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Forums > Submission Feedback > woodhouse's Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine review

This thread is in response to a review for Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine on the Wii. You are encouraged to view the review in a new window before reading this thread.

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Author: zippdementia
Posted: February 15, 2009 (09:08 PM)
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A nice scatheing review, Woodhouse. However, I have some criticism of your writing style. It's a general criticism that spans many of your reviews, though I'll highlight this one.

It has to do with your paragraph structure. Many times your paragraphs introduce a point and then change up stances so many times it's like watching a karate master go through his exercises.

Case in point:

"Curse you, Bobby Flay! No disrespect to the other illustrious Iron Chefs of America. Mario Batali is a preeminent expert on authentic Italian cuisine. Cat Cora's distinctive style originates from her Greek and Southern roots. Masuharu Morimoto is a master of all things Japanese, having held his position of Iron Chef in that country's version of the show as well. And Michael Symon, well, he's too new to be sorely missed. But Chef Flay appears first in this pantheon of culinary greatness. He's participated in the most battles of anyone through the opening seasons of the show. So his absence in Iron Chef America: Supreme Cuisine is particularly hard to swallow."

Note how you start off by cursing Bobby Flay? That leads the reader to assume that Bobby is going to be the villain of the paragraph. But in fact, you end up by bemoaning his absence from the game. I had to read this paragraph a couple times before I understood that you were cursing his absence, not him personally.

Another thing here. You mention three chefs that ARE in the game, than follow with "And Michael Symon, well, he's too new to be sorely missed." Wait, what? Weren't you just talking about chefs that were IN the game? Now you've switched very suddenly to mentioning a chef that's not in the game?

See how it can get confusing to read?

Another, lesser one:

"Of course, including the spirit of that curmudgeon is just part of presenting the total Iron Chef America experience. The single-player career mode is actually a ladder tournament, where you guide an unknown challenger (you can choose male or female) to the top of the heap. The lower rungs are populated by fictional chefs with comical appearances; naturally, the French guy sports a villainous moustache. It culminates in battles with Cora, Matsumoto, and Batali (complete with shorts and orange clogs). It's The Chairman, though, who shines."

You jump without any warning from talking about the gameplay to talking about graphics. You're lacking transitions, and it makes it hard to take your reviews seriously sometimes, despite the fact that you have genuinely good points to make. Fix up your style a bit, and you could be a top-notch reviewer in no time.

Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."

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