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Forums > Submission Feedback > threetimes's The Fifth Element review

This thread is in response to a review for The Fifth Element on the PlayStation. You are encouraged to view the review in a new window before reading this thread.

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Author: bloomer
Posted: February 09, 2009 (03:56 AM)
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Yeah, I quite enjoyed this in its imperfect Playstationy way when I tried it back in the early 2000s. The only reason I stopped playing was I got totally stuck at one part (couldn't work out what to do / where to go) and no-one had written a walkthrough back then. I see you wrote one a few years later! Well, if I get back to playing games, I might bust this one out, confident I can get unstuck if it happens again.


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Author: threetimes
Posted: February 09, 2009 (07:31 AM)
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Yeah, I've probably played this more than any one else on the planet. I loved it, imperfections and all.


Don't panic!


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Author: zippdementia
Posted: February 09, 2009 (12:49 PM)
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You have the basics for a good bash review here, but the form isn't really together yet, and you haven't found your style. For instance, to tear apart this last paragraph...

"All in all it is fun IF you are very tolerant of an incoherent story, poor graphics, simplistic combat and long levels. However the music is good on the whole, and sometimes eerily appropriate with slow and haunting sparse melodies. It also features the wonderful operatic singing that is heard in the film. And you get to see Zorg again for about two seconds. And finally, if for any reason you have a grudge against New York cops and green aliens, you might enjoy killing a few."

This is a very odd way to end a review. You start with a good solid point: this game has little going for it. Then you try to back track and point out some random good things, but it doesn't really fit. If you wanted to talk about music, you should've done so earlier.

Better would be to combine the first and last sentences into a concluding bash, like so:

Fifth Element suffers from a number of incurable maladies, including an incoherent story, poor graphics, simplistic combat, and long levels. You might enjoy it, anyway, if for any reason you have a grudge against New York cops and green aliens.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


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Author: bloomer
Posted: February 09, 2009 (07:23 PM)
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Trouble with those ideas is, he likes the game :)

I think the target is the difficult 'I like this even though I can see 1000 things wrong with it' review, with the corresponding 5 or 6 score. The review certainly goes that way, but could probably use some improvements.


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Author: zippdementia
Posted: February 10, 2009 (12:05 AM)
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Yeah, if THAT'S the case, then there's all sorts of bad confusion here. Sorry to say it, True, but it could use a rewrite.


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


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Author: threetimes
Posted: February 10, 2009 (12:37 AM)
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Trouble with those ideas is, she likes the game :)

Yep. That's true. :D. I liked the game despite all the ridiculous things. I wrote the review a while ago, and though I edited it a bit, seeing it posted here made me realise all the things I'd left out. I don't give any examples of the missions or what's involved, and the tone is confused: hence that conclusion, trying to redeem something. If I'd not seen the film I wouldn't have given it the time of day, so maybe that's the crux of it.


Don't panic!


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Author: bloomer
Posted: February 10, 2009 (01:11 AM)
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Sorry :) Uch, you know what's weird? I had a premonition about that. Seriously, after I typed my last message, I thought 'I don't if threetimes is male or female.' Weeeell, I should have acted on my premonition, dagnabbit!


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Author: zippdementia
Posted: February 10, 2009 (01:46 AM)
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I meant Three times, not true... sorry :P


Note to gamers: when someone shoots you in the face, they aren't "gay." They are "psychopathic."


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Author: threetimes
Posted: February 11, 2009 (11:33 PM)
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Awww ;) Apologies are unnecessary. I've redrafted the review, and maybe will get around to updating it. Thanks for the comments though.


Don't panic!


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