Impulse and Steam are seriously blurring the lines. These are the guys that did Red Orchestra, right? The UT2K4 mod that won that competition sponsored by nVidia? I'm of the opinion that Tripwire isn't quite indie enough. +0

CD: Teotl Studios (formerly Toltec Studios) made themselves a very interesting if not unique game in “The Ball”. EmP gives us the low-down on the game quite nicely and in doing so gives us insight into the interesting situations and/or puzzles in which the ball is used. Although not really mentioned in the review the graphics of the game are as good as you could expect from the Unreal Engine. “The Ball” is definitely a fun game to play but a difficult game to master as EmP pointed out in his review of the game. Perhaps EmP felt it was not worth mentioning but I felt as though you were always moving on your knees and the ball was huge sometimes blocking your view but then you could make it transparent so it wasn’t too bad.

The question arises is “The Ball” an Indie game? Well yes and no. No in that it uses an existing engine not an in-house developed engine and yes in that only the four developers made the game from scratch.

Review score: 80/100 – Indie score: -5

ZIG: Indie but famous: +0

Nice review that establishes the atmosphere and explains the mechanics.

88 + 0 = 88

WQ, Lylian: Episode 1

WILL: Text wrapping around the images is clunky and doesn't quite work, but I'd feel like a jerk if I seriously marked you down for formatting jazz that. This piece evokes a lovely sense of atmosphere, dark and forboding but also...idunno, whimsical? Basically, you've planted the idea in my head that is something I'd want to pick up and try myself, and that usually indicates that a review has done its job.

ADJUSTMENT: This game is so indie that the official website doesn't even show up on a Google search for "Lylian: Episode 1". You know you're an indie game when your SEO is awful. +8

CD: Pixelpickle Games created one of the most different games you will ever want to play. Full of mystery and discombobulation as was review presented here. This review seemed as though there was no real flow, and perhaps that was intentional given the nature of the game. Game mechanics were described admirably but I felt something was missing and that may have been summed up in the last paragraph were we are told things in the game are left dangling with the promise of another adventure.

Lylian: Episode 1 garnered high marks from the Independent Game Federation which leaves no doubt this is an indie game.

Review score: 75/100 – Indie score: +10

ZIG: Indie +4 (less than half points since it doesn't sound like even half of a game)

The pictures hurt this one because they don't line up well. The presence of screenshots on the sidebar also hurts (I can't remember -- can users elect not to show those screens?) Your second paragraph doesn't make sense; the first explains that her imagination is suppressed, but then you talk about all the wild things that happen. I would suggest taking the first three sentences of the third paragraph and tack the second paragraph behind those. The review's flow would make more sense that way.

The part about how the game ends without any resolution sounds pretty terrible, but the world-altering imagination mechanic sounds cool. Still, I just can't buy that such a short game would ever reach a worthwhile level of challenge.

Anyways, I think the review text relies too much on the pictures and not enough on the game itself. I feel like there was more that could and should have been said about how the game really works -- and if not, then I don't understand why Lylian got a good score.

70 + 4 = 74

DoI, Antipole

WILL: Yeah, you're right, DoI. Sometimes all a game needs to be is fun. And sometimes all a review needs to do is say that.


Well, perhaps. This is a difficult piece to judge. On the one hand, there's not much to go on. On the other, the same can be said about the source material. My thinking is this might not have been the best choice for the tournament, despite being a good review.

ADJUSTMENT: It's a flash game by one dude. It doesn't even have a website that I can find. +10

CD: Saturnine Games went over the top in this game, or was that under the top. Hard to tell when half the game is played upside down. What was not upside down was this review. How do you entice people to play a game that basically has only one claim to fame? You write a short simple review that gets right to the point and tells you everything you need to know.

Antipole was an IGF 2010 Main Competition Entrant.

Review score: 86/100 – Indie score: +10

ZIG: Indie +8

I like how you mention the satisfaction that comes with executing a series of difficult jumps. This sounds like a game where some actual effort went into the design. You've apparently had much better experience with Flash games than I have; "difficult" (and fun) are not words I would apply to them. But this one's on Xbox, so it's understandable why it's different. Your only mistake was in not giving it a 10.

Anyways, you quickly get to the point, you credibly support that point, and then you end. And as a bonus, your point actually matters! Nice.

85 + 8 = 93

Tur, Barkley, Shut Up and Jam

WILL: Somehow I knew you'd come out of retirement with a wacky, tongue-in-cheek, left-field kind of game. Oh, you.

I like what you've done with the tone of this piece. It shows us the game's wackiness without getting overly wrapped up in it, maintains enough distance to talk about it without being sterile and boring. It's an impressive feat of balancing, and it does a lot to add an air of authority and credibility to the writing.

ADJUSTMENT: <div class="image">

<div>I'm convinced. +9</div>
Total: 85

CD: A game that sounds like a Basketball game but is really an RPG is an interesting take on games by Tales of Game's Studios. Turducken gives us a good overview of the game and gives the Word on the controls but the burning question of the day is how do you dribble a spiked basketball? Just a few minor mistakes in the review but not so much as to drag down the score i.e., Since it acts like a duck not Since it acts like a ducks.

While Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa was certainly made by a group of independents I feel this falls more into the shareware category than the indie category.

Review score: 78/100 – Indie score: -5

ZIG: Indie +10 (a true fan game)

This would be better without that lame first paragraph. Start with "in a world" and you're golden. This sounds like a true fan game. The part about not being a parody is especially telling... someone just really loves basketball and probably loved Shut Up and Jam. So they made a game and let it live its own life. A few grammar issues, but overall a pleasant and informative read that makes me actually want to download the game. And I believe I won't be disappointed.

85 + 10 = 95

Blah, Magicka

WILL: Fundamentally, this review uses what could be considered by some to be something of an overabdundance of, what might be called, conditional statements, and overall it detracts from the review's overarching narrative voice in an ultimately negative fashion.

That said, you've covered the bases and pitched this game well, which is tricky to do with a game as flexible as Magicka. You've also nicely avoided the trap of listing off a bunch of - oh wait, no, no you haven't, there it is halfway through. :/

But this is nevertheless a fun read.

ADJUSTMENT: Magicka was indie when they started out. Unfortunately for your score, Paradox picked them up before the game even went to beta. -20

CD: For what the review tells us it is pretty good but I get the feeling there is more to say about this game. I also felt flow from the first paragraph to second paragraph was very abrupt. There were a few mistakes here and there but most important for me was the fact I did not get a clear picture why the game was given 9/10.

Even though Magicka was developed by Arrowhead Game Studios the game was published by Paradox Interactive who holds the IP for the game. That being known I cannot regard this as an indie game.

Review score: 70/100 – Indie score: -10

ZIG: Not indie: -10

The first main paragraph has a run-on sentence (" The game has a simple style to it, between the pseudo-Swedish language of the land and the light-hearted dialogue found throughout, intermixed with pop-culture and internet memes, you'll be amused at the multiple references made both covertly and overtly during the game.") It's easier to overlook grammar issues if they occur near the end of an otherwise readable review.

Diving into the bugs after introducing the game felt weird. Part of it was probably because of the phrasing: "this is not to say X is without bugs" is generally a statement made after someone has established a game is fun and generally high-quality. You hadn't done that yet. You also spelled "released" wrong.

I didn't really get a good feel for the game or what makes it so special, which is a problem since it's a 9 review. The element system seemed to be your trump, but there are lots of dungeoncrawlers with interesting mechanics. Simply being able to combine elements isn't interesting -- I wanted to hear how those things really affected the game. If they're simply another way to kill monsters, then that's kind of a waste.

I also didn't understand the "culturally relevant" mention at the end. I went back and re-read the intro, which mentions pop culture and memes... you really should have spoiled something. Telling me that a game is culturally relevant or funny isn't compelling. Giving an example is.

This is a readable but bare review that gets a lower score than it should because the game isn't indie.

65 - 10 = 55

Janus, Super QuickHook

WILL: I remember reviewing Hook Champ for another contest, too! And I remember Hook Champ sounding like more fun than this game. Sometimes fun doesn't translate between sequels, and you've succinctly explained here why that is. You've also avoided a straight-up bash review, and as much as I love a good flame that adds a kind of pained sincerity to the writing. You may be tough on the game, but being tough out of fairness rather than malice makes the tone feel much more credible.

ADJUSTMENT: Look at their homepage. Seriously. +8

CD: I don’t think we know a lot about the game other than Janus does not like it as much as Hook Champ. Saying “the game feels so empty and lifeless” but the fact you can buy things and play as other characters in the game does not seem like it is void of life entirely. It is difficult to make a decision having not played Hook Champ to really understand if I would like this game based exclusively on this review. Never-the-less there are things in the review that make you think about finding out more about the game and in that regard the review does serve a purpose.

SuperQuickHook is indeed listed as an Indie game on several sites and based only on that information I give my Indie score.

Review score: 75/100 – Indie score +10

ZIG: Indie +5 (it's a sequel, but still indie)

I really like the approach you've taken here, by relating this to the 16-bit neutering of 8-bit classics that became classics due to their challenging mechanics. The part about looking for coins without being chased sounds incredibly lame. You've already turned me off of this game. And the part about being a genial explorer in an embarrassing fur coat sounds like a bad SNES game.

"Make games too easy and players will soon lose interest."

"...I kept going back for more [in Hook Champ] because the action was so tense, engaging and fun."

"...chasing an impossible goal is far less fulfilling than knowing that once you reach the end of the stage you will have won."

Your game only earned five indie points, but you are the winner in my book. That's because your review said important things.

95 + 5 = 100

Blah -- 171
Venter -- 221
OD -- 241
EmP -- 243
Joe/WQ -- 245
Tur -- 254
Janus -- 271
DoI -- 273

By a walloping 2 point gap, DoI marks his debut win! I've been protoging him for years now, so it's about time Congrats mostly to him, and in progressivly smaller slices to everyone else.

Many thanks to the judges for their time and comments.

For us. For them. For you.

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Author: CoarseDragon
Posted: March 25, 2011 (12:29 PM)
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Congratulations to Josh on the win.

Thanks to EmP for running the contest.

And a big thanks to everyone else who gave us some very good reviews to read.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.

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Author: overdrive (Mod)
Posted: March 25, 2011 (01:26 PM)
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I like how the results are printed worst to first. It makes me think I placed pretty highly in this one!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: March 25, 2011 (01:42 PM)
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The pics I thought to put in because I thought they'd add more to the nothing bit of text I'd had written for the game to begin with. I thought they'd help supplement what I was talking about, rather than just be pointless throw ins. As far as I'm concerned, they do exactly what I intended them to do, really, because each one I put in was a very conscious decision.

And before you say "you should've just wrote more then", haha, the game's so short that doing so would practically involve me telling you the whole brunt of the story / level design, and that would be rather pointless. =P The game only lasts an hour or two and as such, there's really nothing to it. I know this sounds damning - and maybe it is - but even so, I can't bring myself to mark it too harshly (well, maybe I could've given it a 6; I dunno), but the uniqueness of the idea were compelling enough to make me rate it higher. *shrug* I'm not going to go into semantics about how to score here, frankly, as that debate has long since been discussed.

Truth is, this review was really a challenge in its own way. I know it's not perfect by any means, but I feel I did the best I could with it. Since writing it, I've been given some ideas for how to improve it, and I'll definitely consider those in the future.

Anyway, thanks to the judges for taking the time to do this as always. Congrats to the winners and other participants, as this would have been nothing without you.

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

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Author: WilltheGreat
Posted: March 25, 2011 (02:38 PM)
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WQ: I would suggest floating the images, rather than wrapping the text next time. That'll solve the problem of weird-looking paragraphs.

Here, let me see if I can show you what I mean...

EDIT: No, uh, guess not. Nevermind. Wrapping is fine.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

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Author: CoarseDragon
Posted: March 25, 2011 (03:01 PM)
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WQ: I liked the screenshots in your review. I thought it was a little lacking in flow in some places. One paragraph Bob is crawling through air vents and next thing you know we are reading a comic then we get this "But however difficult dealing with it is, warping reality is often necessary." I lost what you were after there, the bees, the book or Bob or the whole thing. You had some good sections so don't think the whole thing was a bad read it was not. It was interesting I just had trouble following you a couple of times.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.

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Author: turducken
Posted: March 26, 2011 (02:30 PM)
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Heh, am I in retirement, Will? I like to think I'm just lazy.

This would be better without that lame first paragraph.

Assuming that's the paragraph complaining about the guy stealing my topic title (and he really did, the little scamp), it actually did start out like that originally. Then I saw my title was stolen and for some reason decided to gripe. Maybe it cost me the election, but I had to vent! C'est la vie.

Also losing points when the point-stealer acknowledges it was made by indies is bad form! Boooo-urns.

"My father, the Emperor, had many powers of the Dark Side. But without three eyes he could never achieve perfection." - Trioculus

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Author: Felix_Arabia
Posted: March 26, 2011 (03:41 PM)
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Very entertaining judging results to read. I feel like I got to benefit from this competition without putting in actual work! Congrats to DOI on his win.

On a side note, Coarse Dragon, are you a sales rep for any of the publishers of the games that were chosen for this competition?

I don't have to boost my review resume because I have a real resume.

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Author: True
Posted: March 27, 2011 (04:49 PM)
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On a different side note: Who's doing the next contest, if anyone?

If I Offended You, You Needed It.

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Author: JANUS2
Posted: March 28, 2011 (08:50 AM)
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Thanks to the judges, especially Zigfried!

Losing by two points is sort of like winning. Well, actually it's not but oh well.

"fuck yeah oblivion" - Jihad

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Author: CoarseDragon
Posted: March 28, 2011 (11:50 AM)
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turducken here is why I gave you a low score. This game was made on a shareware game making program. That to me means not "developed" but rather created using an existing software tool. Yes all game makers use tools to make games but just like "The Ball" I don't feel these games are true indie games unlike Breath of Death VII and others that were entirely created from scratch. Here are my sources:,_Shut_Up_and_Jam:_Gaiden

"The game was first developed on the RPG Maker 2003 game engine, but was later ported to Game Maker 6.1."

While it does say "Independent" that does not mean it is an "Indie" game.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.

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Author: JoeTheDestroyer (Mod)
Posted: March 28, 2011 (03:14 PM)
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Haha! Move successful, intarwebs back.

Thank you everyone for your comments. I was in bad need of a deep critique, especially on this one.

"As they say, though: nothing risked, nothing venture." <--- that's not what they say

D'oh! Fixed.

More comments to come, maybe. Possibly. I have to leave work first. :

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.

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Author: turducken
Posted: March 28, 2011 (11:47 PM)
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While I appreciate the explanation I was REALLY complaining, just light-hearted joshing or somesuch. I got third-place for a game I haven't played in like two years and wrote the review for a few hours before the submission deadline (hence mucho typos/grammar flubs). I can live with third. SOMEHOW...

"My father, the Emperor, had many powers of the Dark Side. But without three eyes he could never achieve perfection." - Trioculus

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Author: WilltheGreat
Posted: March 29, 2011 (11:01 AM)
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This game was made on a shareware game making program. That to me means not "developed" but rather created using an existing software tool.

That's an amusingly arbitrary distinction.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

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Author: CoarseDragon
Posted: March 29, 2011 (11:11 AM)
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Not as arbitrary as you might think. I put a lot of thought into what I thought was an Indie game. I gave EmP the same deduction for the same reason. Judges have to make these fundamental abstractions and be ready to back them up.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.

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Author: BLAH_Or_blah
Posted: March 30, 2011 (07:52 PM)
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Truth be told, not only did EmP enter for me, but also introduced the spelling errors.



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Author: wolfqueen001
Posted: March 30, 2011 (08:25 PM)
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Haha. Blah; that makes it sound like EmP wrote your review for you. =/

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

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Author: BLAH_Or_blah
Posted: March 31, 2011 (01:07 PM)
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I'm actually an EmP alt.

Your mind, it is blown.


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