Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW: 5/18 to 5/24, 2008: No Panzer Dragoon wars allowed!

Time for my usual late RotW. My excuse this time: Memorial Day alcohol binge followed by a couple panicky days of getting caught up on the job. Come to think of it, I think all my excuses have the words "alcohol binge" involved somehow. Maybe all those friends, family members and total strangers who say I have a problem are on to something after all. Hmmm......food for thought.....

Anyway, here are the reviews and placements. As always, staffers/freelancers/people I dislike get no recognition and users can only have one review count. If this RotW leads to the naughty sorts of e-drama that Pup's did, rest assured that I WILL abuse the post edit feature to make all involved look like fools. Well, unless one person gives the other an utterly hilarious, yet devastating, slam. In which case, I'll take their side completely and totally ostracize the other person to the point they may look at suicide as the only way out. You hear me, Tristis Usurper? Mainstream Mike?

Alright, now that I puffed myself up and feel like a badass, I submit to you THREE REVIEWS I LIKED!

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Review of the Week: Neverwinter Nights 2 (PC) by dagoss

It wasn't really a matter of having a tough time picking who'd win this week, but which of their two reviews would get the win. In the end, I went with this one, just because there was this certain sort of quirky humor that really won me over. At first, I was like, "WTF are you talking about with this filler opening paragraph?!?!". Then, after reading the second paragraph, I was just amazed. That was a genius way to start this review. Overuse a tactic like this and it'll get tired very quickly. But in the context of this review, it really worked. And it seemed to set the stage for an informative review that, for the most part, hit on all cylinders. The paragraph about the poor dialogue and annoying characters was pure gold -- especially with the surreal mentioning of how, when you're talking to someone about the dangers of lizardmen, you see a group of them going off to burn a barn. And that was just one highlight. About the only qualm I had was that after reading it, I thought a "5" was a bit too generous, as you did have a laundry list of frustrations, but I loved how this review read.

First Runner Up: Fatal Frame (PS2) by sashanan

You know, I've heard about the Fatal Frame games for some time and had considered playing them, as I do like a good survival horror game, but something about the way they sounded to me just didn't click with me as something I'd get into. Probably the whole camera concept. Your review here is the sort of thing that could convince me to give this game a try at some point despite those qualms. Just a well-written, detailed, informative review that doesn't mince any words about the game's weak points, but still gives me a strong feeling that this is a fun, challenging game that has the definite capacity to genuinely freak a player out. You did a great job of conveying how the game's gimmick (the camera) adds to that atmosphere and how, to really damage enemies, you have to put yourself in danger of taking a very damaging hit. Games like this thrive due to their atmosphere and you did a good job of bringing that out in this review.

Second Runner Up: Okami (Wii) by disco

Another review that's detailed and informative. I'd heard plenty of negative things about the Wii's controller and how it relates to this game, so it's good to see a well-written counterpoint, where you refer to them as being more along the lines of minor inconveniences in an otherwise excellent game. Hard to say much else about this review other than it was a very enjoyable read and that if I wasn't already familiar with this game, I'd have learned all I needed to know about it from your review.

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And there were a lot of other good reviews. We had the Felix/Wolfqueen contest, which produced a couple good reviews that were hurt for me by how they're for a genre which I just can't get into reading about, playing or writing about (explaining why Adventures of Lolo has been on my back burner for a year or two). And yes, I did dodge offering my judgment on your little competition just now. I'll get to it this week, but not right now. As well as solid stuff by other writers that made this a pretty fun week as far as reading goes for me.

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I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

OD, let's hold an argument about Neutopia 2.

Congrats to Dagoss for his win. I haven't read this piece yet, but I liked his Gun Nac review a lot, so I'm glad that he got the victory.

Congrats to Sashy and Disco-ey for their placings.

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I don't have to boost my review resume because I have real resume.

Well, what should we argue about? You said that from what you heard from Ruder that it's a crappy game. From what I've played, it seems to be a......crappy game that strips all of Zelda's soul, leaving a hollow clone that might rival the Playstation's Monkey Hero for the coveted "bottom of the barrel" award.

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I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Hm, in that case . . . let's disagree that we agree that the game sucks.

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I don't have to boost my review resume because I have real resume.

Monkey Hero was fun.

You're all fools. Let's fight about it.

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For us. For them. For you.

Go away, me!

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I don't have to boost my review resume because I have real resume.

Oh. Yes. And the most fun part of Monkey Hero, for me, was the time where the game glitched in the first dungeon and a door that was supposed to open when I did something like kill all the enemies in a room didn't trigger and never did no matter what I did and I had to start the whole game over. That was great fun.

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I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Actually, I never beat the game due to a glitch. But I got right near the end and it was quite a lot of fun.

Its forever been on my list of games I want to go back and beat.

ALSO: EmP approves of these reviews. Dagoss' is great.

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For us. For them. For you.

I never thought "great" and "genius" could be used to describe something written by me. Thank you overdrive, Felix, and EmP!

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You called me mainstream, har har!

And we can't hold an argument about Neutopia 2, because Felix's opinion is no longer credible and he should stop making ludicrous comments about games he's obviously never played.

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You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Judging by the images I've seen, Neutopia 2 looks like a fun little game. Judging by what I've heard, it isn't. But when you get past all of the hullabaloo and look at it from the grand scheme of things, no one cares about $6 chip that's just a poor man's Zelda.

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I don't have to boost my review resume because I have real resume.

especially with the surreal mentioning of how, when you're talking to someone about the dangers of lizardmen, you see a group of them going off to burn a barn.

Loved that line, I could picture it precisely. It was one of the best in the review, but it was an entertaining read throughout. Good pick.

Also thanks for the mention, I was happy myself with how that review turned out. Had been dry for like 9 months again.

Second Runner Up: Okami (Wii) by disco

Didn't read. Time to rectify that.

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''Yes, yes...but apart from all that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?''

Neutopia 2 is a fun game. It's a lot like the first one, which is a lot like Zelda. Probably it's not as charming and quaint as Neutopia 1... it tries to be a bit more badass and that makes it less likable. But it's still worth having for fans of the genre. The problem was, as I saw it, that the game was anything but a $6 Hu-Card; it used to be really expensive. Maybe that's changed now.

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I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

I only paid $6, but then I did buy the JP version since I only own a PC Duo. Perhaps the American version is more expensive?

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I don't have to boost my review resume because I have real resume.

Maybe.

How come you haven't played it if you own it? Did I miss something?

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I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

Part of it is due to my laziness. The other part of it stems from having to play through a plethora of seemingly better titles first. At least you tell me it's a fun little game, though. That makes me feel better about the purchase.

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I don't have to boost my review resume because I have real resume.