Forums > Submission Feedback > True's Sports Champions review

You are correct in this being a really good game(s). Really cool thing is if you have two Move devices you can use both for Archery.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.

As extension to my Rotw talk - this review has some loose writing.

1. There are a lot of floaty prepositions!

EG - 'By picking games that have never been showcased, Sports Champions can keep it casual and entertaining. They don’t have to try and re-create the sport or try to add a new element to keep it fresh. It’s like that on its own.'

Ok so, 'SC can keep it casual.'

'They don't have to try and...' (who are they? the Sports Champions themselves?)

... to keep it fresh. (keep what fresh? They? Themselves? The Sports Champions? You see how the subject of this sentence keeps getting watered down more and more as it continues?)

'It's like that on its own' (Arrrrgh!)

2. There's some unnecessary qualification of stuff:

EG - 'There’s relatively no story mode'

I'm guessing there is no story mode, period?

or, Table Tennis is virtually an intense, power swinging match of ping-pong

... which doesn't need 'virtually'.

etc.

So I think this needs proofreading.

Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.

1. There are a lot of floaty prepositions!

EG - 'By picking games that have never been showcased, Sports Champions can keep it casual and entertaining. They don’t have to try and re-create the sport or try to add a new element to keep it fresh. It’s like that on its own.'

Ok so, 'SC can keep it casual.'

'They don't have to try and...' (who are they? the Sports Champions themselves?)

... to keep it fresh. (keep what fresh? They? Themselves? The Sports Champions? You see how the subject of this sentence keeps getting watered down more and more as it continues?)

'It's like that on its own' (Arrrrgh!)

Would you think something like this would be better bloomer?

By picking games that have not been showcased before Sony Computer Entertainment America has been able to keep Sports Champions casual and entertaining. Sony does not even need to try to re-create the sports by adding any new elements to keep them fresh, they would be fresh on their own.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.

I would definitely think that was better than all of those 'its' and 'it's', CD.

Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.

Although, that first rewritten sentence would need a comma...

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!