Forums > Submission Feedback > Cornwell's The Orange Box review

My only gripe with this review is actually highlighted by this line about halfway through:

"Were this just a Half-Life 2 review, I'd fluff it up with more cool examples (and there are plenty) so that I could sneak in some of the flaws while keeping a positive tone."

You then proceed, after quickly discussion some flaws, to fluff up the review with cool examples of HL2E1's awesome. If it's not "just" a Half-Life 2 review, where's all the stuff about cake and momentum? Where are the sandviches and gun turrets? It's a pretty good review, but it's not a review of The Orange Box. It's a review of HL2 episodes with a mention to TF2 and Portal at the end.

TF2 and Portal are hardly "neat diversions". Dismissing them as such only hurts this piece.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

360 TF2's not worth even that kind of offhanded mention.

That said, Half Life 2 is nothing special, either. It's sub-par shooting with the odd noteworthy set peice set in a world where no one does anything but talk for bloody days.

For us. For them. For you.

Wait a minute. I know whose review this is!

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Would you like to share with the class?

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

I'll give you a hint: her name starts with a T.

I head spaceshit noises.

Since I can't get a straight answer out of you people, I suppose I'll just have to ask EmP.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

That said, Half Life 2 is nothing special, either. It's sub-par shooting with the odd noteworthy set peice set in a world where no one does anything but talk for bloody days.

Fail.

I don't have to prove I'm refined - that's what makes me refined!

^ Agreed. Super fail

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

This HL2 bashing is coming from someone who likes Halo and Quake 3 so this really doesn't mean too much to me. :)

IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.

To be fair, I'm only an hour or so in. It's just been a crazy painful hour thus far and I have little drive to play further. But I probably will. Someday

For us. For them. For you.

You might want to finish the game lest you have about as much authority on Half-Life 2 as I have on X-COM.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Maybe, but you don't see me running off to rate the game after only an hour of play or waffeling about it in a review intro. Because that, you see, would be petty and of poor creditability. I'm all about being creditable.

More than anything, I'm trying to get Boo to bite. He's done well to resist the urge thus far.

For us. For them. For you.

i think you're missing out if you don't keep playing, is all. i'm getting past the point of giving a fuck what other people think of games i like.

i will bite on one thing, though: this review was originally deleted for a reason, and you're a cunt.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

I plan to play on. And I know I'll need to do it soon before it becomes another DMC/HL1. Though, come on, that second tram section in HL1 is bloody awful.

For us. For them. For you.

Hahaha. Well since the whole point of me giving that rating was to get under your skin, I'm glad to see it's working.

I actually would have deleted it by now but I can't, so whatever. Although given your response I should actually be lowering it instead.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

I'm fine with you rating it whatever you like. It's not me who's admitting to lowballing games to unsucessfully annoy people. It's simply me feeling smug for winning an internet forum arguement.

I'm off to ring people to tell them the good news. Everyone will want to know.

For us. For them. For you.

I will make biased and unprovoked attacks on X-COM for as long as you act this hilariously defensive about it, EmP.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

And I'll continue to try and lever in the last word. Because it is very important.

For us. For them. For you.

I think this is the most mature I've ever seen you two act. I'm so proud.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe