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Joseph Shaffer
Retro gamer, horror/b-movie fan, games critic, father. In other words, I don't sleep much.

Reviews: 270 | Games: | Following: 36 | Followers: 16

Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyer07:53 PM
Tonight it begins... #Halloween Reviews
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 29, 2014
@EmP Ah, I believe I already did that. I've been crafting obsidian swords, and just made a sharp obsidian bastard sword. I also ventured out of the temple for a while, and all I can say is: fuck lizardmen. The ones outside have been ruthless.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 28, 2014
@EmP noticed anything.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 28, 2014
@EmP I've already gotten a few warps, and they've been very nice to have. I don't know if I have access to that sword yet, but I did give some lizardman swords to a smith in Harbour Town. It sounded like that was going to unlock something, but I haven't..
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 28, 2014
open a gate. If this chapter is strictly contained within the temple, then I can't imagine how they're going to pad it out.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 28, 2014
Started chapter 3 of Risen today, which so far has consisted of venturing into a temple within a volcano. I've killed a good number of lizardmen and their pets, but haven't made much progress there otherwise. Right now, I need to find a second winch to...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 27, 2014
Risen- Obtained three of the discs so far and completed a few more side quests. I also decided to sell most of my loot and earned a good 4000 gold, then used some of the obsidian and gold I've gained through prospecting to craft a new sword.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 24, 2014
I've only got two more rough drafts to write for my October reviews. I'm excited to get these ones out, even if I didn't cover many well known titles this year. I originally planned to do a bunch of Alone in the Dark games, but that fell through.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 21, 2014
Risen- Chapter 1 complete. I now have to acquire some special discs to advance further, and I think I've uncovered the location of one. After I wrap up some quests in Harbor Town, I plan to pay some thieving gnomes a visit...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 21, 2014
@Rasetsu Only if Bea Arthur is done up like Musashi. Otherwise it's a rental...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 19, 2014
@Ben @Suskie What game? I'd probably love it.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 19, 2014
Risen- I have officially joined Don Estaban. Currently I need to set up a meeting to negotiate with The Inquisitor, mainly for recon purposes.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 17, 2014
Risen- Completed a few quests before realizing that I'll need the sneak ability in order to do a certain one. Grr! At least I found a way into Harbour Town that doesn't require me to shell out 100 gold.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 14, 2014
number of enemies, "lootable" items, and means of making money (short of pickpocketing or murdering NPC and swiping their pocket change). My inventory right now reminds me of the SNES-era Final Fantasys. I'm pretty much a hoarder.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 14, 2014
There doesn't seem to be a carrying capacity in Risen. I'm kind of glad, because that's something I miss about older RPGs. It can be annoying trying to balance what to carry and what to leave behind, especially since this game technically has a limited...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 13, 2014
Risen- I've been sweeping the land in chapter 1, taking out as many targets as I can, looting corpses, and nabbing all manner of goodies. I've also exposed Brogar as a crook in the bandit camp, and I aim to get a meeting with Esteban before too long.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 13, 2014
Risen- Defeated everyone in the arena, bought some work clothes (which provides better protection than my current armor), and beefed up quite a bit. I also took the time to butcher a few Order warriors and recruits atop the hill near the swamp.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 10, 2014
@EmP @jerec I'm sure at worst they'll change the title like The War Z did after legal threats.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 08, 2014
B) the Inquisition is a little authoritarian for my liking. The only crappy thing about the Don is that his faction doesn't seem very organized or intelligent.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 08, 2014
don't really know what I should do. I haven't done many quests and I have no idea where the next story mission lies. As far as factions are concerned, I'll likely join the Don, considering that A) I don't want to be a mage, so that nixes the Order, and...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 08, 2014
Risen- I've beefed up my character considerably, at least in comparison to his beginning stats. I've mostly been training in strength, and after making my first sword, I've been doing a pretty good job of pulverizing the locals. Unfortunately, I still...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 06, 2014
Entered Harbour Town in Risen and scrounged up every little sellable piece of miscellany I could find. Currently attempting to amass some quests so I can make money and eventually afford my first set of armor. I'm tired of running around naked.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 06, 2014
Holy crap, the protagonist's voice actor in Risen is terrible. I've seen movies with background objects that have more personality. And why does my character keep shuffling around during conversations like he has to pee?
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 05, 2014
Played a little bit of Risen. I'm still in the early phases of the game, having just found a decent sword and met a guy named Jan who can escort me to one of a few different areas. I selected his camp.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 05, 2014
Finished The Walking Dead. God, that ending...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 03, 2014
Walking Dead- Completed 1.4 and got through the first chapter of 1.5.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 02, 2014
Walking Dead 1.4- Currently on chapter 5, about to enter Crawford.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 02, 2014
Ohhhhhhh yeeeeaaaaaaahhhh...... It feels good to be able to game again.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 01, 2014
I am not even exaggerating when I say that this text is horrible. I've had a few occasions where I imagined Jason sending back a copyedit with a note saying something like, "This was a very, very rough read, and took many years to edit..."
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerSep 01, 2014
I am nearing the end of the dreadful text book, and I should soon have my exam scheduled and dealt with. Yes, this means you can expect reviews from me again soon. You've been warned.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 21, 2014
@jerec @joseph_valencia @honestgamer You guys also forgot forced humor. Plenty of that going around.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 21, 2014
@jerec 45 years and counting!
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 20, 2014
@pickhut important game of all time.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 20, 2014
@pickhut Ugh, that guy. I don't blame him for being pissed off, because I sure as hell would be if 99% of the internet were constantly trolling me, but I he needs to get over himself. "You don't deserve Fez 2." Oh noooooo! 'Cause Fez 1 was the most...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 19, 2014
@honestgamer @espiga @jerec I have noticed that there's a growing number of people who leave comments on articles on Facebook saying, "Ugh, you didn't say it was a video! I can read, you know!"
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 19, 2014
@jerec @espiga I've thought about starting a Twitch account. I dunno, I tend to be more of an article type person than a video one.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 19, 2014
@jerec The closest we've had to that brought on endless waves of whining. I'm not sure we can withstand another attack like that.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 14, 2014
@EmP Still sounda better than what the franchise has been doing.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 12, 2014
I got to the final stage on Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel. I may have had all I can stand. Review forthcoming, some day.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 12, 2014
@honestgamer According to what I've read, Zero is a spin-off of Aero (apparently they're rivals or something like that), so that might be why. I'm not sure about Aero, but Virtual Console isn't missing much without Zero...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 12, 2014
So far, Zero is not especially good. It's pretty much a standard animal-themed platformer with slightly irritating jump mechanics, made worse by its reliance on special maneuvers that you would most likely only know about if you read the manual.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 12, 2014
It also came to my attention that I've only reviewed on Sega Genesis game here. I aim to remedy that. I've compiled a list of games to play and eventually review. I tore into Zero the Kamikaze Squirrel a few minutes ago, and made it to a fire stage.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 12, 2014
I decided that since I'm more than 25% of the way through my text that I'd take some time to game and blow off some steam. Unfortunately, I'm not picking up Walking Dead right away, because I don't want to re-hook myself on that while studying.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 09, 2014
Gaming progress- Nil. Studying progress- Five chapters down, eighteen to go. I discovered that I need to memorize about a dozen different regulatory and voluntary standard-driven agencies, from FDA to Joint Commission. Bleh...
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 07, 2014
Gaming progress = None. Studying progress = survived four grueling chapters of information I already know, for the most part.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 04, 2014
I also got hit with the "Invisible Duck" glitch, where Katjaa is basically sitting there cradling nothing. Thankfully, it didn't last long, as I think it would have ruined a major scene in this episode.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 04, 2014
Finished The Walking Dead 1.3, and I'm calling it a night. That's... enough feels for one session.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 03, 2014
Walking Dead 1.3- Completed my first difficult choice of the episode and successfully raided the pharmacy.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 03, 2014
Completed The Walking Dead 1.2. Man, I feel like a piece of crap after that. I'll probably start 1.3 tonight.
Joseph Shaffer @JoeTheDestroyerAug 03, 2014
Walking Dead 1.2- Just had the big reveal, and I called it. Then again, I've seen my share of horror movies with creepy rural families who are hiding something.


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