Forums > Contributor Zone > Because We Hate You 2009

Last year, for kicks, me and my bespectacled tubby side kick thought it would be kind of fun to put a tourney together where we picked the games the reviewer’s played. And, because we were arses then (and maybe even more so now -- see how I take a shot at my co-commish in the very first line of this topic) we used this as an excuse to make some of you suffer. But we learned things. We learned that the first Quake is an internet myth that doesn’t really exist, that fire-fighting MEGA CD games are actually some kind of insane narcotic (with the drawback of putting the user in a month-spanning coma) and that it’s the reviewers you expect the least who often come up trumps when you turn things around on them.

And now, we’re going to do it again. Because We Hate You (2009).

Here’s a rules breakdown for the dumb (and a refresher for Boo): Contestants give us a list of those consoles they can emulate and those they can legitimately play, as well as how good their PCs are and what their budget (if any) is. They will then be given a game assignment though HGMail, which they are free to discuss openly or keep a secret from the rest of the field. If, for whatever reason, the given game isn’t going to happen, we’ll often work with you to find something else. This isn’t a free pass to cry off your choice, though -- the tourney’s name isn’t Because We Hate You just because we enjoy its understated eloquence.

Keep in mind that the expected budget is $0, and it wouldn't bother us a bit if you were all cheap. It's just a way for us to make some more interesting picks if some of you have a few dollars to toss around, and we might not have to make use of it even if you post it. Most of this will happen through the wonders of emulation, which naturally, we're willing to help with. Mention systems even if it's the case, since we both have too many weird games lying around and might ship a few out here and there if need be. It's just a way for us to make some more interesting picks if some of you have a few dollars to toss around. This will not be an excuse for class warfare, with HG's famous socialites getting Madworld and Gears of War. We’ll help with emu problems when the need arises, and will give it about a week before we start spitting picks out.

If you want to see how this went down last year, then this entire paragraph is an archive link!

We’re not going to set any time limits yet. We know a lot of you are still feeling TT burn, so consider this loose time frame a chance to solidify your game early so you can plot and plan. The only reason not to sign up for this is because you're lame and have not played Operation Wolf. Like Boo. You Don’t want to be like Boo, do you?

[ed: the same boo who whipped your ass in the semis?]
[eded: and the same I smashed week 4, yes.]

I'm sure you've figured out what the judging panel will be, but no need to fear. Critiques will be separate this time, and no Leroux, we won't forget to put the game names in the results topic either. It was an interesting idea, but our opinions can be so similar that most of the critiques were two sentences agreeing with each other and then moving on. We also will not reserve the right to not read your reviews, make some shit up, and then flip coins.

What follows is the bit where you list your names and we make your life hell.

Deadline:

9th October

Judges:

EmP & Boo

Victims:

Zipp
Lewis
OD
DE
Pickhut
WQ
Jerec
genj
Melaisis

For us. For them. For you.

fuck off, I don't wear glasses and I got in shape.

also, just to emphasize, we're willing to help with emulation. don't feel limited if all you've done is dick around with ZSNES for a few hours once. and we are 100% cool with most of you not wanting to drop any money on something like this, it's just an extra option.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

Okay, I'm in. The worst I can do is be a no show like several other times I sign up for contests. At best, I might actually write something.

Oh yeah, budget is in the $20 AUD range, so bargain bin titles, downloadable titles for Wii or 360 are fine.

Anyway,

360/Xbox
Wii/GC
PS2/PS1
N64
DS/GBA
PC (nothing newer than 2004ish, unless it's low spec)

I can avoid death by not having a life.

almighty Fatness (1:39:18 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:39:18 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:39:19 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:39:20 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:39:21 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:40:06 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:40:06 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:40:08 AM): do it
almighty Fatness (1:40:08 AM): do it

Fine.

Systems: Genesis, Super Nintendo that only works in B&W, Game Boy Advance SP, Saturn, Dreamcast that has a thing for freezing certain games after a bit of heating, PS2, Xbox, and a Xbox 360. As for PC, I have XP, and it usually works well for any game before 2004-ish.

Emulation: Anything not involving 3D graphics, basically. So, anything before Saturn and PS.

Budget: $60

I head spaceshit noises.

(1:44:38 AM) almighty Fatness: YES

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

Yeah, I'm in. But seriously, no graphic/CG/FMV/whatever games this time. I'm not asking that my assigned game be good, just tolerable. You've already seen what happens when I'm forced to play that shit anyways.

Readily have access to a Wii, DS and now a PS3 NO I DID NOT BUY ONE, two of my roommates have them. Also I can obviously play GameCube games on the Wii, but I'm not paying for anything so it's probably pointless.

I have emulators for:

NES
SNES
Genesis
Sega CD
N64
PSX
Game Boy Advance

Anything else that's reasonably easy to emulate I can probably manage too.

You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.

I'll give this a try but I'm not spending money. If a PC game is free and will run without DOSbox I can do that. BTW I pretty much only play PC games so I can run anything on the market right now. Actually maybe I'll try a game if it's really cheap, but I'm not spending a dime more than $10. I prefer free.

I have emulators for:
NES
SNES
Genesis
Turbografx 16
Possibly GBA, PSX, and N64 (do this as last resort, too lazy to check)

Used to have MAME and DOSbox but not anymore. :(

Most games I've played minus some sports titles and a few I probably missed are in my ratings section.

IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.

haha, paying money for a PC game. you're adorable.

Oh no, it's a Goomba!

iPhone
Genesis
360

budget: £5

"fuck yeah oblivion" - Jihad

Oh god, why am I doing this?

NES/SNES
Genesis
PSX/2/3
Awesome PC

New webmonkey job means I could reasonably purchase a brand-new title in the name of this competition. However the fact that I will probably hate it means I'm not willing to spend more than $20. Unless it's on a PC game.

"Either, sir, you're an ass or masquerading as one."
- Nero Wolfe

Right. I'm in, but going to be fairly awkward to try to get you to assign me some bizarre PC indie thing that's either free or cheapo and I don't have to faff with emulation. Alternatively, you won't, so can play on PC, 360 or PS2 (hopefully Gamecube soon, if I can get a-hold of one, but probably best try to hold back on GC games).

Budget... don't really wanna spend more than £5. That includes XBL membership too, since I'm offline at the moment.

PC Specs:

Old.

Actual PC Specs:

WinXP 64
P4 3.2Ghz
2GB RAM
512MB GeForce 8600 video
Enough hard drive space
Occasionally faulty DVD drive so DL preferable.

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I may be a no-show too as I may still be on the rebound from the TT. But the experience may be entertaining. I'd like to know what you guys would give me.

PC(nothing too new as my graphics card is lousy)
GBA/GBC/GameBoy
SNES
NES/FDS
Genesis
Sega Master
Apple
Commodore
Arcade
TG16
My PSX and Dreamcast are probably still workable as is my N64.

Budget: $0, but if you guys have a game to send me, I'll chip in with PayPal, because I'd rather send the money to you than to someone I don't know, or to a Giant Corporate Entity. If you find a special game I may pay $10.

So one thing I didn't see...how long will we have?

My principal said, 'Emo, Emo, Emo.'
I said 'I'm the one in the middle, you lousy drunk!'
-- Emo Phillips

Systems: Most of the emulated consoles of old, PC games that are not too ground breakingly new(my computer is shit, so up to let's say...2006-2007), Psone, Ps2, PsP, DS.

Budget: I steal games anyway. Yarr.

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I like this contest, so I accept.

NES, SNES, Gen, SMS, GameGear, Game Boy Game Boy Color, Game Boy Advance, TG-16......are all systems I'm emulating at any given time.

PS, PS2, 360 are all systems I own.

If you go for the latter, just keep it reasonably cheap (aka: not some brand new $60 game......especially under the idea of, "Hehehe.....that dumb bastard's gonna fucking HATE this!!!!!!!!"

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Fine. You know what I have, but I'll list it anyway.

PC: lousy graphics. Could barely run HL2 on here.

NES and Genesis. Though I may be willing to download some other emulator if absolutely necessary. Just hope that you catch me in a good / non-lazy mood as I'm busy with school.

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

My system list is limited to PS3 (which includes PS2 and PS1), SNES, Mac, and the DS (includes advance) and PSP.

I've never managed to get emulation software working on my Mac, but I've never tried all that intensely and probably could do it with some help.

I'm in.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

Emulation:
NES
SNES
Genesis
GBA
N64
Willing to try other emulated consoles

Own:
PS2/X
GC

Budget: $15 USD

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Haha I messed up my PC a few years back from downloading a game and have been kind of afraid of it ever since. For some reason I don't mind downloading ROMs, though.

IF YOU WANT MORE BEATS FOR YOUR BUCK THERE'S NO LUCK.

Here's my lineup:

DS
PSP
PS3/2/1
Wii/Cube

I know I have a GBA emu and an ancient version of MAME on this PC, maybe an SNES. Could probably do others.

Budget: Have a GameFly subscription, so theoretically I can get anything they have. Not crazy about spending anything extra.

Buy -> Opium!

I will sign up. I have most game systems. But not shit ones like the Jaguar, 3DO, or PS3.

//Zig

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I was going to look up my results for last year, then realized that while I did write my review, it was well out of time for the contest.

But I don't mind another shot. I could list that I own a DS, a PS1, a PS2, a Sega Master, a Sega Megadrive, a NES and a PC that smoothly plays World of Warcraft, but what would be the point? You'll just assign me another old game that I first have to find an emulator for.

"Deep in the earth I faced a fight that I could never win. The blameless and the base destroyed, and all that might have been. -- GK"

Yoyoyo! I can now partake in another competition after my much mourned absnece from the Team Tournament. Not even wolfqueen's/dagoss's invite could cheer me up.

Anyway...

Can emulate anthing up to the N64. Don't mind downlaoding a new emulator, and am about to see if I can emualate the Dreamcast or Saturn. Watch this space!

EDIT: Tried DC emulator, not Saturn. Willing to do one of those if requested, compatibility permitting.

I own:

Master System, Mega Drive, Game Boy Color/Advance, DS, and a PC (Radeon 9600pro, 1GB RAM, 2.8Ghz P4) Also have a Wii but I won't be able to take it to uni when I go on the 17th.

There three types of people in this world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Wow. This is a frickin bonanza. All these people happy and excited risk Because We Hate You getting misnomered into a lovefest.

My principal said, 'Emo, Emo, Emo.'
I said 'I'm the one in the middle, you lousy drunk!'
-- Emo Phillips

Like I said before, I'll join but I'd really appreciate something that doesn't take too much of a time commitment to play ("no RPGs" should be fine).

Can emulate:

NES
SNES
Genesis
GBA/GB/GBC


I've been able to emulate PSX & Saturn in the past but I'd like to avoid torrenting.

The only thing I have with me at school is my DS. I'd be willing to spend $20 but only $10 if it's some shovelware crap like Hannah Montana.

_