Forums > Submission Feedback > EmP's Get to tha Choppa!!1 (XBLI) review

I really like this review, and the padded intro works better than it has any right to, but I do have to point out that this one did need a check over for grammar and spelling. These took me out of the review:

"I doubt I’d be able to impress my disappointment or elation in numerous titles, but, sometimes, it’s a hindrance."

This one isn't incorrect, per se, because of the semi-colon which stops it from being an incomplete sentence... but it still reads like an incomplete sentence which makes it hard to digest.

"Backdropped to an odd techno song about someone’s proficiently in a ring"

I think you meant proficiency.

" Your futile dash aimed to prolong your life is hinder by three main obstacles;"

Hindered... also should be a colon instead of a semi-colon.

"Leisurely ay first"

AT first.

"The graphics, which share the positive traits of a child’s lemonade stand with some of the letter drawn backwards;"

Letter should be pluralized. Also, this is a totally incomplete sentence. Not sure where you were going with this one...


I've been trying to stay away from nit picks like this but in a piece so short they do stand out rather boldly.

This line is awesome, by the by:

"Your salvation? The helicopter keeping perfect pace with you. The problem? The pilot is clearly enjoying your plight a bit more than he should."

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

That was a lot of stumbles -- many thanks for pointing them out. It was a review I wanted to write after I gave the game a chance after the name dragged me in. Mainly, it gave me something to focus on while my NEXT REVIEW GAME downloaded.

I'm going to regret using that intro if I continue to review some of the XBLI games I've been playing around with. I'll have to find other ways to pad things out a bit. On the other hand, it's nice to be able to spit out a simple review on a simple game now and then. I'm glad this one got across the points -- padding and all.

For us. For them. For you.

haha. If anything, I'm amused with how cleverly you tied the conclusion and intro together. Without it, much of the intro really would have been irrelevant. In any case, I personally don't have a problem with this so-called word limit thing. If the game's too short or too inconsequential to say much about, then who cares if it's short? My problem with that thing is if the review clearly should explain more than it does because it's obvious that the game has a lot more to it. But I imagine that's almost never the case with games like this. To go along with that, I think what you said here was plenty enough, and presented well, too, to give a clear idea of what the game is like.

I did find one more tiny thing in addition to all what Zipp mercifully pointed out.

Because Get to tha Choppa is a shallow point-rush game with the depth and cosmetic values of a simple flash game

should be value only, but that's really nitpicky.

What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

I disagree, my good woman; there are multiple values that are lacking, hence the pural. So there!

For us. For them. For you.