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Title: Crap, I got nothing!
Posted: July 08, 2009 (02:48 AM)
After three weeks, I have no points and only one paragraph of a new review. I might have to commit seppuku after this. Or write about the fictional 10/10 game, Jedi Knight: Finding the Northwest Passage '09.
Users with accounts on the HonestGamers site are able to contribute reviews and occasionally other types of content. Below, you'll find excerpts from as many as 20 of the most recent articles posted by disco1960. Be sure to leave some feedback if you find anything interesting!
The future is not as pleasant as it looks. Underneath its brightly colored and highly reflective surface, a totalitarian government sees fit to monitor the flow of all information and crush any dissent among its citizens. In this world, the only privacy allowed is through use of an elite, underground team of mailmen, specially trained in traversing dense urban landscapes in short periods of time. Known as Runners, or “those who walk in paths not meant for human locomotion”, in Mirro...
This may come as a surprise to all of you, but my heart is that of a street racer. Yes, like all street racers, most of my waking moments are spent thinking up ways to quickly navigate tight corners with minimal braking, while my dreams at night are of having four wheels and a full tank of gas. Now, there are those out there who may question how this is appropriate or even really possible for someone with “no car” and “a license that’s been expired for years.” But it’s a simple explanation th...
Despite perennial good weather, an aura of melancholy permeates the town of Neverwinter. An epidemic has struck The City That Never Snows, and not the good kind; the cause is a plague called the “Wailing Death”, a disease whose name alone contains such repulsive connotations that one gets the sense that they’ve already been infected upon hearing the words. Undoubtedly, this would be the first reason why potential heroes from all over lately have been flocking to the Unwindy City....
There are many out there who might make the mistake of thinking Batman is just an ordinary video game. They’ll go and think things like, “it’s just an outdated platformer,” or “this just looks like some crappy licensed title from a technologically obsolete era,” or “he doesn’t have superpowers, so it’s fine if we shoot him in the mouth!” For a brief time, these thoughts crossed my mind as well. Yet after playing for just a short while, my usually normal blood pressure turned into audib...
The first thing you should know is that everything on the box of Ironsword: Wizards & Warriors 2 is an utter lie. Judging from the cover, most people would be expecting to play as a manly hero with a big sword and washboard abs that make shirtlessness a viable option. Let me warn you now; such a character does not exist anywhere within the confines of this cartridge. For those who enjoy making impulsive purchasing decisions, this may be a discovery that would infuriate the most ...
Although eclipsed in popularity by titles such as Solitaire and Minesweeper, 3D Pinball: Space Cadet is by far the most impressive game to come free with your Windows operating system. It’s a surprisingly thorough pinball simulation, for something that was probably designed to be an easy distraction, and its depth far surpasses anything that those silly playing card or IED-hunting games have to offer. Compared to a real pinball table, there shouldn’t be too many complaints as to its sho...
An online third-person shooter with perhaps the goofiest name ever, Gunz: The Duel pits you against random opponents wearing the same shirt you are in epic battles to the death for no apparent reason. Not an entirely original premise, to be sure. However, the game offers a selling point others don’t; namely, the fact that its gameplay bears a shameless disregard for the laws of physics that borders on contempt. It just so happens that Gunz takes place in a fantasy setting, where even t...
Game: Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (Miscellaneous)
Posted: September 12, 2007 (03:32 AM)
Even though the title of the piece may conjure images having to do with the sleep cycle, Dreamfall itself has nothing to do with boring. Just from the opening trailer, which is backed by smooth, alternative sounds of a Norwegian, you can catch a brief glimpse of the incredible places you’ll go, and the people you can meet—some of them are going to be ordinary, some of them are strange, and some of them amazing. In any case, the longest journey of Dreamfall is one that rarely leav...
At least once in a lifetime, all American citizens must make a pilgrimage to the distant land of Las Vegas. It is a strange land, where the air is warm at night; here, people come to indulge in more gambling, showgirls, and low-priced buffets than they’ll ever find anywhere else. With Super Caesars Palace for the Super Nintendo, one can now enjoy a veritable microcosm of the entire Vegas experience – only without the distance, warmth, showgirls, and low-priced buffets.
Game: Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship Tournament 2004 (Game Boy Advance)
Posted: October 07, 2005 (04:48 AM)
Kids today are playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, the hot new collectible card game which simulates battles of dark magic between pagan sorcerers. Or to be more precise, the card game simulates a card game that simulates magical battles. (That probably got unnecessarily confusing, but there’s a Japanese cartoon involved.) Typically, to obtain these cards one would have to go out to the store and purchase numerous and costly booster packs, but Yu-Gi-Oh! World Championship Tournament 2004 offers the card game ...
One of many Spider-Man video games in a long history of Spider-Man video games, Spider-Man & Venom: Maximum Carnage comes in the form of one of those "beat-a-lot-of-people-ups". It follows a storyline from the comic where Carnage (AKA Cletus "The Slack-Jawed Yokel" Kasady), a psychotic serial killer wearing a psychotic alien symbiotic costume, escapes from the insane asylum to wreak havoc on the city. Of course, he's also gathered together a gang of equally psychotic super-villains to help him; ...
Game: Dungeons & Dragons: Warriors of the Eternal Sun (Genesis)
Posted: April 29, 2005 (10:37 PM)
One day, as the human army was defending the castle against a goblin attack, a large and unpleasant-looking vortex appeared out of nowhere engulfed the castle and its people. When the humans wake up, they find themselves in a land of perpetual daylight, full of bloodthirsty monsters and the foul stench of evil. The good news is that the goblins are nowhere to be found. But the bad news is, whatever place the castle has been transported to appears to be located at the bottom of a valley surround...
Game: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II - The Sith Lords (Xbox)
Posted: April 19, 2005 (10:54 PM)
Now, I’ve played the original Knights of the Old Republic, and found it simply extraordinary. That was a game that offered everything: an unforgettably epic story, the ability to explore worlds one could only otherwise imagine, as well as a delightful freedom of morality that hardly ever ceased to be entertaining. It all melded into an experience that only comes once in a lifetime. Of course, when the sequel to that very game was released a scant year later, from a brand new developer ...
Robots are undeniably cool. Everybody knows police officers are totally awesome. It was only a matter of time until somebody decided to bring the two together. When it did… they called him Robocop. And he represented something; namely, the courage to keep going despite what you lost, and the ability to kick lots of ass. The idealism of it all made for a great movie, and this game that comes from it a fairly enjoyable experience as well.
As lowly officers working in narcotics, you’re given the objective to take a stroll through the shady part of town and basically eliminate any scumbags that happen to be residing there. The task won’t be easy; you’ll have to confront dealers, addicts, killer clowns, and more as you struggle to make the streets a safer place for everyday citizens. You’re also likely going to be outnumbered, and your only allies will be your machine gun, rocket launcher, and brightly-colored riot gear.
After several repeated plays of the various songs in the original Karaoke Revolution, it still hardly loses any of its charm. Practically a timeless classic, that one was. Still, deep down in our heart of hearts, the lot of us yearned for more. More songs to sing, and more ways to show that we got soul.
Entries of the Final Fantasy series have always been memorable classics of one sort or another. Since the beginning, each of the Final Fantasy games were designed to be nothing less than epic quests for a group of heroes to defeat evil and save the world. (I suppose that’s the appeal of the whole series, really, as anyone can share in the fantasy of being a hero.) Lately, for better or worse, the games have placed a greater emphasis on telling a complex and engaging story. Final Fantasy X is...
If you have the urge for some casual demon fighting action, then look no further. This game offers plenty of demons, girls with sacred arrows, a lady with a giant boomerang, and a guy who sucks up things with his hand.
At first glance, Batman Forever probably seemed much more impressive than it actually is. They had the swinging commercial with the catchy Real Game Begins jingle airing at the time, which could easily lead to you believe that this game could capture the experience of being Batman in it's entirety, as well as accurately simulate reality in a mere 16-bits. Fortunately, we know better today, so the game doesn't result in utter disappointment.
As true believers may be aware of already, the story of X-Men takes place in a world where certain individuals are prone to genetic mutations which grant them superhuman abilities, i.e. mutants. Naturally, this results in their becoming pariahs, which in turn leads to the more disgruntled ones occasionally deciding to take out their resentment on ordinary humanity.