Forums > Submission Feedback > Melaisis's TrackMania United Forever (Import) review

Walls of text. I thought there was some form of editing that went on behind the scenes to make sure freelancers didn't sub such difficult to read reviews to the site?

And MartinG didn't write this.

I don't have to boost my review resume because I have a real resume.

Ugh. Didn't enjoy getting this one in my RSS.

Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.

I have modified the review to break down the walls of text. This one in my opinion should have spent a lot longer in the revision process. Melaisis is a newer freelancer for the site and this isn't the illustrious start we might have hoped for, but there are extenuating circumstances that worked against him in this case.

Let's just say that we're a bit short-handed right now and working to really develop our UK team, which of course is difficult to do at the moment with EmP's computer out of commission.

In any event, I think the review communicated the important points about how the game works, even though it's a rough bit of writing (perhaps an odd choice of words, since for me the biggest flaw is that it feels over-written). We're still committed to providing the high-quality staff reviews you've come to expect and you can rest assured that we'll work diligently with Melaisis and other freelancers to ensure that their future works meet those standards whenever possible.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2

I agree with the slightly overwritten point, which does create some confusion. For example, at one point he says it's "often considered a compilation," which is a fairly strange phrasing.

Generally, a compilation is something that either "is" or "isn't," in the way we think of compilations in a gaming sense (Mario All-Stars, Taito Classics, whatever). "Often considered a compilation" might make sense if I made a game called "Mario Classics" that didn't feature any previous Mario games. It might often considered to be a compilation by people that hadn't played it (because it's a misnomer), but isn't.

I understand what this phrase means in the review -- essentially, Trackmania is a compilation of elements from prior Track games -- but it's a hiccup where I have to go back and read again to establish more context. And then I still question the wording.

I think it's especially important to encourage new writers, but putting their mistakes front and center as freelancers might not be the best idea for them or for the site (or for keeping Joe-nonfreelancer happy, because a lot of guys look up to staff as examples of what to do). But then again, circumstances aren't always ideal, and into the fire is a lot of times the best way to learn -- just be aware of potential heat.

Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.

This is my fault. Mel sent me a draft of the review, but as I only have very limited 'net access, I could do no more than scan it.

This isn't the guy's first gig, and he's a talented writer who was given a difficult genre to cover in the first place. I'll make him aware of this topic, because constructive critisim is always a good thing to have.

But, all in all, if this is the only negative my absence brings, we can consider it all a minor miricle.

For us. For them. For you.

Yeah, cheers for the feedback guys. I hail from a long line of long-winded writers; whilst that sort of style goes down well at fiction clubs and when it comes to in-depth features, it probably isn't the best when it comes to the lesser-known games especially. Heck, I was even impressed at myself when it came to how much I'd actually written. Trackmania is a hard subject, and someone has already pointed out about the whole 'considered a complication' point. Again, it is because it includes elements and accessibility to other games in the franchise, as well as bringing new things to the table. Its like being able to play Pokemon Blue with someone who has Pokemon Silver.

Furthermore, due to it being part of a very long series, there's a huge temptation there for me to divulge into the specifics of gameplay, which I feel I did quite successfully (albeit at length). As for formatting: I wasn't actually able to put screenshots up at the time of posting, so that will explain the whole 'wall of text' point.

Finally, EmP's computer problems have proved an annoyance, as I did send it off to be proof-read (or edited ruthlessly), yet due to technicalities, this wasn't as successful as it should have been.

All the same, I've been playing another game of late which gives me a great deal less to talk about, heh. Thanks for the comments, guys.

Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.

Finally, EmP's computer problems have proved an annoyance, as I did send it off to be proof-read (or edited ruthlessly), yet due to technicalities, this wasn't as successful as it should have been.

EmP generally handles proofing on the UK side of things, but with his computer down for the count there's also the option of submitting to the freelance forum. The strategy there is that you submit the review, I go through and make revisions for grammar and flow and such and then post a recommended update. You look it over and say "Yeah, I'll post that" or "You changed what I meant here" and it's an easy way to polish before a draft goes live. Depending on how long EmP's computer takes to sort itself out, keep that in mind for the future until he's back in the swing of things.

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality

"What if everything you see is more than what you see--the person next to you is a warrior and the space that appears empty is a secret door to another world? What if something appears that shouldn't? You either dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than you think. Perhaps it really is a doorway, and if you choose to go inside, you'll find many unexpected things." - Shigeru Miyamoto on secret doors to another world2