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cheekylee Once again, Venter does something to the site and I get to play about a little. I love it, I really do. It makes me feel all squishy inside. Warm, and moist. And tight, like a tiger.

Um ... yeah. Words go here. Some will, soon.

Title: The Multiplayer Game Commandments
Posted: July 03, 2007 (03:07 AM)
I used to write editorials. I thought they were the best articles on this site, and plenty of people loved them. They were half games culture commentary, half sit-down comedy. It has been a long time since I wrote anything, so last night I forced myself to come up with something. It's not as good as the stuff I used to write, lacking most of the outright comedy. I guess I'm just not as angry these days. But, it's a start.

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You do not quit. Not ever, for any reason. Take the best reason you can think of for quitting a game, and then throw it away, because it is invalid. Your mother is dying? She'll just have to hold on a little longer then, won't she? Finish every game you start, regardless of how good or bad you are doing. A quit is a loss, and any game that does not reflect this attitude was programmed by pussies for pussies who quit. Quitters are pussies.

Banning things you don't like also makes you a pussy. Nothing is 'cheap'. If something works, use it. If something is beating you, then learn how to counter it. If you refuse to utilise an advantage because some part of you feels that it is dishonourable, then you are only constraining yourself. Removing perfectly viable tactics from a game just because you don't know how to deal with them makes you an even bigger loser. (The exception to this is in certain tournaments that have well-publicised rules on who/what is 'banned'.)

In a team game, your score is the TEAM score. Let's take Counter Strike. Let us assume there are 8 players on each team, and that you are playing a 5 round game. If you kill 7 of the opposing team each round, but the 8th one kills you and only you to win the round, then your team lose 5-0. This means that your score is not 35, but is in fact 0. Nobody fucking cares if you lead the game in kills if your team lost. If your team lost, then you lost. It is a cliché, but it is also highly appropriate ; There is no I in T-E-A-M.

If you are vastly outclassing your opponent/s, then do them the service of playing at your usual level. There is a real temptation to showboat, but you should only do that if it will help the lesser skilled players to learn and improve. Once the game is over, then leave. Find someone your own size to pick on.

In any MMO, be SURE to carry an emergency self-heal. A tank usually needs a cleric much more than the cleric needs the tank. If the tank relies on the healer, then it is his own stupid fault if the healer can't heal him in time.

Also, in MMOs, know your role. A tank is NOT a damage dealer, he is a damage TAKER. It makes not the slightest bit of difference who in the party kills the mob, as long as the party kills the mob. Remember ; There is no I in T-E-A-M.

Know your limitations, and drop your ego. Do whatever helps the team the most. You may be the best sniper in the team, but if you are also the best medic then you probably won't be sniping.

In a competitive single-player battle situation, there are no rules preventing strategic alliances. Unless the game specifically disallows it, lesser players should band together to take out the bigger threats. Likewise, stronger players should avoid other strong players until it is essential, and should clear the field of lesser players before tackling the more able threats. This is because luck can often be a factor in determining victory, and luck has no respect for your stature.

There comes a time for all alliances to end. Do not hesitate when this time comes. Honour will take you so far, but it is almost certainly not going to carry you across the finishing line in 1st position. That only comes about by being ruthless.

Manners cost nothing. Asking for help with a "please" is much more likely to work than SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OFF AND/OR SPAMMING FOR IT ever is. I make it a point to not help out people who expect it from me to the detriment of their own performance, as do many others. If you demand something from me, that is the quickest way to never see it.

Games are supposed to be fun. If they are not, then stop playing. Don't stress out, don't complain, don't spoil the experience for everyone else. Leave after the game, and then either practise to improve, or find something else to play.

Never, EVER, cheat in a multiplayer game. If you need to do something outside of the normal controls to do it, it is probably wrong. If you need to use external hard/software to do it, it is definitely wrong! Think of cheating as like sex ; You should only do it with other consenting partners.

Auto-team and Random select RULE! The world would be a better place if everybody used them.
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Recent Contributions

Users with accounts on the HonestGamers site are able to contribute reviews and occasionally other types of content. Below, you'll find excerpts from as many as 20 of the most recent articles posted by cheekylee. Be sure to leave some feedback if you find anything interesting!

Type: Review
Game: The King of Fighters 2006 (PlayStation 2)
Posted: July 09, 2007 (05:30 PM)
When you buy this game, you will be holding in your hands the game that you really hoped the first one was. You will have the game that you wanted, that you needed, and that you deserved.
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Type: Review
Game: Tortuga:Two Treasures (Miscellaneous)
Posted: July 02, 2007 (05:00 PM)
The damage engine in particular is exceptional, as you can see individual sails being ripped, and holes appearing in the sides of the ships due to cannon fire. Honestly, it is quite an impressive sight. The sea itself is handled very well, with sharks circling for snacks in the form of men overboard!
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Type: Review
Game: Mercury Meltdown Revolution (Wii)
Posted: June 18, 2007 (08:20 PM)
Ultimately, what makes Mercury Meltdown Revolution such a great game is the game design. Igntion Entertainment have crafted a superb example of player versus environment.
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Type: Review
Game: Just Cause (Xbox 360)
Posted: May 31, 2007 (09:35 AM)
Just Cause starts out in spectacular style ; It throws you out of a plane! As you hurtle towards the island of San Esperito, you can't help but think "This is cool." Upon landing, you are thrust straight into a gunfight with several assailants attacking your friend, with your job being to save his life by ending theirs. Then, before you even have time to catch your breath, you jump on the back of a truck which speeds off towards your destination. Cars chase you, and even helicopters join ...
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Type: Review
Game: The Sacred Rings (Miscellaneous)
Posted: May 24, 2007 (10:28 AM)
There is nothing like a good adventure game. Unfortunately, Aura 2 is nothing like a good adventure game.
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Type: Review
Game: Earth Defense Force 2017 (Xbox 360)
Posted: May 23, 2007 (06:28 AM)
This is a game that will make you cry.
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Type: Review
Game: WarioWare: Smooth Moves (Wii)
Posted: April 27, 2007 (02:17 AM)
Videogames, when you get right down to it, are all essentially the same. There is movement, and conflict, towards an end. The methods of movement may alter, the conflicts may be disguised, and the ends are many and varied. However, even with all these variables, there is ultimately little difference between Pong and World of Warcraft. The two games are merely at opposite ends of the same definition.
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Type: Review
Game: Wii Sports (Wii)
Posted: January 22, 2007 (02:48 PM)
You step up to the tee. You observe the wind, take a look at the lie of the fairway, and aim your shot accordingly. Finally, you select your club, and after a couple of practise shots, you swing for all you are worth.
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Type: Review
Game: Meteos (DS)
Posted: January 30, 2006 (04:59 AM)
Planet Meteo is a big bully! While other planets all live in peace and harmony, this evil planet has a chip on its shoulder. More than just a chip, actually. Meteo has bricks on its shoulders. Multi-coloured bricks, called meteos, that the planet sees fit to hurl into the galaxy. And not just randomly, either. No, these bricks are launched at other planets where they pile up until the planet is engulfed in a mountain of them. When this happens, the meteos go nova, and the planet is destroyed.
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Type: Review
Game: Yoshi's Touch & Go (DS)
Posted: October 16, 2005 (04:49 AM)
Admit it. When you bought your DS, you looked at the plastic stick thing, and wondered just how much use it was actually going to be, didn't you? Oh, sure, the rec room in Super Mario 64 DS was good fun, particularly the catapult Wario minigame. And maybe you even played Wario Ware : Touched too, but you probably thought that was about as far as touch-screen gaming was going to develop on this new console. A nice gimmick, a lovely extra, but ultimately not really an evolution in g...
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Type: Review
Game: OutRun 2 (Miscellaneous)
Posted: August 02, 2004 (09:49 AM)
I went into the arcade just because that is what I do. If I see an arcade, no matter where, I am compelled to enter. The draw is too strong. The sounds, the colours, the feel, the smell ; it's too much for me to resist. Often times I am dissapointed. Perhaps I might find an old forgotten game that no longer works. Perhaps I find nothing but dancing games. Perhaps I only find one-arm bandits. I admit that I was expecting not to see anything more than standard arcade fare this time.
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Type: Review
Game: N2O: Nitrous Oxide (PlayStation)
Posted: June 22, 2004 (02:55 PM)
Balance. In the end, that is what it is all about. Nothing more, nothing less, than balance.
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Type: Review
Game: P.N.03 (GameCube)
Posted: June 07, 2004 (04:27 PM)
It must be interesting to work for Capcom. Imagine, say, you were serving lunch. Chances are you get paid more for serving multiple customers at a time. Throw the customers their bread roll, and get bonus style points if you can bounce it off their heads. Perhaps the accounts department is in on the act. Mere double-entry book-keeping in Capcom offices is probably frowned upon. Enter things in 5 ledgers and earn extra pay! Or something like that.

Type: Review
Game: Pokemon Colosseum (GameCube)
Posted: May 26, 2004 (10:57 AM)
It almost seems pointless even writing this review. Because, what we are dealing with is unquestionably the biggest franchise in videogames history. A franchise that has polarised the audience like none other before it. It can be said of many games that you either love it or hate it. But, the levels of devotion and detestation that this game provokes simply do not exist anywhere else in gaming. Some clamour for every latest release, determined to ''catch them all'', fully utilising the most fund...
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Type: Review
Game: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (PlayStation 2)
Posted: May 09, 2004 (03:54 PM)
Nostalgia has this way of playing tricks on you. Things that you remember as being an official ''good thing'' are not always so when viewed through older (and possibly less easily impressed) eyes. Things that completely blew you away upon first viewing can often seem mundane, and even ugly when revisited 14 years later. Reunions are not always all they are cracked up to be, and you may well find that your one-time best friend is now a shambling mess. In a nutshell, sometimes the past is best lef...
[reply][leave comment]

Type: Review
Game: WarioWare, Inc: Mega Microgame$! (Game Boy Advance)
Posted: September 17, 2003 (03:40 AM)
There is a moment in this game that will live in infamy. One of the 200+ games is called simply 'Pick', and has you timing a button press so as to insert a finger up a nose. You will probably fail the first time simply because you are laughing so much. But, you'll forgive the game, because about 5 seconds later you have to do something else equally insane.
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Type: Review
Game: Burnout 2: Point of Impact - Developer's Cut (Xbox)
Posted: June 05, 2003 (01:59 PM)
*Note : This review is for the Xbox version of the game, but you could also apply it to all other versions. Just take out the bit about Live! support. Oh, and for the PS2, you only get 15 Crash Junctions.*
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Type: Review
Game: Ikaruga (Dreamcast)
Posted: January 08, 2003 (04:37 PM)
''It goes without saying that you can avoid and escape from trial. But the true meaning of trial is to overcome such your weakness.''
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Type: Review
Game: Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 (PlayStation 2)
Posted: December 06, 2002 (02:54 PM)
Someone should ban the use of the word 'extreme' when it comes to describing the sports chosen by people who wear baggy pants. Why is skateboarding more extreme than, say, darts? The risk of injury in darts is surely higher, considering it is played mostly in places that people congregate to drink vast quantites of alcohol. But, I digress.
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Type: Review
Game: Virtua Fighter 4 (PlayStation 2)
Posted: November 19, 2002 (02:14 PM)
There was a time when fighting games were as common as raindrops. Every day there were a few new ones released, mostly identikit, and mostly decidedly average affairs. This was due to the incredible success of Street Fighter 2, by Capcom. Clones were releaesed with frightening regularity, and the genre very nearly died due to over-exposure. The limits of what was possible were reached very quickly, or so people thought. However, nobody was prepared for what SEGA was cooking up in the background....
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