This thread is in response to a review for Peggle on the Xbox 360. You are encouraged to view the review in a new window before reading this thread.
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Author: randxian
Posted: December 22, 2009 (11:47 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
Don't particularly care for the soap box intro. Yes, I understand what you are trying to accomplish here, but it takes almost two full paragraphs of introduction before you finally start discussing the game. There has got to be another way of writing a creative intro that takes up less space.
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Author: PAJ89
Posted: December 23, 2009 (02:27 AM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
Cheers for the feedback. It was very much an experiment for me; my natural style is more structured, but I figured as I'd decided on a 10 score I'd depart from that on this occassion.
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Author: PAJ89
Posted: December 23, 2009 (12:08 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
That's exactly what I was going for. Explaining Peggle without playing it is pretty difficult, which is why I went for that opening paragraph. On italics, I thought it was titles and brand names but not totally sure. Been a while since I last saw you Ben, hope alls well with you. Merry Christmas, and all the best in the New Year.
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Author: randxian
Posted: December 23, 2009 (05:14 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
My main issue is the first paragraph comes off as elitist. I'm just saying perhaps there is a better and less abrasive way of putting this.
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Author: zigfried
Posted: December 23, 2009 (08:02 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
I personally think it's a pretty darn cool intro, although I see Rand's point.
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This message was deleted at the request of randxian, the person who originally posted it.
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