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Author: honestgamer
Posted: January 04, 2011 (03:03 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
Until the last paragraph, this was the most polished and efficient review I can recall ever reading from you. Even the last paragraph was efficient, but there were two rather obvious grammatical errors. Please fix those. I think this has a really good chance at doing very, very well in the competition, particularly if the judges enjoy it as much as I did. You told me everything I needed to know and made your points relevant and easy to relate to. Terrific stuff!
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality |
Author: Genj
Posted: January 04, 2011 (04:15 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
Fixed. Thanks.
_ |
Author: CoarseDragon
Posted: January 05, 2011 (11:58 AM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
You missed this one. Should "be" have been added after can and before male?
Age is a condition not a state of mind. |
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