This thread is in response to a review for One Piece: Going Baseball - Kaizoku Yakyuu on the Game Boy Advance. You are encouraged to view the review in a new window before reading this thread.
Add a new post within this thread...
Author: aschultz
Posted: July 19, 2009 (10:24 AM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
...so that's where your blog avatar comes from!
My principal said, 'Emo, Emo, Emo.' |
Author: randxian
Posted: July 19, 2009 (01:05 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
Thanks for the feedback. The questions you posed here seem fair and probably something that should be worked in somehow.
I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? |
Author: honestgamer
Posted: July 19, 2009 (03:51 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
This is a pretty solid review that will probably be improved by the suggestions you've already received (which I've not actually read, but I know that Andrew tends to make good points). One point I have: removing "As a matter of fact," from your review (you use it twice) would probably improve it. Those are filler words and they sort of stand out here. Since you don't seem to be stating your opinion in the remainder of each sentence, the reader is likely going to assume that it's fact and there's no reason to say that explicitly. Anyway, it's a good start to a potentially great review. Even as-is, it gets in, gets the job done and leaves me with a solid impression of how things play.
"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy on reality |
Author: randxian
Posted: July 19, 2009 (06:00 PM) Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums... |
Thanks. I removed those phrases. You're right; it does read much better this way.
I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? |
User Help | Contact | Ethics | Sponsor Guide | Links