Forums > Submission Feedback > aschultz's Number Munchers review

Wow, this sure is a pleasant stroll down memory lane. I only played this game a few times in my first grade class, but I remember loving it.

I like how you cover all aspects of the game: the game board, troggles, different settings, and those awesome cut scenes. I particularly like how you make suggestions to make the game potentially challening for older players. That's a good heads up call to make this game relevant to your audience.

My only problem is I think there are a few awkward run-on sentences. One exmaple is found in your intro "It's more exciting than some lousy flash cards or even chalkboard problem solving races, and it has high score lists, with names, for each sub-game, and it, along with Oregon Trail and the Carmen Sandiego series, has been remade over the years." To me, that reads a bit clunky. While too many short and choppy sentences are just as bad, if not worse, I don't want every other sentence to be roughly paragraph length.

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?

Randxian--good find. I seem to remember this sentence ran on a bit, but Word 2000 didn't catch it. So I just wrote a perl script to flag sentences over 200 characters. I often have sentences like this in early drafts, where I tend to err on the side of writing them too long. I find it's easier to break them up later than to combine two too-short sentences.

I appreciate the work you've put into hunting these things down in my last couple of reviews & am glad you enjoyed the review. It got a bit in the way of sanding down my review for tomorrow's team tourney, but I think it led to other ideas I should have written.

My principal said, 'Emo, Emo, Emo.'
I said 'I'm the one in the middle, you lousy drunk!'
-- Emo Phillips