Title: The Multiplayer Game Commandments
Posted: July 03, 2007 (03:07 AM)
I used to write editorials. I thought they were the best articles on this site, and plenty of people loved them. They were half games culture commentary, half sit-down comedy. It has been a long time since I wrote anything, so last night I forced myself to come up with something. It's not as good as the stuff I used to write, lacking most of the outright comedy. I guess I'm just not as angry these days. But, it's a start.
You do not quit. Not ever, for any reason. Take the best reason you can think of for quitting a game, and then throw it away, because it is invalid. Your mother is dying? She'll just have to hold on a little longer then, won't she? Finish every game you start, regardless of how good or bad you are doing. A quit is a loss, and any game that does not reflect this attitude was programmed by pussies for pussies who quit. Quitters are pussies.
Banning things you don't like also makes you a pussy. Nothing is 'cheap'. If something works, use it. If something is beating you, then learn how to counter it. If you refuse to utilise an advantage because some part of you feels that it is dishonourable, then you are only constraining yourself. Removing perfectly viable tactics from a game just because you don't know how to deal with them makes you an even bigger loser. (The exception to this is in certain tournaments that have well-publicised rules on who/what is 'banned'.)
In a team game, your score is the TEAM score. Let's take Counter Strike. Let us assume there are 8 players on each team, and that you are playing a 5 round game. If you kill 7 of the opposing team each round, but the 8th one kills you and only you to win the round, then your team lose 5-0. This means that your score is not 35, but is in fact 0. Nobody fucking cares if you lead the game in kills if your team lost. If your team lost, then you lost. It is a cliché, but it is also highly appropriate ; There is no I in T-E-A-M.
If you are vastly outclassing your opponent/s, then do them the service of playing at your usual level. There is a real temptation to showboat, but you should only do that if it will help the lesser skilled players to learn and improve. Once the game is over, then leave. Find someone your own size to pick on.
In any MMO, be SURE to carry an emergency self-heal. A tank usually needs a cleric much more than the cleric needs the tank. If the tank relies on the healer, then it is his own stupid fault if the healer can't heal him in time.
Also, in MMOs, know your role. A tank is NOT a damage dealer, he is a damage TAKER. It makes not the slightest bit of difference who in the party kills the mob, as long as the party kills the mob. Remember ; There is no I in T-E-A-M.
Know your limitations, and drop your ego. Do whatever helps the team the most. You may be the best sniper in the team, but if you are also the best medic then you probably won't be sniping.
In a competitive single-player battle situation, there are no rules preventing strategic alliances. Unless the game specifically disallows it, lesser players should band together to take out the bigger threats. Likewise, stronger players should avoid other strong players until it is essential, and should clear the field of lesser players before tackling the more able threats. This is because luck can often be a factor in determining victory, and luck has no respect for your stature.
There comes a time for all alliances to end. Do not hesitate when this time comes. Honour will take you so far, but it is almost certainly not going to carry you across the finishing line in 1st position. That only comes about by being ruthless.
Manners cost nothing. Asking for help with a "please" is much more likely to work than SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT ever is. I make it a point to not help out people who expect it from me to the detriment of their own performance, as do many others. If you demand something from me, that is the quickest way to never see it.
Games are supposed to be fun. If they are not, then stop playing. Don't stress out, don't complain, don't spoil the experience for everyone else. Leave after the game, and then either practise to improve, or find something else to play.
Never, EVER, cheat in a multiplayer game. If you need to do something outside of the normal controls to do it, it is probably wrong. If you need to use external hard/software to do it, it is definitely wrong! Think of cheating as like sex ; You should only do it with other consenting partners.
Auto-team and Random select RULE! The world would be a better place if everybody used them.
Posted: July 03, 2007 (09:42 AM)
I agree with pretty much everything you wrote there, though I still feel bad if I'm playing on a team and I have 3 kills, then we lose by a few kills while everyone else on my team had kill numbers in the double digits. I do tend to minimize my own deaths, but I'm also often one of the mid range players on the team (at best), so I'm one of the ones that people look to take out first because I'm (fairly) perceived as a light threat and they're following your strategy of clearing out the weaklings before tending to the strong ones.
Posted: July 05, 2007 (10:02 PM)
Being able to quit is the one thing that keeps me anchored in sanity. If all my teammates are arrogant douches and/or unhelpful I'm not going to keep playing just so their ranks can advance slightly. Fuck Commandment 1 but I agree with most of these.