Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW for 8/9 to 8/15, 2009: A celebration of TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS' playoff run!

In celebration of TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS, here is the only RotW done by a member of this legendary group. None of the eight writers who competed for this award this week are members of TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS, for that is not their right; however, one person eligible for placement will be honored this week by being defeated in mortal combat by a TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS representative.

TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS announces the rules are as follows: only one rule per person, only users (ie: no staff reviews) allowed to compete, the rulings of TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS' Grand Leader of Firestorms, Devastation and Tsunami-ramas are final. And now, let my judgment sweep the land!

*awed hush*


THIRD PLACE: God of War (PS2) by zippdementia

"Guh, another God of War review," brave Overdrive murmured mournfully..... This site loves it some manly brawler, with people trying to out-eloquentize each other on the glorious feeling of slamming a battle axe into another's skull (PROTIP: It's even more fun in real life!). I won't deny the simple fact I've read a LOT about this game might have weakened this review in my eyes, but in a way, it might have helped, as you threw me for a loop at the beginning. Very nice intro, detailing a glitch that forced you to start from scratch, which leads into the more standard fare of how badass Kratos is and how fun the fighting is. I have to admit that you're a bit more understanding and flippant about major issues like a glitch forcing you to start over. No matter how much I like a game, it's a major blow to my enjoyment when something like that happens to me. But to each their own, I guess. I enjoyed the review and that's all that matters as far as this one specific RotW thread goes.

SECOND PLACE: Ka-Ge-Ki - Fists of Steel (Gen) by dogma

So, you have a really bad game without much substance to it and you're planning to review it. What do you do? Many writers, including myself at times, wind up over-explaining the badness to the point where what we're saying loses its impact eventually. Dogma doesn't. His first sentence ("Let's not drag this out too much, it hurts.") is appropriate, as he doesn't drag things out in writing a short, tight review that leaves no doubt as to how unappealing his subject matter is. The section of one-line paragraphs detailed a fallen foe ("Did I remember to pay the phone bill?") is chuckle-worthy and the review as a whole is an excellent example on how to say what you have to say without wasting words or getting tiresome WHILE still maintaining some clever wit. MINOR NITPICK ALERT: It's "backpedal", not "back-peddle"

OVERDRIVE PLACE: Aladdin (Gen) by JANUS2

And with this win, JANUS2 earns the designation of being an honorary member of TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS! Just kidding.....that ain't happening, but you do win RotW. It's kinda hard to explain what exactly makes this review the best of the week, but I'll try. You do a great job of offering vivid descriptions (your line about the transformation of the Cave of Wonders, for example); you describe the gameplay and how the levels fit into it. Well.....I guess the best way is just to use your one line, "Aladdin is definitely not a case of style over substance." and alter it to mean your review of Aladdin. There's a lot of style in this review, but it also contains all the substance needed to let me know there are legit and valid reasons behind your love of this title and that I'd probably really enjoy it if I gave it a whirl. Wonderfully written review, here.



Overall, twas a strong week, as all eight reviews impressed me and made it tricky to winnow things down to three. I will mention that ASchultz deserves credit for reviewing a text-only game in such a way that I could visualize what was going on. Hopefully that credit is fine consolation to him as his tournament season ends this week at the hands of TEAM ENIGMATIC CHAOS!

I'm not afraid to die because I am invincible
Viva la muerte, that's my goddamn principle

Thanks for the mention, Overdrive. My reviews may not be the most ambitious but I am glad that they are entertaining nonetheless.

P.S. good thinking getting this done early. Too late, and there might be no playoff run to celebrate!

My principal said, 'Emo, Emo, Emo.'
I said 'I'm the one in the middle, you lousy drunk!'
-- Emo Phillips

Now that was unexpected! I kind've busted that God of War review out on a whim and wasn't truly happy with it, especially after reading Zig's awe-inspiring review of the same game. Still, the one thing I WAS really fond of was that opening and it seems it was for good reason!

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

Thanks Overdrive, I enjoyed writing that review so I'm glad my enthusiasm came across well.

"fuck yeah oblivion" - Jihad