Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW -- Jan 23-29, 2010: Winter Wonderland edition.

Blah. Winter sucks. Hopefully these reviews don't. At least that will brighten my day, which took a downward turn when I got a phone call that I may need to work today, after all. Apparently, being able to stay indoors where I can enjoy the crappy weather from a safe distance was too much to hope for. Blah.

Top three reviews, one per each writer allowed. Except Felix's review, as he's too cool for school.


THIRD PLACE: Dirty Larry: Renegade Cop (Lynx) by Leroux_Deux

A bad Lynx game?!?! PERISH THE THOUGHT!!!! A long ways back, I remember being complemented by a contest judge or RotW judge because of how I had this "voice of authority" when talking about some game or another. Sometimes when I'm reading a review, I notice that sort of thing in the writer. This is an example of that. You've done a lot of great beat 'em up reviews and the "this dude knows what he's talking about" vibe is here to the degree that a guy like me, who plays these games, but doesn't necessarily have a passion for them, can nod his head and be like, "Yep, I can see that." It's a short review, but says all it needs to in good fashion. Especially in discussing things like the utterly atrocious physics. Use the gun because hand-to-hand is horrible. Take hits because trying to dodge them will just result in you getting hit more. You get plenty of health items to make up for all the damage you take because of all this. Knowing how much you love beat 'em ups, I actually found myself feeling sorry for you because you played this abomination. Amazingly, despite all these complements, you're only third place.

SECOND PLACE: C: The Contra Adventure (PlayStation) by pickhut

FUNFACT: I do RotWs both on my work and home computer. I'm at home right now. The last home RotW I did was a couple months ago and your Contra: Legacy of War review (referenced in this one repeatedly) got the exact same second place finish. Insert "Twilight Zone" music.

I could cut-n-paste what I told Leroux with certain words changed, but let's do a bit more work. The thing I loved most was that sense of authority. You come off as a Contra fan who is very knowledgeable about the series (the "other re-used Contra 3 bits" part was a nice touch for displaying this) which gives your many complaints about this game the sort of validity that a guy like me, who has only played-n-reviewed the two NES ones, can't muster. We all have that one (or more) series that we love to the degree that if we reviewed them, we'd come up with tidbits that most people wouldn't notice. Contra looks like one of those series for you. This is an amusing bash review that gives readers all the warning they need that this game is a HUGE black eye for the Contra series.

OVERDRIVE PLACE: Xexyz (NES) by JoeTheDestroyer

Man, Xexyz is one of my more-played games from the old days and you gave it a score two points lower than I would have. Or at least one point lower. Haven't played it in a fair while. Fortunately, I'm a forgiving sort, so you're excused. I hadn't even really thought of this game in ages and this review makes me want to play it again simply because you not only wonderfully described parts of it, but because you did so in a way that simply hadn't even entered my mind. When I played it, I saw a fun sci-fi title. You looked at it through different glasses and saw a really tripped-out NES title and let your review flow with that in mind. Humorous references like Ryu getting hit by a bird and being lost forever made me chuckle and the way you described things in this game brought it all back to me, despite it being forever since I played it. Just a wonderfully creative work. PS: I beat this bad boy on the actual NES w/no save states just cuz I'm awesome like that. And yes, "Mecha-Rodan" (I believe actually named Horrza in the instruction books assuming it's the big robotic sumbitch with the flamethrowers) is a major pain in the ass. Toughest fight in the game there. Come to think of it, he opened a pretty tough sequence, as after him, I remember a brutally tough flying area with another rough boss (Cavuza).

I also must give a "BUSY BEE HONORABLE MENTION" to EmP for writing THREE high-quality reviews this week! Including two for 360 Indie games. Your reviews of Cthulhu (part of this week) and Breath of Death VII played a big role in convincing me to try a few of these less-publicized offerings and so far, I'm really enjoying Breath of Death. A neat thing I'm discovering is that these games, in reality, are as large as the ones they're a sort of homage to, but with all the level grinding cut out, it takes far less time to go from place to place. So, while I didn't give you a top three spot, I still give you kudos.

And that's that. Back to moping and whatnot for me! Unless I get the "good news" call that I'm not needed at the office. While doing this, I got a call stating I might not have to help. That would be kickass!!!

EDIT: And I did get that call. Beer-thirty + Star Ocean for me tonight, please!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Heh, thanks for the kind words, OD. I guess I have a hidden passion for the Contra series, even though I come off as a Metal Slug fanboy at times.

Congrats on your RotW, Joe.

I head spaceshit noises.

Thank you, thank you! I do like Xexyz. I used to rent it fairly often as a kid. It was one of those games that made my friends say, "This is stupid!" I think they just didn't appreciate the quirk. Then again, these were the same guys who thought Kid Kool was amazing. Thanks again, OD, and congrats pickhut and Leroux, and yes, great reviews from EmP.

The only thing my milkshake brings to the yard is a subpoena.