Forums > Submission Feedback > MolotovCupcake's Trinity Universe review

Some people think dungeon crawls are boring and for the most part they are which is why I was happy to see comment on the humor that NIS is so famous for.

In the second paragraph you start "As they" and I found myself wondering if you were speaking of Laharl and Etna mentioned in the previous paragraph but I realized you were probably writing of Kanata and Rizelia but you had not introduced them in the review yet. Just a thought (and feel free to ignore it) but it might be a good idea to introduce them to the reader before referring to them as 'they'.

Another thing you could do is change to focal point of that second paragraph to the player. "As they begin playing and find themselves bombarded with bottomless dungeons" might be "they" to "you" and "themselves" to yourself". Later [in the second paragraph] you could change "gamers" to "the players".

I liked your review. You touched on many things I wanted to know about the game. Nice work.

Age is a condition not a state of mind.