Forums > Submission Feedback > randxian's Legacy of the Wizard review

Is this a resubmit? I swear I remember reading this before. That, or I'm having the hugest deja vu of my life. In the original, didn't you also go into some detail about a dog, or something?

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

Yes, this is a resubmit. I did chop a sentence about the dog (or whatever that thing is). There was never a whole section devoted to the dog/pet/pink thing, however.

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

Intro: Excellent introduction, here. I like an introduction which tells us exactly what we're going to be reading about. It's just basic good writing.

2nd Para: Take out the "for example." You aren't giving us an example, you're listing all the choices. It's different. You also have a strange transition in here when you go from character choice to dungeon. Why do you mention the town and the lush blue sky and all that? Is there a point to it? Either expand on that or jump straight to the dungeon crawling.

3rd Para: again, transition is strange. Why are we suddenly talking about ammo? Also, for us to understand why not having magic ammo is a problem, we need to know what magic does for us. Is it how we kill things? Is it how we heal? Explain further.

5th Para: On the matter of inns, is there anything else to spend gold on? If not, then isn't that why the inns are there? Does backtracking to them take a lot of time? Your review has a great sense of distaste about it, in that I've clearly picked up that you don't like this game. Yet sometimes it's not clear exactly why you dislike it.

I pretty much like everything after this point, it ramps up to a nice conclusion. There are a couple things I noticed...

8th Para: You've already mentioned cryptic clues in the last paragraph. Why bring it up again? In fact, this entire paragraph is just a summary of the paragraph before it. It's redundant.

9th Para: This line doesn't quite work for me:

Legacy of the Wizard looks good at first glance with the colorful schemes , the pleasant soundtrack, and the variety of enemies. However, the game is fool's gold due to all the fundamental flaws.

The reason it doesn't work is because of all those things you list which make the game good, you've barely covered two of them and you didn't ever talk about the variety of enemies. The soundtrack you don't have to say much about, you could probably stand to go into a little more detail on the colour, and you definitely need to at least briefly discuss the variety of enemies.

Hopefully this has all been helpful.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."