Forums > Contributor Zone > RotW 29/3-4/4.

Rub your unbelieving eyes because, yes, it’s EmP again, rocking the RotW like only he can. Masters has had an unfortunate case of being too Canadian to do his slot this week, and he’s very, very sorry, so, one begging IM later, and here comes your hero. He’s British, and he probably doesn’t like you.

The rules remain the same. You get one shot at immortality unless you reside on staff, in which case you get nothing. There’s been some atypical efforts mixed in with the more expect staple reviews you might expect from our library of talented writers. If this week had a theme, the theme would be GAMBLE! Some profited and some were doomed to the murky depths of non-placement, but EmP appreciates you all! Just not equally.
Turducken: Resident Evil: Gaiden

I’ve already said that I like the review in the writer’s feedback thread, so I’ll do so again now. Because I kind of have to.

It’s always a risk to try and turn your review into a fanfic and Tur took the extra risk of making his a constantly sarcastic and lampooning effort that exists to do nothing but shoot its subject matter in the kneecaps the hit it with a German suplex. There’s a lot of series knowledge exhibited within, including numerous sly nods to games that predate or game after Gaiden which I appreciate as a long-running Res-head and it way it’s written affords the writer to make him complaints in an amusing and unique fashion. Instead of complaining statically about how you can’t pick up shotgun shells without a shotgun and how the game ended for you because of an inventory flaw, you integrate it and tell the reader without actually spelling it out. It’s effective and clever writing that makes a long review not feel like it’s that long at all.

The risk worked; the bulldoze your way through this one with a mixture of personality and convincing series knowledge. Good job; this gamble paid off.

Pickhut: Beyond OasisStory of Thor

I’ll let you off getting the game’s name wrong for no other reason than my infinite well of forgiveness, and that I liked seeing someone take on a game I really enjoyed in the past. You cover it well, too; you’re quite right in saying that Oasis is a patchwork game borrowing from several genres and nailed it when you put the brawling aspect at the forefront. I think I probably enjoyed the game a bit more than you (it’s always been one that stuck in my mind for an eventual reply) but I agree with everything you’ve said and how you’ve gone about explaining it all.

Felix: Metal Slug 3

Felix’s argument drips with merit in which he justifies the very odd position he’s placed himself in by claiming that a game he acknowledges as great should deserve a lacking score. And, let’s face it, he’s right. The XBOX’ fully-commercial release of the third ‘slug game predated by only a few years the complete compilation of Metal Slug being released on a same generation console for a budget price. It’s a brave argument to make and it’s one that is made convincingly.
Randxian puts forth some solid reviews, but they all suffer from some clumsiness, be it missing or overused words (examples available upon request) and Ashultz works off more and more rust with dry but appreciated efforts (even if they are just to continue to destroy everyone on HGWars). I have more to say on Lewis’ efforts than this wrap-up will allow, so it’s extra feedback for you, and Woodhouse wrote a great review which I had to think long and hard before omitting from the top three. If I missed anyone, then it’s worth note that I’m not even supposed to be here today -- blame Masters. You can find him in Canada.

Get well soon, buddy.

For us. For them. For you.

Thanks for the mention and congratulations to those above me! It's good to be back and to see what other people are doing to make reviews exciting, and somehow, when they place ahead of me in RotW, it gives me motivation to try to experiment more than I would just writing in a bubble, or just seeing what is on the "what's new" page.

By the way, if I pull over/rewrite a bunch of GameFAQs reviews, can I specify 1 or 2 that I feel are most worth looking at, so RotWers have that much less to do? I want to redo a lot of reviews, and HG points are a nice motivator, but quite frankly I recognize the redos may not be that exciting to most people.

My principal said, 'Emo, Emo, Emo.'
I said 'I'm the one in the middle, you lousy drunk!'
-- Emo Phillips

I would advise against it, simply because you never know what will work with different people and what won't. Something you put up that you might not represent you best might instead click with someone else who will disagree with your initial personal rankings.

For us. For them. For you.

You put me down for using the wrong title, then you go on to use it in the paragraph! I'm giving wolfqueen your phone number as punishment.

Thanks for the comments on the review, though. The way I wrote the review sounded good in my head, but by the time I was finishing it up, I had my doubts about my point actually getting across to the reader. So, it's comforting to know that someone got it.

Congrats to Turducken on his RotW placement, and to Felix on getting a runner-up mention.

I head spaceshit noises.

Uh-oh. Now I'll never leave him alone! =D

XD

(Cograts to the winners!)

[Eating EmP's brain] probably isn't a good idea. I mean... He's British, which means his brain's wired for PAL and your eyes are NTSC. - Will

Story of Thor is a much better name. Even if it makes no sense whatsoever.

I've owned the saturn sequel for countless years now and have yet to play it even once.

For us. For them. For you.

I still dunno why you like that poop review, but thanks all the same.

Burp.

"My father, the Emperor, had many powers of the Dark Side. But without three eyes he could never achieve perfection." - Trioculus

I'll admit that Turducken's review has grown on me. It took time for me to get it, but never let it be said that Zipp is unwilling to change his opinion!

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

I realize this topic is old by now and you probably forgot the examples you would provide for me, but do you happen to remember anything specific?

Really appreciate the feedback you've given me so far though. Now at least I have a sense of direction.

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?