Forums > Contributor Zone > Because We Hate You 2009

This has definitely been one of the hardest reviews of my career. I'm taking the opportunity to try out some things and see how they hold up "in court," so to speak. I've gone all over the place with this one, though. Originally I wrote it as a recipe. Yeah, recipe format for a review. It was meant to be all clever and shit... and it was!

But I wasn't satisfied.

The thing that keeps throwing me is that I actually think my game is a good game to the right crowd. I really want to speak out to that crowd and I'm trying to decide the best way to do it. The problem is I'm definitely NOT a member of that crowd, so I'm trying to figure out the best angle.

There. My "progress blog" for the night.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

Going to have to retire from this tournament unfortunately, due to external circumstances. I've moved to uni and have no TV, and have no computer (thought I would've had one sooner) making matters awkward somewhat. When I'm back in the biz with a dazzling laptop though, I'll be back on HG!

There three types of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.

I should be able to finish the game this weekend but will be gone Monday to Thursday. I'm definitely going to try to get something done but it will be an 11PM Friday night job.

IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.

Well, mine has finally reached adulthood and is preparing to enter the scary world of fellow reviews. I should have the full draft done tomorrow night with a planned final release on Sunday night.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

Man what happened to the fun in reviewing? Two years ago, I used to be able to shit talk half these goons and get some real competition. Now they're coming to tournaments with skirts and play Tetris on the toilet. What happened?

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If I can review my game based on the trial only, I will. It's like one fifth of the game, and since I don't like level 1, I doubt I'm gonna like the rest of the levels. I also feel I might be missing the true essence of the game by not having anyone to play co-op, as is usually the case in the arcade version.

I can avoid death by not having a life.

Would it help FFM if I pointed out that you need to actually provide competition in order to get it out of other people?

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you're definitely missing out on the game, Jerec. maybe you'll still hate it, but the first level isn't the best (I still like it!) and besides, there are tons of games I haven't dug at first.

it would also probably hurt your review. just probably, but probably.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

Since I don't have enough to form a full review, I'm just gonna give it a mini review.

Metal Slug 3 (XBLA)

It's dreadful, but it's quite short.

Run, shoot, die, repeat. Blast mutant crabs and foot soldiers, and trucks and stuff. Rescue the numerous Castaway Mel Gibsons Tom Hanks's and then die a few more times. Collect some powerups but then lose them when you die again. Replay the first level if you want to take an alternate path under the sea where you battle subs and fish and whatever else.

If you want to play a few more levels which are probably much the same, then sure, spend 800 points to unlock the trial. That is, if you're into this sort of thing. I'm not.

5/10

I can avoid death by not having a life.

I've actually finished Metal Slug 3. Of course, on a game with unlimited lives/continues, how could I not have?

Working hard on my assignment - I was already familiar with the game but never played it past the first hour, so yesterday I played the first hour. Now to see if I can tear myself loose from WoW long enough to play some more.

"Deep in the earth I faced a fight that I could never win. The blameless and the base destroyed, and all that might have been. -- GK"

Castaway starred Tom Hanks.

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noted. >_>

I can avoid death by not having a life.

I think I've got off really lucky with my game. Like, its not that good, but I don't think its as bad as what some of you have been handed.

Also Radical; I read your blog ont' topic of the recruitment scam you fell into. Spectacular stuff, and I've been through something very similar.

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I have to bow out -- at this point, my game is way too long to finish in time. I kind of blew my weekends on other stuff lately.

//Zig

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Alright, alright, it's almost ready. I've changed my mind on this one more times than I care to count. It must be all that Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 I'm playing... damn Civil War and its constant switching of sides.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

done and done

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

Metal Slug 3's an awesome game.

"My father, the Emperor, had many powers of the Dark Side. But without three eyes he could never achieve perfection." - Trioculus

Oh, um, what's the deadline for this? I mean, I kind of have an angle, but no words so far.

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October 9. It was stealthily added to the original post.

I head spaceshit noises.

Fuck. I'd better write this in the next few hours then.

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I think this and Dead Space were the longest reviews I've written, in terms of time taken to write them.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

No worries, Lewis. At least you've played your game! =D Mad dash ftw!

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Right! I'm done! I'll link as soon as a staffer hits the 'post' button.

People will be surprised that I ended up going for a traditional review format. Nothing else did it justice. 'Because We Hate You' ended up seeming like a woefully inaccurate name for the tournament. My game was awesome.

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Here it is!

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Looks like a VICIOUS showdown between... me and lewis...

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."