Ads are gone. We're using Patreon to raise funds so we can grow. Please pledge support today!
Google+   Facebook button  Twitter button 
3DS | DS | PS3 | PS4 | PSP | VITA | WII | WIIU | X360 | XB1 | All

Forums > Submission Feedback > fleinn's Rise of the Argonauts review

This thread is in response to a review for Rise of the Argonauts on the PlayStation 3. You are encouraged to view the review in a new window before reading this thread.

Add a new post within this thread...

board icon
Author: zippdementia
Posted: March 07, 2009 (03:07 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

I have to say, this isn't a very solid review. To be more precise (and helpful) I would say that your ideas and content are good, but your presentation is lacking. A good writer on this site once told me never to use lists in my reviews. I was younger in those days, and more arrogant (a whole three months ago). I scoffed at the advice in public... but behind the scenes I took a look at what he was talking about and realized he was right, by George!

In any case, never use lists. As Yahtzee once said of a menstruating woman falling off a tall building, it breaks flow.

Also, your introduction, while a solid idea, just doesn't read well. You break up your sentences at weird spots and use grammar that almost works... but doesn't really.

When all is said and done, I want to like this review, because you know what you're talking about, but I can't get past the basic issues with structure and flow.

That said, don't give up. You demonstrate some analytical abilities here that some people never get, so work on the presentation and you'll be a fine reviewer someday soon.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


board icon
Author: Lewis
Posted: March 07, 2009 (03:37 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

"A good writer on this site once told me never to use lists in my reviews."

*waves*


Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.


board icon
Author: bloomer
Posted: March 07, 2009 (04:24 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

I say use lists all you want... if they're at the end of the review, and it seems here they are. If that's what is being talked about? I assume Zipp meant those little category summaries?

To me, this is not important compared to just the general roundaboutness of the structure.


Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.


board icon
Author: Lewis
Posted: March 07, 2009 (04:33 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Subcategories (which is what I assume Zipp is referring to) can work, but only when they're thickly disguised and serve a purpose. Splitting it into subcategories ruins the flow, and moreover, suggests you're not really engaging with what makes the game tick. Instead, you're just going through the technical motions of the game development process.

Here, the fact that the reviewer feels it necessary only to talk about the cinematic direction and the combat suggests he does know what's going on at the heart of the game. But it feels a bit clunky to put it under subheadings like this. Try removing them. It reads far better, without losing anything.

It's nowhere near as bad as putting "GRAFFIX, SOUND, GAYMPLAY!" and so on, clearly, because that demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of how videogames affect us as players. But it still reads awkwardly.


Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.


board icon
Author: bloomer
Posted: March 07, 2009 (05:06 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Maybe we're all talking about different things. Zipp said 'lists' - I thought he meant the little subcategories at the end of the review, and that was already a stretch from what I was thinking of, which was more like a list of pros and cons. And you're talking about the broader headings throughout the review. I almost didn't notice those here because the review is long. But I think all in all we all kinda get what each other is talking about by now.

Also, I can't believe you are slandering the invaluable 'GAYMPLAY' category ;)

I don't think using such categories displays a 'complete' lack of understanding. It's just not possible to formulate certain ideas in writing when using them, so ultimately most good writers will find they dispense with them as necessary. But there are still plenty of decent, and some excellent, reviews around which use categories.


Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.


board icon
Author: zippdementia
Posted: March 07, 2009 (02:02 PM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Lewis actually wasn't the one I was referring to, because I didn't reply snarkily to him (if you'll remember). But Lewis gave me similar advice, yes.

It was Suskie who originally gave me the advice, back on my Dead Space review.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


board icon
Author: fleinn
Posted: March 08, 2009 (06:16 PM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

Really appreciate the feedback. I wrote about it a bit on the blog.. I had two versions. This is the first one, that was supposed be two pages. And then I added some headlines and spacing - which.. *cough*. Looked better in the text- editor. But I agree that's not the biggest problem with the review.

*sigh* this wasn't as easy as I thought :)

edit: I updated it a bit.. couldn't get rid of the lists, though :D. But I see the point - if it was a bit shorter, and I had smuggled in those points in the rest of the review, that would've been better. To me it was more of a summary, since I had already written about twice as long as I was supposed to. But it reads more as if I'm just piling on what I couldn't put into actual words, no?


Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.


board icon
Author: zippdementia
Posted: March 09, 2009 (12:04 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

It reads like a solid attempt at a review with some common mistakes made by a lot of people who are just starting out. I know... I was there not so long ago.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


board icon
Author: fleinn
Posted: March 09, 2009 (10:06 AM)
Actions: Register for a free user account to post on the forums...

And it actually looked much better in my head, before I wrote it down, you know? :p Irritating thing.


Not sure how to make a sig? While logged into your account, you can edit it and your other public and private information from the Settings page.


This message was administratively deleted because it did not adhere to site guidelines, or because a user other than unlomsProokense requested its removal.

Info | Help | Privacy Policy | Contact | Links

eXTReMe Tracker
© 1998-2014 HonestGamers
None of the material contained within this site may be reproduced in any conceivable fashion without permission from the author(s) of said material. This site is not sponsored or endorsed by Nintendo, Sega, Sony, Microsoft, or any other such party. Rise of the Argonauts is a registered trademark of its copyright holder. This site makes no claim to Rise of the Argonauts, its characters, screenshots, artwork, music, or any intellectual property contained within. Opinions expressed on this site do not necessarily represent the opinion of site staff or sponsors. Staff and freelance reviews are typically written based on time spent with a retail review copy or review key for the game that is provided by its publisher.