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Forums > Submission Feedback > randxian's Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon review

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Author: Suskie
Posted: April 20, 2009 (01:16 AM)
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You've obviously committed yourself to improving your reviewing skills on HG (which is great) so here's my advice for this review: You should work on making your introductions a bit snappier. The intro is one of the most critical components of any review because if you don't draw your readers in from the get-go, they're not going to stick around for the rest. The basic facts you present at the start are important, but you'd be better suited to incorporate them into the later parts of your review.

I'm only saying this because I think your analysis of the game is insightful -- you definitely have the potential to become a great reviewer, and the one thing you definitely need to work on is organization, i.e. composing the parts of your review into something more fluid and natural-feeling. I'm glad, for example, that your reviews aren't sectioned (that is, divided into clear, labeled segments for gameplay, graphics, sound. etc.) but the last few paragraphs convey a similarly awkward flow. Try to work the technical aspects into your commentary rather than holding them off until the end.

I know it's tough, and this is the kind of thing you'll get better with as time goes by. You're in the right place if you want to improve your writing. Read reviews by other contributors, keep reviewing yourself, and you'll improve on a regular basis.


You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.


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Author: randxian
Posted: April 20, 2009 (09:25 PM)
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Hm, didn't realize my intros aren't that great. Guess it does make sense now that I look at it. Thanks for pointing that out.

I'm aware I need to work on how to incoporate the graphics and sound into the rest of the reivew, but I haven't quite figured out a good way to do that yet. At least I couldn't for this game.


I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?


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Author: Suskie
Posted: April 20, 2009 (09:38 PM)
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Yeah, and unfortunately I really don't have any direct advice in that regard, other than to say, again, that it's just something you'll get better with as time goes by.


You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it.


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