Forums > Contributor Zone > Because We Hate You 2009

Right! I'm done! I'll link as soon as a staffer hits the 'post' button.

People will be surprised that I ended up going for a traditional review format. Nothing else did it justice. 'Because We Hate You' ended up seeming like a woefully inaccurate name for the tournament. My game was awesome.

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Here it is!

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I've played half of my game, but I don't think I'll be done in time. Got other priorities at the moment, etc.

If I don't post anything in time by the deadline, I still intend to submit a review to the website at some point, partly because I've already invested some time playing said game, and partly because I want to.

...

Looks like a VICIOUS showdown between... me and lewis...

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

I've played my game, so the question is simply whether I'll be able to write a review for it in time. And I'm having trouble reviewing INTERESTING games at the moment, so no promises.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Don't worry, Zipp. My contest-winning entry will be up tomorrow.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Don't worry, Zipp. My contest-winning entry will be up tomorrow.

Ah. Good. I was afraid Lewis might win too easily.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

given the nature of the tourney and considering how it went last time, I'd be pleasantly surprised if turnout was better than half. it takes more effort than most one-offs do.

besides, how many people ever actually post their reviews more than thirty minutes before the deadline?

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

I think Melaisis got his in, too, though maybe not if he didn't post it here yet.

What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Sorry, no go. Haven't found the time to play it sufficiently to write for it.

''Yes, yes...but apart from all that, Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?''

This seems silly. Why not extend the deadline to after the weekend?

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Because They Hate Us?

Idemo do dna....tugo ti i ja.

Wolf is right - General Chaos was my selected game and I managed to sub the review last night. It resembles long-form crap (which all my reviews do if I self-edit on the same day as writing them) though.

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Hrm.

I did finish the review. But it's a dull, formulaic piece, so I'll save the judges some trouble and just not submit.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or you're masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

This seems silly. Why not extend the deadline to after the weekend?

Because everyone's had plenty of time to review a single videogame and I'm not prepared to put myself out further for people who can't be bothered.

For us. For them. For you.

I currently am psyching myself up to finish my review!

WONDER-ROB POWERS......ACTIVATE!!!!!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

I might fall into the same category as Will. The game I was assigned is so fucking insubstantial that there's absolutely nothing interesting to say about it. There's a chance I'll think of something by the end of the day but as of now, I really don't see a contest entry emerging out of this.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

Final Doom

This is my not-so-humble entry which I may revise a bit tonight if I'm feeling up to it.

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

I'm-a have to bow out, too. Sorry, Emp.

"My father, the Emperor, had many powers of the Dark Side. But without three eyes he could never achieve perfection." - Trioculus

Probably won't make this one since I just got home for the first time since Monday evening. Right now I'm exhausted and probably won't be able to do something until much later tonight. I might be able to put something out but I don't want to half-ass it like I did last year. I'm either trying on this one or not doing anything at all.

Maybe I'll review Blackthorne someday. It's a shame since it was a half decent game.

IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.

Boo, Emp, are you going to include (and judge) the mini review I spent all of five minutes writing? >_>

Because, really, it's Metal Slug. What did you expect, some flowery piece where I talked about the nature of life and death and the poetry of shooting giant crabs?

I can avoid death by not having a life.

Suskie, Will... just submit them, guys. Are they really that bad, your reviews? I can't imagine that they are, knowing you are both fine writers.

EmP is absolutely right. Most main review sites/mags give their reviewers a day or two (week for a JPRG) to check out their games and then a day (maybe) to write the review. It's something I've had to keep in mind as I continue reviewing whilst going to school. Completion of a game isn't always necessary. You just need to get a feel for how it works and then post!

Save the lengthy in depth analysis for games of true substance... like Metal Slug.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

http://www.honestgamers.com/systems/content.php?review_id=8437&gametitle=Fading+Shadows

Fading Shadows. Did this in a hurry.

Idemo do dna....tugo ti i ja.

Hahahaha. My game's not even on the database. I guess I should've asked about that (though I think the reason I waited so long was that I just thought it'd be easier to get one of the staff to do it privately *coughempcough*, and then I forgot altogether. Oh well). LOL Guess if it's not up by tonight, you're all getting a review in my blog... provided I can get one out in time.

What espiga does in his free time
[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Okay, good news. I expanded my mini review into an actual review.

I can avoid death by not having a life.